Mail Order Bride Ode

The Attack & Defense of the Mail Order Bride Business (Part Two)

I would like to say that I am sorry for launching a personal attack on you, a total stranger. I have just heard so many horror stories about these kinds of things. But I did let my anger at these injustices get the better of me, and I should not have.

Amy apologizes for the personal attack; yet what injustice and horror stories is she referring to? It appears she is saying that foreign women from developing countries that marry American men are at risk. But she does not say what this risk is, why they are at risk, to what extent they are at risk or if the risk is any different than any American man or American woman would face being married. Amy does not factor in any evidence to justify her emotional outcry. Her anger is based on a false conclusion. That said, I do find your website extremely offensive and inflammatory in that you stereotype and degrade American women by saying that men can find "younger, more beautiful women than what is locally available" in Latin America.

This fact does not degrade American women. It speaks of the competitive advantage that American men have internationally due to qualities that foreign women appreciate and are often not accustomed to from the local men. What I believe you find "offensive" is American men selecting a foreign wife that you consider to be of lower caliber than American women. That statement does not speak very highly of your customers - it also stereotypes them (as shallow).

Why is it shallow to appreciate beauty and youth? You can claim beauty is superficial, but the reality is most of us want to be beautiful (women more so than men) and most men enjoy the company of beautiful looking women. If we want chocolate instead of broccoli you telling us that broccoli has more nutrition and substance than chocolate does not make us superficial for our selection of chocolate. It is ironic because you imply that American women place too much importance on money and personality, and then you appeal to the superficial and shallow aspects of your customers who are placing importance on age and physical appearance.

People do not consider youth and beauty as irrelevant as you do. At no time do I say this is all that men want and at no time does wanting a beautiful, young, foreign wife correlate to superficiality on their part. What you are doing is no different than calling someone shallow and superficial for playing paddle ball on the beach instead of chess in the den. Do these men seem any more noble than the American women (as you describe them) that they are trying to avoid?

I never said these men are trying to "avoid" American women. I am pronouncing that they have other alternatives to American women, an extension of their search horizon. I understand that these are marketing tactics and you must appeal to your customers. But relationships are not trade negotiations, where one party says: "o.k., I am bringing X beauty points to the table and Y personality points, what does that buy me?"

Every relationship is an exchange, and yes a form of negotiations is taking place. They may be exchanging your love and support for my love and support or any of a variety of role designations. What each party brings to the table may not be directly negotiated, but an evaluation is taking place on how a potential partner attributes meets your desires and needs. Yet none of this has anything to do with a "buy" and this decision making process goes on whether we are aware of it or not and it is a good way of determining if both are a good fit for the relationship. You say an American version of your wife would not be interested in you. What exactly does that mean?

I said she would not notice me. This means I would not catch the eye of an extremely beautiful American woman 18 years younger than me. What is an American "version" of your wife?

The short answer is a top of the line woman with super model looks in the prime of her youth with a college education. How do you qualify that statement?

I will quantify it for you a perfect 10. Does it mean that you are shallow and require a certain physical ideal woman whose arbitrary and fleeting beauty you desire? It means that I am normal and enjoy the beauty of attractive younger women. I don't expect the beauty of my wife to diminish in my eyes. Beauty is not "arbitrary" it is well defined in our society, but there is nothing wrong with an individuals arbitrary determination of beauty. While you like to throw out "shallow" I considered all the tangible and intangible qualities in the selection of my wife. If anyone is shallow maybe it is you. You appear to want to eliminate looks as a factor in choosing a partner because it is fleeting. You throw less into the mix than I do. So, how does that make you different from women who are after men for their money or power?

I have no objections to such women. They can set their criteria in any manner they so choose. I provide an avenue for men to counter such women. I am not trying to restrict anyone's selection of a spouse as you appear to be. It just seems so cynical when people view relationships this way. To use a really silly example, it is kind of like the fictional relationships depicted on "reality" t.v. Joe Millionaire wants a woman who is beautiful (his shallow criteria) and the women are looking for money (their shallow criteria). [I gather from all the hoopla about it that the woman who won was not actually in it for money, but who cares.] Anyway, the premise was such that he would get his beautiful woman, but that when she finds out he is not rich she will want nothing to do with him. I suppose that the intention of shows like this is to stereotype women as gold-diggers and men as shallow people seeking trophy wives. This just seems so cynical and jaded to me. I bring this up because that is the overall impression I get when looking at websites such as yours.

I don't see the cynicism you see. International Introductions exudes positivism and hope for discovering a different variety of woman that may be more suited for some men and the compatibility of their relationship. It is not cynical for two adults to determine the content and means for forming a relationship. It appears that your cynicism derives from the viewer and not by what is being viewed. And I guess what I'm saying is that maybe there are gold-digging women and shallow men in the world.

Men seeking beautiful wives are not shallow. If Albert Einstein wanted an attractive, young, beautiful foreign wife by your definition he would be shallow. And maybe they deserve each other when they end up together, and they don't mind what their relationships are based upon. (I can't imagine that they would actually be happy, but hey). And I feel like the general message of your website is to take the man's portion of that shallow relationship and do away with it. As though you are saying: "Hey you! Want a gorgeous wife but don't have the money to attract one? We have the solution!"

Your belief that wanting a gorgeous, foreign wife makes you shallow is wrong. But even if we accept your conclusion what is wrong with that? If I only want to watch cartoons instead of "better" television programming and you consider this shallow, fine. What's this have to do with your involvement and concern between two adults and the relationship they choose to be in? I know many, many beautiful American women who don't care about the finances of their significant others.

I accept that. And I also know many American men who look for more in a wife than physical appearance.

This is the case for every man I know And before you think to correct me on this I am aware that beauty and age are not the only selling points of your introduction service, they are just important enough to be mentioned prominently on your main web page.

You should know by now that men are visual, which is why beauty and youth holds a prominent role for men. It is simply the way we are and there is nothing wrong with that. Calling men shallow for our nature is like calling a man a "plate" the word carries no negative concern or relevance to us. It does not make us feel ashamed or any less driven in using beauty as an important component in selecting a wife. I feel like you are catering to a clientele who are only capable of having shallow relationships.

I cater to all men you just happen to think men are shallow for being men And if that's how you want to make a buck, I guess that's good for you. But all the cynicism you are pandering to is just causing more cynicism to grow.

The cynicism is in your head. Cynicism is not derived from bringing a couple into happiness. There is also evidence of unfair bias against Colombian men mentioned in your website or your last correspondence, I can't remember where. But it says that these men are not desired by Colombian women because they drink and/or are unfaithful. I get that this is your angle; I mean you've got to put down American women and Colombian men to justify the need for your business.

I do not put down Colombian men any differently than a football player saying to another football player from another team that we are going to win because we believe we are the better football team. The quote you are referring to is from a Colombian woman. This is what many Colombian women think of Colombian men. I do not to create an "angle" when the reality is ample promotion for the business. The "need" is natural I can not create a need. You just do not like the fact of American men seeking beautiful foreign women who are eager to meet quality American men But I believe that people are people, no matter where they come from or what they look like or how much money they have.

"People are people" only in the broadest since. People are different and different places have different types of people and the difference that American men have are desired by many foreign women. Stereotyping people based on sex or appearance or culture is hurtful and destructive.

I apply generalization where fitting. But there is no content to your charges of "stereotyping", "pandering", "put down" "cynicism", "shallow" these are just strong words in an empty shell. I probably won't be surprised if you comb over my letter thoroughly and get out your hair splitting devices and over-analyze every last semantic or grammatical nuance of my e-mail. I am not gifted at the art of argument or even communication for that matter.

This is just an excuse for hiding behind sloppy reasoning and unsubstantiated concerns. You presented a case that was filled with falsehoods and you expect this to go unchallenged. I agree you have difficulty in the art of debate and communications. However, this is due to your faulty thinking; it would be impossible for anyone to logically defend your position regardless of how well they communicated. Instead you attack and avoid any questioning that would distinctly define your position and likely contradictions. I asked you 20 questions and you failed to answer one single question. Yes, why answer any question that would make you look foolish for your beliefs. Doesn't matter that I answered every one of your questions to do the same in return just doesn't come to mind even though I specifically requested that you do so so we could fully understand your position. I address only the overall impression I gleaned from your website - that I find it derogatory - and the documented abuses and anecdotal evidence that the mail order bride industry is a sketchy one.

Your "impression" was void of facts. Whether or not you agree with anything I have written, you must admit that one unkind turn deserves another. That's only fair right?

Yes. You describe American women in unkind terms, even saying that we all think we're the best or something like that.

I specifically said, "To attract the premium American woman (and they all think their premium) requires you to be at the top of your game." I would hardly call this as unkind this and the three other sentences directly or indirectly referencing American women on the website if anything is a praising. I find a strong self esteem, discriminating taste and complicated traits as positive features. I have made it very clear I do not care or need to insult American women to highlight other avenues for American men that may be to their liking. Why you object to men having this avenue is still unexplained. Then you show a picture of a table of young Colombian women "vying" for a customer's attention. And this is not degrading to the Colombian women?

I did not think it was degrading for me to be vying for my wife's attention and all the other women I pursued in the past. So why should it be any different for women to do the same. If anything it puts them in control of who they choose to seek. When I was in my 20's I had women pursuing me and I never thought less of them for this. In fact I found the brightest and more accomplished women generally did this. The Colombian women that have participated in these social gathering have found the experience to be fun, interesting and safe. Many of these women have never met an American man so what's wrong with them sharing a conversation with other women to see if there is a mutual interest in a man they agree to meet based on seeing his photo and profile? Having to vie for a male's attention?

So you must feel only men should have to vie for a woman's attention. This is typical leftist feminist thinking. They want everything balanced among the sexes even if it goes against nature unless the "equality" is not in their favor. Hey wait a minute, this is getting to look even more like a reality t.v. show every minute!

No Amy, reality follows the laws of nature you are trying to fictionalize a bad ending that is void of reality. So you perpetuate more negativity towards yourself and your service.

Now this is a far leap women vying for a man's attention perpetuates more negativity towards me and my services. Amy you have yet to validate one negativity let alone "more." You view of the world is tainted by your own cynical outlook. I feel positive about what I do and the women and men we introduce that get engaged feel positive about the method of their introductions and the outcome. But we should stop the picture and listen to your shouts of negativity. Does it occur to you that you should be out the picture? Mail order bride jokes are almost as prevalent as lawyer jokes. Come on guy, you know that!

I have never heard of one mail order bride joke. But I have heard many dumb blonde jokes and that has never stopped any guy I know from chasing a blond or discourage any woman from dyeing her hair blond. So what does mail order bride jokes have to do about anything? What aspect of life is not joked about? Are you saying one shouldn't be a lawyer because many people make lawyer jokes? Is this your logic? Viewing your website and others like it does not leave me with a positive impression about your business.

I don't have a positive impression of the other mail order brides websites either, but it is very lacking for you not to be able to distinguish the difference in mine. The next time I am with friends and we see a repugnant obnoxious male with a wedding band, would it be insensitive to crack a male order bride joke? Insensitive to laugh at one? Perhaps.

Again what does this have to do with anything? It appears you are the one "stereotyping" men that marry foreign women. But seeing your website has understandably not made me feel sympathetic towards your cause. Amy I am not asking for your sympathy or support just your non interference; and it is not I with the "cause." I am simply for men and women freely selecting who they will marry. You are the one that appears to have the "cause" against matrimonial freedom for adults. Instead of trying to increase understanding about your service, you seem to want to alienate American women. I suppose you would, seeing as how women do not use your service.

Amy I don't need non-interested parties to understand my services. I run an introduction marriage agency not a public service outlet. The men and women that use our introduction service "understand." Your objections have allowed others to understand the mindset and true intentions of those that share your frightening, interfering, and freedom restrictive opinion. You hide your true intentions, which is to limit men from marrying foreign women who want to marry them. You attack without cause or facts. You belittle men and women from choosing how they should meet and who they can marry. You prevented a fair exchange and defined understanding by disregarding every question I asked of you, which makes it impossible for me to continue with your one way discussion void of evidence, reason and courtesy.

Jamie
Engage the Exotic – Mail Order Brides
http://International-Introductions.com

Author, Jamie Morrow, is the owner of International Introductions http://latin-wife.com a marriage agency specializing in Latin women. His expertise is in the mail order brides industry which has come under attack with pending legislation.

Mail Order Bride Poem

The Attack & Defense of the Mail Order Bride Business (Part One)

I am just taking a moment to write because I came across your site on the internet while researching the legality of mail order bride services. I am not going to tell you anything you do not already know. You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you. If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day. You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I'm not speaking about monetary wealth here; I'm saying you have no good qualities at all. Surprise! Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money. You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want "Mr. Big". The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need). So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty. Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that? You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S. You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship. News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real. Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you. Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these women face when they are stuck with losers like you.

Sincerely,

Amy XXXXXXX

Amy I am going to try to start a dialogue with you. I suspect this will be difficult based on your preference for name-calling, but I will still try to enlighten you on why your assumptions and impressions are not accurate. My experience with people who attack from an emotional, indoctrinated bias is that they are not inclined to learn or change regardless of the facts. However, my points will serve others. Understand every point I make will have exceptions, and that forming opinions on infrequent deviations does not diminish the overall benefits for the involved majority.

“You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you.”

Amy this is not true men select foreign brides for a variety of reasons. Some for their ethnicity, some for their values, some for their charm, the list is endless. What would be on the bottom of the list would be desperation; neither the men nor the women are desperate. The idea that these women would leave their home, family, friends and all the familiarities of their home country for a phony marriage is a sad perspective you have of such women. Believing all inhabitants of developing countries feel impoverished and desperate is a silly notion. The majority of the women on my website are average Colombian women who lead happy, productive lives. They know of only one existence. They do not compare being in you shoes and conclude from this that they have unfulfilled lives. The only "pretending" I see is you pretending to know me and the women you have never talked to. Unbeknownst to you, these women do defend their rights to choose who they marry, for example:

“I'm from Colombia South America and have friends that would love to find men from other country's. Not because we are so poor as some of you seem to think but because the men here enjoy cheating on there wife's and getting drunk. But I could be wrong it does seem you know more about my country then I do.”

You would get the same general response regardless of what foreign bride you talked to. But be honest Amy, you don't have any respect for how these women feel and believe. My guess is their opinions are meaningless to you because you would rationalize that since they make choices you disagree with they must not know what they are doing, is this not right?

“If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day.”

Again, you belittle these women. A look at the women's profiles would tell you that they come from all walks of life some are professionals, some are students, some are maids and some do not work, and yes, some cannot find work. However, what makes you think they do not have options for the men and path they take in life? Of course, their economic opportunities are not as strong as in the Western world, but this does not mean their opportunities for happiness is any less so, does it? Or are you correlating happiness with wealth?

“You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I'm not speaking about monetary wealth here, I'm saying you have no good qualities at all.”

Before I speak of me personally, the men seeking foreign women do so out of choice. They have no lack of options they have preferences. Are you against this choice? Do you believe American women or so high and mighty that any man that chooses not to connect with one is inadequate? You know nothing of my history yet you conclude this. I have a very positive impression of American women and I have been romantically successful with them all my life. I love the American woman's complexity, independence, strength, diversity, unpredictability and companionship. I love the fight in the American woman. It would not occur to me to see an American woman married to a foreign man from a third world county and think that she did so because she struck out with American men. I would think that she fell in love and he fell in love. But you don't appear to think in these terms. To you one was lacking good qualities and had no choice. Is this not a fair interpretation? I should let you know men from all walks of live marry foreign brides, their doctors, entrepreneurs, professionals, government employees, firemen, college students and soldiers. Isn't this something, the men just as the women come from all walks of live and you want to tell them where and how far they should walk.

But let us accept your premise, lets say a man did strike out all his life with American women. Does this mean he shouldn't look elsewhere? Does this mean he should be alone? Is it possible women of different cultures might have a different perspective in how they evaluate this man, and what you would consider as shortcoming others may find desirable. Is this possible Amy or should we just prohibit his efforts?

“Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money.”

Amy I make no claims otherwise. I just reject the demeaning limitations you assign to these women.

“You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want "Mr. Big".

Amy I sell matchmaking services, which means like all businesses I have to sell. My "Mr. Big" comment is nothing more then selling off of one of hundreds of criteria men and women apply in dating. Are you telling me some American women do not judge men by their financial stature? Is this what you are telling me Amy, because I said nothing more then this?

“The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need).”

Boy did my wife Karina get a bum deal; were going to be living in Colombia, so she doesn't even get that. Again Amy you categorize with out knowing. I can only assume from the way you like to throw accusations void of facts that your "research" will be just as slanted. Did it ever occur to you to know of what you speak before you speak? Let me stick you foot further in your mouth. While my situation is certainly atypical, your attack on me is personal so I will provide my personal story. My wife comes from a well off family. She was not a member of a Colombian marriage agency nor did she know such things existed. She led a privileged life. She was chauffeured to the University, she traveled to Europe, she owned property and was pampered her whole life. Her family has greater economic wealth then I do and did not want Karina to marry me. I told them Karina would not have a personal maid in the United States and that she would have to contribute with the family workload as most American women do. They told me I was crazy, Karina didn't even know how to cook white rice. But even against her families wishes Karina wanted to marry me. Her family pressured her by cutting off all her privileges anticipating that she would buckle under. When that did not work, they threw her out of the family. Here is a girl with a very large family, where family is everything, being evicted from her comfortable home and catered life with nothing. She was shunned from her family for hiding her romance and wanting to marry me. Yet you blindly conclude that she does not love me and I lured her to America because she lived an impoverished life of desperation. Amy I am curious, is it occurring to you to say maybe I should have my facts straight before I spit venom, because if it does then there is still salvation for you.

“So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty.”

Amy if you were to tell these women that they lead lives of poverty they would slap you in the face. The poverty of a woman's pocket is meaningless to an American man. The impoverishment of a woman soul, heart and values is not. Foreign women would consider you the poor person for having the latter. One of the many reasons they are drawn to American men is because we can recognize such difference, as do they.

Amy aren't these women adults free to make responsible adult decisions? I have women on my website over 50 years old, at what age is a woman able to make a decision on her own without you denouncing her ability to do so? My last engagement was with a couple both in their 40's is she another vulnerable, young woman Amy? Who should validate if these women are too young or vulnerable in deciding who and when to marry, you Amy? Or do you suggest we form a committee to make such a decision for them?

Earlier you said women look for positive qualities in a partner, but at the same time, you don't believe these women look for such qualities. What makes you think these women are materialistic oriented. Is it possible that you are the materialist and can't comprehend other women outlooks being different then yours?

“Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that?”

Amy I am very proud and happy in what I do. What is even more important is the happiness and joy I bring to the couples we bring together. It appears the only people who are not happy are people like you who enjoy intervening in other people's happiness. As I said to you before, you won't directly talk to these women because it would only corroborate what I have been telling you. They select men for marriage out of love for that man. You won't talk to the ones that have been married for 5 years, you won't talk to the ones that have been married for 10 years, and you won't talk to my Mom a foreign bride happily married to my dad for over 45 years. She raised five children and had a career working for one company for over 30 years. They now lead a life of world travel, family visits and volunteer work. No I do not think you will talk with such women. The thought of your false, shallow book-learned ideals being shattered by the realties of their happiness and real life perspective would be just too incongruent for your entrenched twisted views.

“You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S.”

Amy I am a typical American man. My possessions are average and everything I possess came from hard work and endeavor. No woman's eyes are going to pop-out by looking at my possessions. I would have to say you are the lucky one Amy. Very few places in the world can a woman say such reckless and unsubstantiated believes as you have without consequences. But you live in the United States, so you can promote unproductive agendas and extol feminist myths with no consequences for the damage that entails from your deceptive messages. How lucky you are. But you know what; your misguided view does not penetrate my well-being. You are correct in calling me lucky. I often tell my beautiful wife Karina how lucky I am to have met her, and you know what Amy… she tells me the same thing.

“You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship.”

Amy everything you have said is nothing more than an emotional diatribe you provide no content to your message. You are nothing more than a name caller. I can only imagine that if you had any physical strength you would also be a bully.

“News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real.”

I would agree. Why do you bring this up? The men do not pay for the woman and the women do not pay for the man.

“Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you.”

Amy I am a happily married man living a fun life. Any objective person would be able to see your considerations are clouded with hate and bigotry. You hate the idea of American men having alternatives to American women, and you have a superiority complex and a prejudice towards foreign women. A confidant woman would not be threatened by competition, but it appears to scare you. You hide your fear under the guise that you care about these women to the point that you fabricate their condition and what is in their hearts. If anyone should be ashamed Amy, it is you.

“Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these women face when they are stuck with losers like you.”

I feel very sorry for you Amy. Your self-inflicted pain comes from a vision of terror that does not exist. I hope it is not too late for you to feel better about yourself. I invite you to answer all the questions I have asked, and by that I do not mean respond. I mean actually answer my questions, surprise me with an exchange void of glaring lies and insulting attacks. Can you raise yourself to those standards? If what you believe is true, you should have no difficulty in presenting a logical, rightful position. Now if you don't mind, I have to eat dinner, burned rice.

Jamie
Engage the Exotic - Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

Author, Jamie Morrow, is the owner of International Introductions http://latin-wife.com a marriage agency specializing in Latin women. His expertise is in the mail order brides industry which has come under attack with pending legislation.

Wife Seeking Serenade

Fifteen Ways To Find A Wife

A fishing licence gives the holder the right to try to catch fish, equally a marriage licence gives the holders the right to suck it and see. To find the correct person to live with for the rest of your life can be a daunting task. Not only are you attempting to find your soul mate, but also probably the mother of your children. Fortunately the pressure on Henry V111 was far greater, he had six goes at getting it right. There's a difference in the way that single girls and bachelors choose their future partners. The girl might have a dozen boyfriends, none of whom seems to be like another or anything like the sort of fellow she eventually ends up marrying. But the young bachelor is inclined to select all his lady friends, including his wife, for their similar qualities, statistically he tends not to deviate from his perceived pattern.

1. Borrow A Kid

Women are suckers for men who appear to be good with children. Borrow a niece or nephew for the afternoon, and take them to the zoo or another suitable childish activity. If the child is still in diapers ask a woman you fancy to change them. However never take out a child you do not know well or one with whom you have not had time to build a rapport with.

2. Take Up Dancing Classes . As they say it takes "Two to tango", get out and learn to dance. It is not important what type of dancing you choose you will meet other women.

3. Borrow A Dog.

If you don't have a dog, borrow one and take it to your local park, or beach. Empathy with animals bring people together.

4. Go To A Wine Tasting Club

Telephone your local vitner, and see when he is next going to have a wine tasting, and relax and have a drink, and meet new friends.

5. Join A Self Help Group.

A great one is a self help group for one parent families. Of course this is only going to work if you have children already.

6. Join A Charitable Organisiation.

Nearly everyone has some sort of a charity near them, go to the library and ask them for a list of charities in your area. Then find one you have an interest in and phone them, and see if they need any volunteers. More women than men volunteer there time, and you will appear a caring person for giving up some time.

7. Join The Sierra Club

The Sierra Club is a conservation organisation. Whilst it is mainly in Canada and the U.S.A., it does hold International events. It has a "singles" section on it's homepage

8. Get To Know Yourself

Write a 1500 word essay on the type of person you are and how you got to be where you are. Write about three hundred pages of yourimage of a dream woman. Describe her physically, and see if there is a pattern. Do you like the great outdoors, and want a healthy fit woman, then go and join a Local walking group. If you want to listen to Opera, then join an operatic society.

9. Network

Widen your circle of friend, strike up conversations with strangers, and improve your circle of friends. You don't even have to talk with women here, make new male friends and you never know who will introduce you to your next girlfriend. It might be a grandmother introducing you to her granddaughter. The more you collect people the wider your circle of friends and interests will get.

10. Get To Know What Makes A Woman Tick.

Strike up conversations with women, and get to know what they are thinking. Women are always suckers for men who make them feel valued. This is one of the best tips I can give you.

11. Join An Aerobic or Yoga Class

The vast majority of the members' will be women. Get fit and have a laugh at the same time.

12. Take a Singles Cruise.

Women are much more into single cruises than men, so the chances are that you will definitely be outnumbered.

13. Go To The make Up Counter Od A Big Store . Women buy make up all the time, now I am not suggesting you start to wear mascara, but go and but a present for your mother/sister. Even if you have not got family then go and ask a woman you are interested in what would be her idea of a perfect gift for your fictitious sister.

14. Evening Classes

Go to your local adult centre for education and ask which classes are heavily subscribed with women. Yes I am aware that you are not going to be interested in finding ten ways to arrange a rose bowl, but their just might be something that grabs your eye.

15. Internet Personals

Find yourself a dating site or even better two, and register your profile. A great tip here is that if you pay for a year up front, then it can substantially reduce you costs.

Author, Roy Barker. More detailed information and recommended guides on finding that girl or wife can be found at http://www.datingxlence.com a site renowned for it's reviews on the top dating sites and only after they have screened out the others. These are accurately categorised for your ease of use. It's a free service.