Monday, December 01, 2008

Contact Lenses Online Ode

CONTACT LENS

Purchasing contact lenses online They want...
And many a day's been spent trying to sell...
Ordered ravioli from an Italian restaurant
Now, if they only had thoughts here. They're swell.

You to be a wise consumer if you buy,
Coz from this Rolling stone I can't get a decent view.
We stuck together, our love was... But why?
And we'll end up drinking more than a few.

contact lenses, a regulated product, on the Net,
Although some rain would be as good.
My that sheep has a titanic set.
I'd like to substitute dirt for food.

Over the phone or by mail. While such purchases
I thought that rash had cleared up for good!
If all else the blazing sun, it teases
Cold. Unworn lust is released like a flood.

Are often a convenient and economical way to get
Which dealt to her a blow like soft story foam.
It's easy enough to forget,
But they will get big if you eat apple gnome.

Contact lenses, Internet, phone, or mail orders require,
And found a smallish slug in my sock.
I know you like to look at what makes you perspire,
The door is ajar, and there's a squirrel in my dock.

Consumers to exercise some caution. The following questions
As a grain of sand is, I am surrounded by your fleshy thoughts.
With just a set for thourough gradation
Twas poetic justice that the kitty was caught.

And answers should help you take simple precautions,
I lost all colours but found the Net.
Or as the trembling foot on the precipice of fractions,
The camel I love is not here yet.

To make your Internet, phone or mail purchase safe
Gently licking the salt from a pork rind.
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.
Are you gone out of your mind?

And effective for you. What do I need!
Cause after the beating they all have to wear wigs.
Man is forced to eat greed,
Cow and horse is more and big.

When buying contact lenses on the Internet,
You'd make glass butterflies.
Begin with the afternoon sonnets
But they will get big if you eat apple pies.

By phone or by mail? Is my contact lens prescription current?
My contact lens in petulant prose.
Bury it all in twelve tonnes of cement!
Oops! I think you got some on your nose...

You should always have a current, correct prescription
And then they danced in the room of ball.
Whoever taught you thermometer description
But we don't know who says it all at all.

When you order contact lenses. If you have not...
Summer burns on, and my insanity grows.
This is the season, jelly I got,
Through all this pain my roots and rows.

Had a check-up in the last one to two years,
Cury stopped the fight...
I'm going now to my closet to pick something to wear.
It was a dark & stormy night.

You may have problems with your eyes that you are
Pondering wonder, what will my thoughts anneal?
Don't ask me because I really don't care!
And the morning sun rose as I shot it with a gun of oatmeal!

Not aware of, or your contact lenses may not correct
And looked for two more lungs to clog.
Be careful there is a list of side effects,
The fisherman farmer shot his dog.

Your vision well! The expiration date for your prescription
Till their furies come, those wizened old crones...
Prisons: obey your reflection
What would thought the feeling gone.

Is currently set by your state. Some require a one-year renewal,
The fabled garb of Occidental renown.
Mashed potatoes, where's the gravy baby?
They are swirling, swirling down :-(((

Some a two-year renewal, while other states leave it.
And then, born unto the world was John Holmes, and he was good...
If my life is so grand then you live it,
Though, for all that was known it was never understood!

To your doctor to decide... Never order lenses!!!
Eat my fresh father cole slaw
I watch as steam of cowshit rises -
Someone strikes a match and I think it's just law.

With a prescription that has expired. What does a valid
Pulling my trousers down gently in the mist.
Funny Clown, bunch a balloons,
so just live who you are search for your Christ.

Contact lens prescription include? This depends on the state
While dolphins tweeted the dephts of the cloud -
Who decided she'd like to levitate.
We shouted "Turn down the music. It's too damn loud!"

Where your doctor practices. State laws often define...
Although I don't know them, They stole my dog,
I poured upon it caramel, but decided on praline.
Or would said swine be best left in a fog?

A prescription’s requirements. In states without a legal definition,
For it was his damn toe, that did commit that sin
And profound cathartic realization!
The turkeys fear the day they'll be our din-din.

The prescribing doctor includes some minimum elements.
And finally...with you...I'll be...
And other lunchroom condiments -
Now let me see if I can flee.

The minimum elements usually include your name.
Wit? 'tis absurd! Smith's Stout - not light.
The sun sparkles, and sprinkles not the rain,
It is a bird, without the flight!

And as the doctor’s name along with the contact lens
I was raped by a butterfly in fields of liquid wheet.
The air grows cold, my oatmeal thickens,
And you think I have dirty feet!

Brand name and material. Also,
Impale myself on an elephant's tusk,
That white stuff in his yard we call snow,
The hat of my uncle is under the gland of my musk...

Lens measurements such as power, diameter...
Hello, My name's Earth. Have we met?
You might find it dosen't much matter,
My drawers were all soaking wet!

And base curve are included. More detailed prescriptions include
Spam, Spam you come in that can!
Swimming in the freshness of my solitude
By the powerful yet rich MEXIcans...

Directions for safe use such as wearing schedule,
And drank the foam of the deep blue sea.
If you like, I'll give you my mule,
He stops to listen to the wings of honey bees.

Whether lenses are for daily or extended wear,
When I heard about his widowed bride...
That there was some mosquito in his ear
But why the hell should you take it in stride?

The number of refills, whether lens material substitutions
smother the fish in blankets...
Linking wonderous worlds of free expression
He somehow had missed his bucket.

Are allowed and an expiration date. Some Internet,
Some booties and a poncho would help him feel better...
Life without excitement is like fishing without a net,
looking for any sign of shelter.

Sites ask for information about your doctor so that
Then they danced in the room of ball,
Puffy, turgid, he soon found Internet...
Left, and right, while peering down the dim, bleakly hall.

They may check the prescription with your doctor.
But hear what we'll find -
Gleam the wisdom of our ancestors...
You always used to be so kind.

State laws vary greatly concerning the kind of
Surely some revelation is at hand.
With all the life and death yet more Smirnoff,
With just a wave of my inscrutable wand,

Verification that is required. Internet sites should comply with
The smell of that cheese makes me gasp...
Have you lost your faith?
Rub the cheddar with a rasp!!!

Applicable State requirements concerning verification -
Let's go play some ping-pong...
Please don't crap on america lottery nation,
I take a hit on my hooka-bong!

Of prescriptions for contact lenses. Will I get
Kill all people who cant drink mystic...
I lost all colours but found the Net,
Good cockroaches do not go ballistic.

In legal trouble if I buy my contact lenses on the Internet,
As I sit upon the willow tree.
I'm working without a net,
The molecule? No! For all that is will not be.

By phone or by mail if I don’t have a copy of my prescription?
And drank the foam of the deep blue sea.
Shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?
Is to watch the chickens flee.

You won’t break any laws, but the company selling...
And I think this is all very gamble
So far, we have had slim dwelling,
Feelin' all a jumble.

You are prescription device as if it were...
It's the motion that counts, forget about length.
Damn the dust, get it outta here,
Fill me with engorged emotions and ungoddly strength.

An over-the-counter device. In legal terms,
Or perhaps the sound of a ringing bell.
I can't decide, straight as a board, or a good fluffy perm?
Now it's drowning in the mud at the bottom of the well.

This misbrands the device. Often, the company will
Born to be an athlete I now lay here lame,
I accordance with eye's fateful fills -
This lethal conflict was once just a game.

Say that they will check back with your doctor,
I would, perhaps, think a line to be too long, if I could...
When all else fails consult you mentor,
I'd rather be a rabbit than a snail, If I should...

To confirm the prescription and expiration date,
Said the burger to the bun as the chocolate milk shake cries.
And barrows of sprung fabric, scintillate!
You'd make butterflies...

However, that may not always happen. Some Internet
Walls have ears, and there are hands on the lock.
Wildebeasts are especially rampant on the pet,
Watches and the bearded clocks.

Sites will allow you to fill out a chart with
Hi, My name's Earth. Have we met?
But somewhat perverse to be in loan biz,
But when we walk under the sun, the rain isn't falling - yet.

The ordering information about your contact lenses,
A cur occurs when one barks a slur.
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical senses,
And a long utility spurted upwards with a blur.

And ask you to fill in your doctor’s name and phone number.
Who decided she'd like to levitate...
I didn't inhale the firey cucumber!
And barrows of sprung fabric, scintillate!

The site may or may not ask for an actual copy.
A phillips mp3 player stucks in my brain!
Things are not always as they appear
Too stupid to get out of the rain.

Of your prescription, but they should comply with
Such a marvelous egg, but it's no sink with out a spout,
Definatly a first verse to be dealt with
Shout about doubt, don't pout you lout.

Applicable State law concerning contact lens
Whose pistils are worn from the friction,
A scent beyond all feathered pens
However it will cause a nice fiction.

Prescription verification. Since individual states have
Kill it before it spreads.
And cuddled with a dog named Grave,
An evil, old man, perhaps even dead.

Different licensing requirements for optical dispensers,
Who decided she'd like to levitate.
Brown girl has a couple of brown beers
Till saucy sawdust dries your deserts desolate.

Enforcement of prescription device sales -
Not all well I will listen to all you wish to tell.
I don't like aesop's fables,
Barbershop is the salvation out of that well.

Has usually been left to State authorities.
God had checked them all,
A brain smells like apple pies,
Write your wild wisdom on the toilet wall.

What harm can be done if I don’t have regular
Who then tried to feel my swollen balloons?
Now who's bowling for dollars?
Please hurry up we've got to leave soon!

Check-ups with my doctor or I order lenses
Much the road feels about a tyre.
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical sense -
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.

Without a valid prescription? At your check-up,
Enemys been hunting grandmas again!
Reality is road leading anywhere and no up -
Too stupid to get out of the rain.

Your eye doctor will re-evaluate the fit of your contact lenses,
Words through which rage, love can play.
I watch as steam of cowshit rises,
As Lewis Carroll once did say...

And observe any changes in your cornea caused by your contact lenses.
Out of the window jump the plants...
I watch as steam of cowshit rises -
All I feel like doing is eating frozen curants.

You will benefit by having a correct, current prescription,
Marketing the time, but no looking back!
Shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?
He had to inject with a rusty tack.

And you may avoid serious problems, especially
I wandered into the land of the unknown.
I like to sail on open seas, I do it very carefully
And tossed every dwarf in the town.

If you wear your lenses on an extended or overnight schedule.
Yet his expression was oblivious and blank,
If you like, i'll give you my mule,
A wild monkey spank.

Though infections of the cornea are rare,
The pseudo-taco was very bland.
But since I live on heaven I really don't care;
I said farewell and waved my sullied hand.

Severe cases can cause loss of vision and even blindness.
Aren't you sick of reading???
How cute he is in that dress
Dancing and singing...

During regularly scheduled visits, your eye doctor looks.
Poetry is an art not the midless trash you peddle,
President psyches all of us out returning all his books,
Handle the bike oiled handle.

For irregularities that, if left untreated, may lead.
We lie in bed with a girl named Zen
So much in my head,
Seas of Purple, Darkness of Men.

Too severe problems. These irregularities often have no
God, Oh God, what do you do ?
Cold lives in me knows!
He wanted to listen me but demon has grew.

Symptoms and you may be totally unaware of them.
And many a day's been spent trying to sell,
And you don't appreciate them,
Considering all this side of hell.

Contact lens wear causes many changes to cells
At the outspace bionic war commander.
Or perhaps the sound of a ringing bell
While the cow cleaned her udders.

And tissues of the eye, and sometimes wearing contact lenses
The Ancient Mariner stood nearby, grumbling...
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical sense
As if elephant could sing gambling!

Can damage the cornea (the clear window of the eye)
Searching still seeking those of my kind.
Even the room with big-sized flyes,
Perchance behind the window blind.

Even if you are currently experiencing no problems,
The loathsome axe will cut down his tree.
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere,
To be or not to be...

The lenses may be causing damage to your eyes.
And though I don't remember when I could not mask the pain,
Speculum reflection from serpent mice -
It can control his brain...

Regular check-ups will reduce the likelihood,
I'm sick of you already -
Oh God this poem's getting good...
she is real real shady.

Of damage going undetected. Contact lenses that are not
A man of most omni-sophic stature.
For our own hands seldom rot,
Any problem, sane or obscure...

Properly fitted by an eye doctor might not work well,
Imagining the hero toffing in the lane,
Not all well I will listen to all you wish to tell
But no one ever is to blame.

Or even worse, may harm your eyes.
Poked my eye out with a dipstick
So bird is a why so clouds like guys.
Oh, what a trick!

Ask your eye doctor how often to have a check-up.
And turned the fatted logs -
Funny Clown, bunch of pickups
Went swimming in the bog.

Will regular check-ups help prevent me from
I wish for the toys of my youth,
Things are not always as in Sodom
With a dozen roses in it's mouth.

Having problems with my contact lenses?
Staggering I reached hastily for the...
My heart lusts for it in my soul fences,
Our baubles, our unnecessary clothes.

Anyone wearing contact lenses runs an increased
The souls of men go tumbling down, fumbling down.
A feeling that somewhere there's something I've missed
Goat entrails are brown.

Risk of corneal infection. Regular check-ups will help
Through the Fjords of Norway.
The poodle broke wind and let out a yelp,
The horses whickered from where they lay...

Reduce your chances of having a problem. At your check-up,
Cover 'em with honey, and let the ants feast.
Reality leading anywhere but no up
Sending the suckling pig to town with blast.

Your doctor may find something that requires refitting,
Wander'd the desert and baked bread without leven?
So it can keep beating
Seems better than getting enemy number seven.

With a new lens or requires modifying your wearing schedule.
But the spirit shed has left old phantasms.
Pay the full price if you play by your rule
Wiggling around in a wild spasm.

What can I do to avoid serious problems?
Ripe juicy peaches and dripping wet plums!
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere :-(((
Until thy noticed hanging from thine gums.

With my contact lenses? Ask your eye doctor
Just as my confidence and my hair have eroded.
Gleam the wisdom of our ancestors
For as the Earth turned the hours faded.

How often you should have a check-up and see
The canine's upper lip did curl asunder.
Never mind the peaches momma, never mind the tree!
Throw them in the fire to smolder.

The doctor according to the recommended schedule
Monkeys jackals compels me to hack.
Pay the full price if you play by your rule
With a week's worth of smack.

You run a greater risk of developing serious eye problems.
I bequeath a chunk of my heart muscle to you.
Things are not always as they appear -
Fluorescent ties give me the blues.

Such as infection if you wear lenses overnight.
And wish thee never lose thy yearning for fruit loops
So save my soul, you creature of the night.
Although hapless children chewed hula-hoops.

Order your contact lenses from a supplier you are familiar -
Feelin' all a jumble.
Things are not always as they appear
Showing how much they all are unstable.

With and know is reliable. Contact lenses are often more complex.
There's nothing worse than a squishy bun.
Things are not always as in Forex -
Only to realize not watching is more fun.

Than they appear... Request the manufacturer’s written patient
And to deny that is to defame.
Illegally from the United States government,
I talk and talk about the government just the same.

Information for your contact lenses. It will give you important risk
For my lips are truly broken.
The floorboards in here are somewhat fragilisk,
Bloody candle if I'm not mistaken.

Benefit information, as well as instructions for use.
Just don't sit up and 'net all friggin' night!
And when I did, he called me a louse!
And damn, in whose fist, my left lung was caught.

Beware of attempts to substitute a different brand
When by shapes my words are known, I try...
As I stood with you hand in hand
Eggs are hard to fry...

Than you presently have. While this may be acceptable
As written rains and spoken snows.
A loofah brush sits upon my worktable
Gliding along in the canoe of life, row by row.

In some situations, there are differences in the water content
As a grain of sand is to a gizzard, I am surrounded by thoughts.
And away we went...
Wet birds dont fly at night.

And shape between different brands. The correct choice
Is the cryng Earth, its weeping shores.
I can not decide; I cannot suffer voice
Venturing out to find what was in store!

Of which lens is right for you should only be made based
We must root out the bastard commie finks
Getting the most of life, that is leased.
I will pull my finger when my eye blinks.

On examination by your doctor, not over the phone
At times like these I find a turtle very handy.
Bakes upon! Bakes upon stones
And I suck it like candy.

Carefully check to make sure the company gives you
While yodeling antelope my grandparents flaunt.
Since you ran away with up your rear end his shoe!
Hey, it all counts.

The exact brand, lens name, power, sphere, cylinder,
And kick stealthy strokes like the flemmish,
And awoke with heads like thunder
What sorrow do I feal for the naked fish.

If any, axis, if any, diameter, base curve, and
Be careful, I hate cuts.
And bury them up to their necks in sand
Where no one will laugh at my big gut.

Peripheral curves, if any. If you think you have gotten
And yet the sun shineth down for all eternity.
It's better to be welcome then to be forgotten
In its fraility.

An incorrect lens, check with your eye doctor -
All the ghosts have begun humming.
When all else fails consult Earth daughter
Far better than my drumming.

Don’t accept a substitution unless your doctor approves it.
We shouted "Turn down the music. It's too damn loud!"
You may want to get me my contact lense if you see it
While dolphins tweeted the dephts of the cloud.

Where can I report problems that I have
But oh, how this strength in me truly lies.
I read the lines in autumn leaves.
Why did Old Yeller have to die?

With my contact lenses? You can report
I fondled my hamster with glee.
Next heavenly port
The loathsome axe will cut down his tree.

A serious eye problem associated with your contact lenses,
Let your tongue wander the subtle darkened folds.
By lavashing you with gifts not involving Spam or mooses
At skies whose dreams they cannot hold

With MedWatch reporting form. Also, contact your
Cheeses about in the firmament flound.
I finally was able to get out some semblance around four
So overly abound

Health professional for medical advice. You can report
And thus triumphed in the life you chose.
Next heavenly port,
The salt and juice are loose.

Problems involving contact lens sales
Tick tock meowed the clock.
Or rather lumpy tables
She knows he comes from only the finest stock.

If you do not get the exact lenses that you ordered,
Lifting Ye head from betwixed her thighs.
My toast it was buttered
Or the otters will sigh.

You should report the problem directly
He thought, "This would make a great story to tell!"
My produce watches defiantly
I travel, forseeing the need to spell.

To the company that supplied them.
Lordy, dear, where have you gone?
I turned green and spewed half chicken files at chem.
The idiots patrol the borders of the bone.

Considerations To Make When Purchasing Contact Lenses Online

The FDA wants you to be a wise consumer if you buy contact lenses, an FDA-regulated product, on the Internet, over the phone or by mail. While such purchases are often a convenient and economical way to get lenses, Internet, phone, or mail orders require consumers to exercise some caution. The following questions and answers should help you take simple precautions to make your Internet, phone or mail purchase safe and effective for you.

What do I need to consider when buying contact lenses on the Internet, by phone or by mail?

Is my contact lens prescription current? You should always have a current, correct prescription when you order contact lenses.

If you have not had a check-up in the last one to two years, you may have problems with your eyes that you are not aware of, or your contact lenses may not correct your vision well.

The expiration date for your prescription is currently set by your state. Some require a one-year renewal, some a two-year renewal, while other states leave it to your doctor to decide.

Never order lenses with a prescription that has expired.

What does a valid contact lens prescription include?

This depends on the state where your doctor practices. State laws often define a prescription’s requirements. In states without a legal definition, the prescribing doctor includes some minimum elements.

The minimum elements usually include your name and the doctor’s name along with the contact lens brand name and material. Also, lens measurements such as power, diameter and base curve are included.

More detailed prescriptions will include directions for safe use such as wearing schedule, whether lenses are for daily or extended wear, the number of refills, whether lens material substitutions are allowed and an expiration date.

Some Internet sites ask for information about your doctor so that they may check the prescription with your doctor. State laws vary greatly concerning the kind of verification that is required. Internet sites should comply with applicable State requirements concerning verification of prescriptions for contact lenses.

Will I get in legal trouble if I buy my contact lenses on the Internet, by phone or by mail if I don’t have a copy of my prescription?

You won’t break any laws, but the company is selling you a prescription device as if it were an over-the-counter device. In legal terms, this misbrands the device. Often, the company will say that they will check back with your doctor to confirm the prescription and expiration date; however, that may not always happen.

Some Internet sites will allow you to fill out a chart with the ordering information about your contact lenses and ask you to fill in your doctor’s name and phone number. The site may or may not ask for an actual copy of your prescription, but they should comply with applicable State law concerning contact lens prescription verification.

Since individual states have different licensing requirements for optical dispensers, enforcement of prescription device sales has usually been left to State authorities.

What harm can be done if I don’t have regular check-ups with my doctor or I order lenses without a valid prescription?

At your check-up, your eye doctor will re-evaluate the fit of your contact lenses and observe any changes in your cornea caused by your lenses. You will benefit by having a correct, current prescription and you may avoid serious problems, especially if you wear your lenses on an extended or overnight schedule.

Though infections of the cornea are rare, severe cases can cause loss of vision and even blindness. During regularly scheduled visits, your eye doctor looks for irregularities that, if left untreated, may lead to severe problems. These irregularities often have no symptoms and you may be totally unaware of them.

Contact lens wear causes many changes to cells and tissues of the eye, and sometimes wearing contact lenses can damage the cornea (the clear window of the eye). Even if you are currently experiencing no problems, the lenses may be causing damage to your eyes. Regular check-ups will reduce the likelihood of damage going undetected.

Contact lenses that are not properly fitted by an eye doctor might not work well, or even worse, may harm your eyes.

Ask your eye doctor how often to have a check-up.

Will regular check-ups help prevent me from having problems with my contact lenses?

Anyone wearing contact lenses runs an increased risk of corneal infection. Regular check-ups will help reduce your chances of having a problem. At your check-up, your doctor may find something that requires refitting with a new lens or requires modifying your wearing schedule.

What can I do to avoid serious problems with my contact lenses?

Ask your eye doctor how often you should have a check-up and see the doctor according to the recommended schedule.

You run a greater risk of developing serious eye problems such as infection if you wear lenses overnight.

Order your contact lenses from a supplier you are familiar with and know is reliable. Contact lenses are often more complex than they appear.

Request the manufacturer’s written patient information for your contact lenses. It will give you important risk/benefit information, as well as instructions for use.

Beware of attempts to substitute a different brand than you presently have. While this may be acceptable in some situations, there are differences in the water content and shape between different brands. The correct choice of which lens is right for you should only be made based on examination by your doctor, not over the phone.

Carefully check to make sure the company gives you: the exact brand, lens name, power (sphere, cylinder, if any, axis, if any), diameter, base curve, and peripheral curves, if any.

If you think you have gotten an incorrect lens, check with your eye doctor. Don’t accept a substitution unless your doctor approves it.

Where can I report problems that I have with my contact lenses?

You can report a serious eye problem associated with your contact lenses with FDA’s MedWatch reporting form at: http://www.fda.gov/medwatch. Also, contact your health professional for medical advice.

You can report problems involving contact lens sales by Web sites by sending e-mail to webcomplaints@ora.fda.gov.

If you do not get the exact lenses that you ordered, you should report the problem directly to the company that supplied them.

Wesley Atkins is the owner of 'Contact Lenses Advisor' a website dedicated to advising consumers about buying contact lenses safely online. You can visit his website at http://www.contact-lenses-advisor.com.

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