Monday, August 20, 2007

Easter Party Opus

Easter Party Ideas

Easter marks the start of spring and is a sacred holiday for Christians throughout the world as it signifies when Jesus Christ was resurrected from the grave to live again. But where did the Easter bunny and eggs fit into the Easter tradition?

The rabbit and eggs were actually symbols of fertility, immortality and new life to commemorate Christ's resurrection. In Germany, colored eggs were left in children's baskets and the custom was brought to America with German immigrants in the later 19th century.

Easter can be a fun time of year to celebrate the renewed growth of spring no-matter what religious beliefs you may have. Here are some idea's to use for an Easter celebration party.


Turn a recycled white sheet into a spectacular Easter tablecloth by sponge painting bunnies, baskets and eggs in bright spring colors. Be sure to use textile paints so the tablecloth can be washed and used another year. Fabric paints are also available in squeeze applicators with glitter colors for decorating the sponged Easter eggs. Paint will need to dry at least 24 hours prior to use.

Make a festive napkin ring by threading a sewing needle with narrow elastic thread and stringing jelly beans onto it. You may need to put a little vegetable oil on the needle to help it slide threw the candy. Tie off the ends to form a circle and slide it over the rolled napkins for a cute way to dress up the table. Add a solid colored doily under the plates for a festive way to dress up the table.

You can serve creamy lemon pie or light strawberry custard, strawberry almond pastry or let the kids decorate personalized tulip cookies. The menu options are endless but I suggest you keep the choices light and festive. Tableware does not need to match but keep to a color theme of bright spring colors or soft pastels.


Little girls love making their own Easter bonnets. Cut a large 12 1/2" circle out of heavy artist poster board using a compass as your guide. Attach a wide satin ribbon to the middle of the circle with hot glue, leaving long trailing tails to tie the bonnet on. Have lots of decorative options available for embellishing the hats. Kids can make flowers colored miniature cupcake baking cups or doilies. You can also use adhesive dots, paint, glitter, pleated paper ribbon, lace reminates or tulle to make decorate the bonnets.

Each child can make their own gingham Easter bunny or duck out of fabric, yarn and cotton batting or fiberfill. Have the shape of the animals pre-cut for the children and place the right sides of the fabric out. Let the kids stitch yarn around the edge of the shape leaving a 1" opening to stuff the cotton filling. An adult can blind stitch the hole closed and help glue on buttons for the eyes and pom-poms for the nose. Use pinking sheers to finish the edges.

Adults can also enjoy a Easter garden party. Invite friends to bring perennials for their gardens to exchange with other plants. Provide each guest with labels, paper bags or plastic nursery containers. Let them take home the same amount of plants that they brought getting an affordable start on beautiful blooms.

Author Rachel Webb designs 100% Magnetic Fridge Calendars that write-on/wipe-off, an affordable way to organize your schedule!

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Carrier Car Seat Verse

Make Lemonaid from a Lemon

About 2 months ago my family grew by one more. When we had our baby, the reality that we could no longer fit our family into a car hit us. Our back seat simply would not fit 2 carseats and a carrier car seat. So off the the dealership we went to buy a mini-van.

After browsing several dealerships in one day. I found two vans that I liked at two different dealerships. Here is how I got a van that is practically brand new, though the year of the van is 1996, for $8,999.00. The best part about it is, you can do it too!

First, my husband and I went to 3 different dealerships. We found three vans that we loved. at the last dealership, I fell in love with a particular van. The van was marked at $13,995. I mentioned to the salesperson that there was a van that was practically identical at the dealership right across the street that was priced at only $9,999. I told my husband that maybe we should just go across the street and see about getting that one. I did this intentionally right in front of the salesman loud enough so that he could hear me. Within two seconds, maybe less, he chimed in with, "Let me talk to my sales manager and see what we can do for you." I agreed. I was expected him to come back with a price that matched the dealership across the street. To my amazement, he came back with a price of $8,999! That was a full $5,000 LESS that the original price with NO trade-in and nothing down! We jumped on that offer and signed the contract within 45 minutes. We did insist that they give us a 30 day dealer warranty with no deductible. They agreed.

Being the "savvy shopper" that I am, I immediately drove my new van off the lot and took it to my father, a mechanic. He gave the car a good evalutaion and gave me a list of everything that was wrong with it. On my way home that night, my service engine light came on, six hours after I signed the contract. To say I was upset would be an understatement!

I got up the next morning and purposely got myself all worked up and ready for battle. I waited for one hour after the dealer opened then drove my new van back to the dealership. The trick here is to not call ahead of time and go to the dealership at a busy time, usually on the weekends.

One thing that dealers count on you not knowing is that, by law, you have a 72-hour cooling off period to take any major purchase back to where you got it and return it for no reason. So knowing this, I went back. As soon as I pulled into the lot, I was approached by another salesman. His first reaction to me was to ask me how I was. I replied with a simple, "Not good!" He asked what was the matter and I told him and gave him a list of everything that was wrong, including a cupholder being missing. I let him know that no matter how much I liked the van, I was had no reservations about giving it back, after all, I was within my legal limit.

He immediately went back and got the sales manager, I vented to him, in front of other customers. He took back my keys and put my van into the shop immediately to save face in front of the other customers. he gave us a loaner van to use in the mean time.

After two days, I still didn't have my van back, so I called the edalership and told them that unless I could get another 72 hour cooling off period, he could keep my van. I was obviously not going to be stuck with a van that I only had for 6 hours! Needless to say, I got my time extended.

My van was returned to me that day. My cooling off period was extended, I had the 30 dealer warranty and the repairs were made. Curious as to what needed to be fixed? He is the list: the catalytic converter, several sensors, the transmission, the alignment was out, two tires were worn, it needed an oil change, the gas cap was missing and my cup holder was broken. By the time my repairs were done, my $8,999 van was worth a total of $15, 127! I got a practically new van after all the work was done! Then 2 days before the dealer warranty was up, I took it back in and got a new belt in the motor. I got a lemon and made lemonaide, you can too!

Hint: Check out to see if your vehicle has been in an accident or anything else has been done to it. Most dealerships subscribe to this service so you should get it for free. If they dont subscribe, ask if they have an internet access you can use to check yourself, for free, while at the dealership.

Debra Vaughn is a stay-at-home mother to 3 young girls. She is a freelance writer in her spare time. Debra Vaughn also edits and publishes The Family Budgeteer Bi-Weekly Online, including a FREE E-book and Newsletter which can be found at

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Exam Techniques Ode

Beat Your Examiners with Exam Techniques

Are exam techniques better than knowledge?

Half a century ago I learned about exam techniques. At that time I was snowed under with study, and my headmaster said that I had as much chance as the Man in the Moon of passing three Ordinary level GCE subjects.

He was right at that time! It didn't matter how much study I did, term exam questions were always about stuff I hadn't studied.

Then I learned that you perform best in an exam if you know more about exams rather than about the subject of the exam.

I liked that.

Using Exam Techniques

So I studied exam techniques. What were the results? I passed eleven GCE ordinary level subjects.

When artistic talent was handed out, my brother got it all, and there was none left for me. I panic every time I am asked to do a stick-drawing.

However in the GCE exam, my brother set out to do good art, and I used exam techniques to get good marks. To my great glee I got a better pass mark than my brother did. I was sure that proved that exams are unfair, but remained very smug.

Multiple Choice

My wife had a multiple-choice paper on a subject about which I knew nothing. I tried the exam techniques in my book. My wife assured me that I would have passed - without knowing anything about it.

Then came a time that I studied maths again, and I was hopelessly at sea. I learned maths where the best methods were those that worked - fast. New maths had been introduced since I was at college. Now the explanations were just nonsense to me. However when the exam came around, it was another multiple choice test, and I passed!

We've learned nothing

My daughter's final exams were coming. I searched libraries for the most modern examination techniques, and received a great shock. All the books still advised lots of hard work. There was no mention of exam techniques at all.

They mentioned mnemonic techniques to help me remember, but I'd been using them since the middle of last century and knew how they could let me down.

The day before a university exam I decided that I would probably get a question about the life cycle of Fasciola hepatica. So I used a mnemonic technique to memorise every number in the complicated life cycle.

Next day the expected question appeared, and I remembered every number - BUT - I had forgotten the units. It was no use remembering the number 3 if I didn't know if it was three hours, or three days, or three weeks, or three months, or three years. So I couldn't answer the question. Fortunately examination techniques got me through the exam.

Birth of Exam Mastery

I wrote a book about how to pass exams to help my daughter. Unfortunately she thought that she knew everything... and didn't bother to read the book... and failed her exams. Recently I updated the book to take the internet into account.

The arithmetic of success

Suppose you're taking an essay exam with five questions. You know you can give good answers for three questions, but think that you know nothing about the rest. I've seen students walk out of essay exams in that situation - they hadn't studied exam technique.

Your teacher has brainwashed you by punishing anybody who wrote a three line essay for homework. But two essays of three lines each could take you from failure to a pass mark. My book shows what to put into these few lines, but think of the arithmetic.

You got 45 marks out of 60 for your three good questions. The pass mark is 47%. You get one mark out of 20 for each of the remaining two answers. You have a pass mark. That is better than walking out of the exam in a panic - isn't it?

In fact I usually got about 75% by using exam techniques. Oh, they aren't magic. I failed an occasional exam, but I passed many exams that I didn't deserve to pass, especially using crafty essays.

Ian McAllister - You too could write crafty essays to beat the examiner... and more. Get your free report here:

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Web Content Poem

The Disintermediation of Content

Are content brokers - publishers, distributors, and record companies - a thing of the past?

In one word: disintermediation.

The gradual removal of layers of content brokering and intermediation - mainly in manufacturing marketing - is the continuation of a long term trend. Consider music for instance. Streaming audio on the internet ("soft radio"), or downloadable MP3 files may render the CD obsolete - but they were preceded by radio music broadcasts. But the novelty is that the Internet provides a venue for the marketing of niche products and reduces the barriers to entry previously imposed by the need to invest in costly "branding" campaigns and manufacturing and distribution activities.

This trend is also likely to restore the balance between artists and the commercial exploiters of their products. The very definition of "artist" will expand to encompass all creative people. One will seek to distinguish oneself, to "brand" oneself and to auction one's services, ideas, products, designs, experience, physique, or biography, etc. directly to end-users and consumers. This is a return to pre-industrial times when artisans ruled the economic scene. Work stability will suffer and work mobility will increase in a landscape of shifting allegiances, head hunting, remote collaboration, and similar labour market trends.

But distributors, publishers, and record companies are not going to vanish. They are going to metamorphose. This is because they fulfil a few functions and provide a few services whose importance is only enhanced by the "free for all" Internet culture.

Content intermediaries grade content and separate the qualitative from the ephemeral and the atrocious. The deluge of self-published and vanity published e-books, music tracks and art works has generated few masterpieces and a lot of trash. The absence of judicious filtering has unjustly given a bad name to whole segments of the industry (e.g., small, or web-based publishers). Consumers - inundated, disappointed and exhausted - will pay a premium for content rating services. Though driven by crass commercial considerations, most publishers and record companies do apply certain quality standards routinely and thus are positioned to provide these rating services reliably.

Content brokers are relationship managers. Consider distributors: they provide instant access to centralized, continuously updated, "addressbooks" of clients (stores, consumers, media, etc.). This reduces the time to market and increases efficiency. It alters revenue models very substantially. Content creators can thus concentrate on what they do best: content creation, and reduce their overhead by outsourcing the functions of distribution and relationships management. The existence of central "relationship ledgers" yields synergies which can be applied to all the clients of the distributor. The distributor provides a single address that content re-sellers converge on and feed off. Distributors, publishers and record companies also provide logistical support: warehousing, consolidated sales reporting and transaction auditing, and a single, periodic payment.

Yet, having said all that, content intermediaries still over-charge their clients (the content creators) for their services. This is especially true in an age of just-in-time inventory and digital distribution. Network effects mean that content brokers have to invest much less in marketing, branding and advertising once a product's first mover advantage is established. Economic laws of increasing, rather than diminishing, returns mean that every additional unit sold yields a HIGHER profit - rather than a declining one. The pie is getting bigger.

Hence, the meteoric increase in royalties publishers pay authors from sales of the electronic versions of their work (anywhere from Random House's 35% to 50% paid by smaller publishers). As this tectonic shift reverberates through the whole distribution chain, retail outlets are beginning to transact directly with content creators. The borders between the types of intermediaries are blurred. Barnes and Noble (the American bookstores chain) has, in effect, become a publisher. Many publishers have virtual storefronts. Many authors sell directly to their readers, acting as publishers. The introduction of "book ATMs" - POD (Print On Demand) machines, which will print every conceivable title in minutes, on the spot, in "book kiosks" - will give rise to a host of new intermediaries. Intermediation is not gone. It is here to stay because it is sorely needed. But it is in a state of flux. Old maxims break down. New modes of operation emerge. Functions are amalgamated, outsourced, dispensed with, or created from scratch. It is an exciting scene, full with opportunities.

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" and "After the Rain - How the West Lost the East". He is a columnist in "Central Europe Review", United Press International (UPI) and and the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory, Suite101 and Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government of Macedonia. His web site:

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Early Retirement Serenade

Thinking About Early Retirement? 10-Minute Quiz Determines Your Readiness

If you've delayed planning for retirement because it makes you feel a) old or b) financially inept, think again. With a little foresight, you could be out there enjoying life like other people -- maybe even before you reach the so-called "retirement age."

Like many people in the prime of life, it's not unusual to think of retirement as such a distant idea that you avoid saving for it until next week, next year, next job. After all, who's got time to think about the "R" word? In reality, it's never too late, or too early, to start planning for retirement.

Retirement used to be defined as what a person was no longer doing. More and more, however, retirement has come to mean what a person is can do. Choosing a second career. Traveling to see the world. Volunteering in the community. Taking on a new hobby. Taking care of grandchildren.

If Mondays find you heading for the highway to work, but you'd rather be heading for the golf course to play, it might be time to consider your financial future -- even if you're among the three out of four Americans who hate financial planning.

"You don't need to be a financial wizard to start thinking about early retirement," says Randy Schuldt, vice president with, a Web site devoted to the 75 percent of Americans who hate financial planning. "With some simple steps, you can take control of your financial future before it starts controlling your dreams."

To help better understand what's involved in retirement planning, has developed a 10-minute quiz -- an early retirement calculator of sorts -- that will help determine your state of readiness. If your score points to a lifetime of enduring the daily grind, a visit to or a meeting with a financial planner might help perk up your financial future.

IHateFinancialPlanning.Com Early Retirement Readiness Calculator

1. I dream about my retirement
a. All of the time
b. Only when work drives me nuts
c. None of the time

2. I know exactly what I want to do when I retire
a. Yes -- in fact I've identified the date
b. Too many choices to decide
c. No -- I'll be too old anyway

3. IRA stands for
a. Individual Retirement Account
b. Irish Republican Army
c. IRA -- you mean my cousin Ira?

4. I regularly contribute to my 401(k) at work
At the maximum amount of money allowed
As much as I can afford

5. I expect my health insurance costs to decrease as I get older
a. False
b. I'm not planning on getting older
c. True

6. If I pay off my mortgage before I retire I will be able to
a. Pocket up to $250,000 in tax-free profit on the sale of my home
b. Barely scrape by on my other bills
c. Guffaw loudly because only rich people can afford to do that

7. I can phase into retirement if I
a. Plan ahead for big ticket items that might tempt me to draw on investments too soon
b. Take a one month leave from my current job to test the waters
c. Just up and quit

8. The cost of inflation
a. Is expected to rise from 2 to 4 percent per year
b. Is always changing
c. Will have no effect on retirement plans

9. The nation's Social Security program
a. Will eventually run out of money
b. Will cover only some of my retirement costs
c. Will always be there for me, just like it was for my parents

10. Disability income insurance is
a. A good idea, since there's a 42 percent chance I'll become disabled between the ages of 30 and 50
b. Something you should buy if you have a disability
c. Only for old people

11. A fixed-rate annuity is
a. A contract with a life insurance company designed to provide for a regular stream of payments at a later date
b. Too complicated for me to worry about
c. Considered to be a risky investment

12. The key to early retirement is
a. Having a retirement goal
b. Having a job with a good retirement plan
c. Winning the lottery


Give yourself 3 points for every "A" answer; 2 points for every "B" answer; 1 point for every "C" answer.

36 points: Kiss work goodbye? You may be headed straight for the beach. We'd tell you to pack suntan lotion for when you leave, but then, you've probably already planned that, too.

25 to 35 or more points: So near, yet so far. While you may have a good understanding of what a retirement plan needs to include, it's time to put your ideas into action. Check out for some easy to understand, non-intimidating ways to fill the gaps of your plan.

16 to 24 points: Minimum effort may not get you where you want to go. Your plans could still use some fleshing out. You may want to consider talking with a professional to help solidify your dreams. Keep your retirement goals in mind and get a financial plan that will keep you headed in the right direction.

12 to 15 points: Early retirement, or any kind of retirement, might not be in your future. Get thee to a financial professional! If the mere thought of it makes you queasy, at least do this: mark your calendar for Feb. 3-10. That's the official celebration of I Hate Financial Planning Awareness Week, a week dedicated to helping people who hate financial planning learn how to deal with money matters and how to manage and invest money. You'll find more information and ways to cope at It even has an on-line panic button that you can push to get out your financial frustrations.

Courtesy ARA Content,

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Scooters Way Opus

Hard Economic Times, Expensive Gas & Oil Prices -- No Problem

Scooters Offer A New Inexpensive, Ecologically Friendly Way to Travel

People of all ages are zipping around towns and cities on scooters these days. Back in the early 1960's, scooters were considered merely a toy for boys to get around their immediate neighborhoods before they had a license. Yet today, scooters have transcended the sexual divide and are now being used as a serious form of transportation. With reasonable pricing, members of all economic classes -- from school children to ecologically minded commuters to Wall Street types who don't have time to wave down a cab at rush hour -- are new scooter converts. There have even been reports of companies purchasing scooters for their workforce to cut down on the time it takes to walk between departments!

As some people are not content with using their own muscle for propulsion, a whole new motorized scooter breed has materialized. One company has capitalized on this trend and has been selling an electric powered scooter called the Zappy in the U.S. and abroad. Able to reach cruising speeds of 13 miles per hour for up to 20 miles - the scooter has reached a new level as a worthy contender among transportation choices.

But are they a fad? Good question. Considering recent research performed by Business Communications Co. reveals that the U.S. electric vehicle market will grow at a rate of 27 percent through 2005, when it is estimated to become a $7 billion dollar industry -- it's doubtful. ZapWorld, a Nasdaq publicly traded company (ticker ZAPP) and the maker of Zappy, has seen their sales of electric vehicles in 1999 reach $6.5 million and the company's 2000 sales doubled, coming close to $13 million.

ZAP, which stands for "Zero Air Pollution," has created a complete line of electric and inline scooters, bicycles, motorcycles and electric-powered water propulsion products. Contributing to hot sales is the fact that towns in Colorado and California offer $250 rebates to buyers of electric powered vehicles, which makes the total cost of owning your own electric scooter quite reasonable.

The best thing about electric-powered products is that they provide personal transportation without the noise and pollution of gasoline-powered vehicles. They are not going to completely replace cars, of course, but they are starting to change the way people get around in cities, in suburbs and rural areas.

Scooters continue to sell briskly worldwide, not only for use by school children, but also for high school and college students, young adults, ecologically minded commuters and executives. Seniors, too, are a growing segment that wants an inexpensive, safe, ecologically friendly, fun way to go further faster.

For more information, or to order your EV today, visit

Courtesy ARA Content,

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Better Ad Headings Verse

Impulse Writing for Better Ad Headings

Writing headlines for your ads is the most important part of your online presence.

When posting your ad to classified sites, directories, message boards, newsgroups or mailing lists, the only part of your ad that is showing is the heading.

So, what your heading says will make the difference between your ad being read or being..................

....................passed right on by!

The overall importance of headings, as a means of bringing in targeted traffic to your site, is simpy immense.

But, don't let that stop you from writing attention getting headings.

These steps will allow you to write heading that the average surfer will want to see.

Sit down and really go over what you're trying to sell. Look at every word on every page of the site. If you're selling an ebook, read it. If it's for software or service, use it. Learn everything you can about what you're selling.

Grab a sheet of paper and just start writing down all the phrases that can describe the product you are trying to sell. The very first things that pop into your mind.

Write down everything that just pops in. Not what you have to think about, but the phrases, words or benefits associated with that product, that enter your thinking with no effort. Write them down until you have to sit there and think of something else.

Stop right there. Go over what you just wrote. If more just happen to pop in your head again, write it down.

Since you have just looked over the product and website associated with it, everything that you wrote down is what any potential customer will also remember.

These are all the phrases and benefits that stick out and make people buy the product. If your emotions have been stirred (excitement, passion, happiness or any impulsive feelings that make you really want the product), then these are the same emotions that you have just written down.

I bet if you go over your sheet of paper you will find some great headings. If not, then you were thinking way to hard!

Impulse buying is one of the ways that we, as Internet Marketers, get people to buy our products or use our services.

So why not use those impulsive feeling in your ads?

Randy Lever is the owner of the Expertly picked "Complete Internet Marketing Package" - Marketing Profit. Everything you need to know about building a successful Online Business is in Marketing Profit!

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Narcissists And Women Ode

Narcissists And Women

Question: Do narcissists hate women?

Answer: Narcissists abhor and dread getting emotionally intimate and they regard sex as a maintenance chore, something they have to do in order to keep their source of secondary supply.

Moreover, many narcissists tend to engage in FRUSTRATING behaviours towards women. They will refrain from having sex with them, tease them and then leave them, resist flirtatious and seductive behaviours and so on. Often, they will invoke the existence of a girlfriend/fiancée/spouse (or boyfriend/etc. - male and female are interchangeable in my texts) as the "reason" why they cannot have sex/develop a relationship. But this is not out of loyalty and fidelity in the empathic and loving sense. This is because they wish (and often succeed) to sadistically frustrate the interested party.


This pertains ONLY to cerebral narcissists. NOT to somatic narcissists and HPDs (Histrionic Personality Disorder) who use their BODY, sex and seduction/flirtation to extract narcissistic supply from others.

Narcissists are misogynists. They team up with women as mere sources of SNS (secondary narcissistic supply). The woman's chores are to accumulate past NS and release it in an orderly manner, so as to regulate the fluctuating flow of primary supply. Otherwise, cerebral narcissists are not interested in women. Most of them (myself included) are asexual (engage in sexual acts very rarely, if at all). They hold women in contempt and abhor the thought of being really intimate with them. Usually, they choose submissive women, well below their level, to perform these functions. This leads to a vicious cycle of neediness, self-contempt (how come I need this inferior woman) and contempt directed at the woman. Hence the abuse. When primary NS is available - the woman is hardly tolerated, as one would reluctantly pay the premium of an insurance policy in good times.

The narcissist does regard the "subjugation" of an attractive woman to be a source of narcissistic supply.

It is a status symbol, proof of virility and masculinity and it allows him to engage in "vicarious" narcissistic behaviours (=being a narcissist through others, transforming others into tools at the service of his narcissism, into his extensions). This is done by employing defence mechanisms such as projective identification. Many of my FAQs and the essay are dedicated to these issues (see: "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited").

To re-iterate, Primary Narcissistic Supply (NS) is ANY kind of NS provided by others who are not "meaningful" or "significant" others. Adulation, attention, affirmation, fame, notoriety, sexual conquests - are all forms of NS.

Secondary NS is afforded by people who are in CONSTANT, repetitive or continuous touch with the narcissist. It includes the important roles of narcissistic accumulation and narcissistic regulation, among others. (See the essay in "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" for more).

The narcissist believes that being in love IS going through the motions and pretending to some degree. To him, emotions are mimicry and pretence.

He says: "I am a conscious misogynist. I fear and loathe women and tend to ignore them to the best of my ability. To me they are a mixture of hunter and parasite."

Most male Narcissists are misogynists. After all, they are the warped creation of a woman. A woman gave birth to them and moulded them into what they are: dysfunctional, maladaptive, emotionally dead. They are angry at this woman and, by implication, mad at all women.

The narcissist's attitude to women is, naturally, complex and multi-layered but it can be rather amply summarized using four axes:

1. The Holy Whore
2. The Hunter Parasite
3. The Frustrating Object of Desire
4. Uniqueness roles

The narcissist divides all women to saints on the one hand and to whores on the other. He finds it difficult to have sex ("dirty", "forbidden", "punishable", "degrading") with feminine significant others (spouse, intimate girlfriend). To him, sex and intimacy are opposite rather than mutually expressive propositions. Sex is reserved to the "whores" (all other women in the world). This division provides for a resolution of his constant cognitive dissonance ("I want her but...", "I don't need anyone but..."). It also legitimizes his sadistic urges (abstaining from sex is a major and recurrent narcissistic "penalty" inflicted on female "transgressors"). It also tallies well with the frequent idealization-devaluation cycles the narcissist goes through. The idealized females are sexless, the devalued ones - "worthy" of their degradation (sex) and the contempt that, inevitably, follows thereafter.

The narcissist believes firmly that women are out to "hunt" men and that this is almost a genetic predisposition embedded in their chromosomes. As a result, he feels threatened (as any prey would). This, of course, is an intellectualization of the real, absolutely opposite, state of things: the narcissist feels threatened by women and tries to justify this irrational fear by imbuing women with "objective" qualities which make them, indeed, ominous. This is a small detail in a larger canvass of "pathologizing" others as a means of controlling them. Once the prey is secured - the woman assumes the role of a "body snatcher". She absconds with the narcissist's sperm, she generates an endless stream of demanding and nose dripping children, she financially bleeds the men in her life to cater to her needs and to the needs of her dependants. Put differently, she is a parasite, a leech, whose sole function is to suck dry every man she finds and Tarantula-like decapitate them once no longer useful. This, of course, is exactly what the narcissist does to people. Thus, his view of women is a projection.

Heterosexual narcissists desire women as any other red-blooded male does (even more so due to the special symbolic nature of the woman in the narcissist's life - humbling a woman in acts of faintly sadomasochistic sex is a way of getting back at mother). But he is frustrated by his inability to meaningfully interact with them, by their apparent emotional depth and powers of psychological penetration (real or attributed) and by their sexuality. Their incessant demands for intimacy are perceived by him as a threat. He recoils instead of getting closer. The narcissist also despises and derides sex, as we said before. Thus, caught in a seemingly intractable repetition complex, in approach-avoidance cycles, the narcissist becomes furious at the source of his frustration. Some of them set out to do some frustrating of their own. They tease (passively or actively), or they pretend to be asexual and, in any case, they turn down, rather cruelly, any attempt by a woman to court them and to get closer.

Sadistically, they tremendously enjoy their ability to frustrate the desires, passions and sexual wishes of women. It endows them with a feeling of omnipotence and with the pleasing realization of malevolence. Narcissists are regularly engaged in frustrating all women sexually - and in frustrating significant women in their lives both sexually and emotionally. Somatic narcissists simply use women as objects: use and discard. The emotional background is identical. While the cerebral narcissist punishes through abstention - the somatic narcissist penalizes through excess.

The narcissist's mother kept behaving as though the narcissist was and is not special (to her). The narcissist's whole life is a pathetic and pitiful effort to prove her wrong. The narcissist constantly seeks confirmation from others in his life that he IS special - in other words, that he IS. Women threaten this. Sex is "bestial" and "common". There is nothing "special or unique" about sex. Women are perceived by the narcissist to be dragging him to their level, the level of the lowest common denominator of intimacy, sex and human emotions. Everybody and anybody can feel, fuck and breed. There is nothing to set the narcissist apart and above others in these activities. And yet women seem to be interested ONLY in these pursuits. Thus, the narcissist emotionally believes that women are the continuation of his mother by other means and in different guises.

The narcissist hates women virulently, passionately and uncompromisingly. His hate is primal, irrational, the progeny of mortal fear and sustained abuse. Granted, most narcissists learn how to suppress, disguise, even repress these untoward feelings. But their hatred does swing out of control and erupt from time to time. It is a terrifying, paralysing sight. It is the true narcissist.

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" and "After the Rain - How the West Lost the East". He is a columnist in "Central Europe Review" and the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory, Suite101, and He is the Economic Advisor to the Government of Macedonia. His web site:

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Site Update Poem

Keep Them Coming Back - Update Your Site

If you are anything like me, your website is a reflection of yourself. It contains your thoughts and communications, exposed to the entire world at all times. Look at virtually any non-commercial web site and you will get a glimpse at the person behind the monitor.

I look at web sites all day long, and I am constantly amazed by the things that people reveal about themselves without saying anything. Is the website well organized or just a jumble of images and text thrown up at a moments notice? Is the site alive with color or just dull and lifeless black and white? Is the site exploding at the seams with content or is it just a collection of ads, banners or links?

All of these and many other clues tell me more about the webmaster than any of those 50 question psychological quizzes.

One clue that tells me more than anything else is whether or not the site is kept up-to-date. Sometimes I will see a beautiful web page - a work of art that comes from the heart and soul of a human being. I fall in love with the page and want to learn more, then click on a link and bam, page not found. I shrug, as every webmaster has a bad link now and then. Click on another, and another, and more than half of the links are dead. I sigh, then move on.

Or I'm reading wonderful stories about a person's life experiences and find, well, these are all years out of date. A little looking around the site and I find that nothing has been updated since 1997. I always feel a little sad when I see this - it's as if something inside the webmaster died. I wonder, did she grow tired of it all? Get married and lose interest? Perhaps even died? Who knows, there is no clue on the site at all. It's just ... abandoned.

Another clue to a neglected site - the person created a webring and got several hundred people to join. The ring is obviously a creation of love as it's not easy to get so many sites to join up. The ring graphics are wonderful, the join page is beautifully written, and I am actually very impressed. I start to surf the ring and quickly find that over half the sites no longer exist. Another dozen have removed the ring code. How sad. It's one thing to lose interest in a webring ... but to just abandon it? I wonder what changed in a person's life caused this work of love and community to just be discarded so easily.

Or it could be that a person and simply doesn't update their site very often. There is a wonderful comic book site which is simply beautiful, yet sometimes months go by without a single update! It's so frustrating as I really am intrigued and want to come back to visit this guy's private world. I haven't checked in a long time - why bother, since the site is updated so infrequently?

My feeling is simple. Create the best website that you can with the knowledge that you have. You will never be finished, as there will always be more to say and show. You are a living, breathing human and you are learning more every day. Thus, there should always be something of value that you can add to your web site.Presumably, you've created your web site to communicate something to the rest of the world. It could be that you want to write up your life story, explain about the mythology of the Greeks and Romans, or simply compile a list of the best blonde jokes. It's possible that you even want to make a few dollars now and then by selling a nice product. Why settle for just getting someone to read what you've got to say and move on? Why not continually update your message so that your readers come back time after time to find out what new and wonderful things you've posted this week.

Think you've said everything that can be said about your subject? There are many options to this method of continual updates. You could add a message board to start virtual conversations with your visitors. Or perhaps you could add a weekly column (and associated ezine) to get people to come back. Even if you've said everything there is to say, perhaps you can add pictures, sound and videos or change the layout or presentation.

Be sure and let people know what's new by including a "What's New" section right on your front page. This serves to your visitors right to the new content immediately. It also lets them know that you are updating the site all of the time, which means they will want to come back again and again just to see what you have written or changed.

A periodic ezine is another way to stay in contact with your readers, letting them know what's going on at your special website. Another great way to get people to come back is to become active in newsgroups or email discussion lists (such as egroups and topica). By posting useful information at these places you will get people wanting to come to your site to find out what else you've got to say.

Which, of course, leads back to the original premise of this article. If you want people to come back to your site, you had better be keeping it up-to-date, accurate and adding new content all of the time. Otherwise, your readers will grow tired and move on to greener pastures.

And that's the saddest thing of all ... an abandoned creation of love and passion.

Richard Lowe Jr. is the webmaster of Internet Tips And Secrets. This website includes over 1,000 free articles to improve your internet profits, enjoyment and knowledge:

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One Step Ahead Serenade

Keeping Feet One Step Ahead

Foot care is essential, even for those vacationers relaxing at beaches and resorts. If taking the occasional walk on the beach or a leisurely swim in the ocean is the extent of your vacation activity, be sure to listen to your feet. Toby Saltzman is a freelance travel writer and editor and publisher of the travel website, The following footcare tips are Toby Saltzman's "steps" to live by while vacationing in a tropical locale:

- Always wear shoes or sandals while walking on sand, in order to prevent foot injuries from hot sand and objects that may be hidden beneath the sand
- Be sure to apply sunscreen to feet while basking in the sun; the skin on the feet is very sensitive and needs to be protected against the sun's harmful rays
- When purchasing sandals, be sure to buy ones that are comfortable and have plenty of arch support to prevent common foot problems such as tired, achy feet and corns, calluses and blisters. If common foot problems do occur, be sure to relieve discomfort by using over-the-counter products, such as Dr. Scholl's® Cushlin® UltraSlim Blister Treatment, to keep your feet healthy and happy
- Be sure to wear protection on your feet. Fungus infections, which are responsible for Athlete's Foot, thrive in warm, moist environments including pool decks. If you already suffer from Athlete's Foot use an over-the-counter anti-fungal cream, such as Dr. Scholl's® Athlete's Foot Cream Once-A-Day Application, to eliminate the infection

For more information on footcare visit

News Canada provides a wide selection of current, ready-to-use copyright free news stories and ideas for Television, Print, Radio, and the Web.

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Psychological Desires Opus

10 Psychological Desires To Insert Into Your Ad

1. Most people like surprises because it's a change of pace from their routine. Tell your prospects that they'll get a surprise free bonus for ordering.

2. Most people want life to be easier. Give your prospects easy ordering instructions, easy product instructions, etc.

3. Most people want to feel secure and safe. Tell your prospects that you have secure ordering and a privacy policy.

4. Most people want to receive compliments for their achievements. Give your prospects plenty of compliments for them considering your product.

5. Most people are curious about things that could affect their current lifestyle. You could use words like "Secret" or "Confidential" in your ad.

6. Most people want to invest in their future. Tell your prospects to "invest in your product" instead of "buy our product".

7. Most people want the latest and newest things in life. Use words and phrases in your ad copy like "New", "Just Released", etc.

8. Most people want to solve their problems. Tell your prospects what problems they have and how your product can solve them.

9. Most people want to make the people around them happy. Tell your prospects how happy their friends or family will be if they buy your product.

10. Most people want to get over obstacles so they can achieve their goals. Tell your prospects which goals they'll achieve by ordering your product.

Over 40,000 Free eBooks & Web Books when you visit: As a bonus, Bob Osgoodby publishes the free weekly "Your Business" Newsletter - visit his web site to subscribe and place a FREE Ad!

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Attraction vs. Love Verse

Attraction vs. Love

When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or medium that we meet, we are either attracted or not. Attraction, when pursued, eventually grows into levels of friendship and then may cross the barriers we build up, to protect ourselves, and grow into love.

Attraction usually involves an instant decision of like or dislike, based on our own subconscious criteria. If we meet someone in person, we tend to size them up physically. If we meet through letters or phone conversation or internet chat, we tend to size them up, over a longer term, by how well they converse and how interesting (or complimentary) they are while we interact with them.

It is true that people can act however they want, be whatever they want to be, over the internet. But eventually the true person leaks through the cracks and we begin to see their true self. Moral of the story? It’s best to be your real self. You may eventually want to meet the person on the other end of the conversation.

On the other hand, when you do meet the ‘real’ person on the other end, remember that you have grown to like that person because of what’s inside their mind and heart. You have found a potential ‘soul mate’ who thinks as you think and feels much the same way that you feel.

No one is perfect. We all have our own flaws and shortcomings. The concept of finding the ‘right’ person is good. The concept of finding the ‘perfect’ person is improbable and discouraging, because ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist.

The way this person looks, their physical appearance, isn’t as important as their inner looks, or soul. What we see is what we get, and hopefully the heart ranks the highest. We fall in love with someone’s soul, not the shape or size of their body. And although a certain number of things can be done to improve physical appearance, that shouldn’t be our main criteria or requirement for friendship or companionship.

We fall in love with their heart. With their inner self. With their true being. And that’s what matters most.

Bob Curtis has been writing articles, short fiction and poetry for over 30 years. He is the managing director of and is the president of Nexus Publishing ). He assists with Blue Romance (www.moonlitefire), a site promoting “positive” romance.

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