Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Mail Order Bride Poem


The Attack & Defense of the Mail Order Bride Business (Part One)

I am just taking a moment to write because I came across your site on the internet while researching the legality of mail order bride services. I am not going to tell you anything you do not already know. You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you. If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day. You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I'm not speaking about monetary wealth here; I'm saying you have no good qualities at all. Surprise! Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money. You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want "Mr. Big". The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need). So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty. Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that? You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S. You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship. News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real. Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you. Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these women face when they are stuck with losers like you.

Sincerely,

Amy XXXXXXX

Amy I am going to try to start a dialogue with you. I suspect this will be difficult based on your preference for name-calling, but I will still try to enlighten you on why your assumptions and impressions are not accurate. My experience with people who attack from an emotional, indoctrinated bias is that they are not inclined to learn or change regardless of the facts. However, my points will serve others. Understand every point I make will have exceptions, and that forming opinions on infrequent deviations does not diminish the overall benefits for the involved majority.

“You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you.”

Amy this is not true men select foreign brides for a variety of reasons. Some for their ethnicity, some for their values, some for their charm, the list is endless. What would be on the bottom of the list would be desperation; neither the men nor the women are desperate. The idea that these women would leave their home, family, friends and all the familiarities of their home country for a phony marriage is a sad perspective you have of such women. Believing all inhabitants of developing countries feel impoverished and desperate is a silly notion. The majority of the women on my website are average Colombian women who lead happy, productive lives. They know of only one existence. They do not compare being in you shoes and conclude from this that they have unfulfilled lives. The only "pretending" I see is you pretending to know me and the women you have never talked to. Unbeknownst to you, these women do defend their rights to choose who they marry, for example:

“I'm from Colombia South America and have friends that would love to find men from other country's. Not because we are so poor as some of you seem to think but because the men here enjoy cheating on there wife's and getting drunk. But I could be wrong it does seem you know more about my country then I do.”

You would get the same general response regardless of what foreign bride you talked to. But be honest Amy, you don't have any respect for how these women feel and believe. My guess is their opinions are meaningless to you because you would rationalize that since they make choices you disagree with they must not know what they are doing, is this not right?

“If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day.”

Again, you belittle these women. A look at the women's profiles would tell you that they come from all walks of life some are professionals, some are students, some are maids and some do not work, and yes, some cannot find work. However, what makes you think they do not have options for the men and path they take in life? Of course, their economic opportunities are not as strong as in the Western world, but this does not mean their opportunities for happiness is any less so, does it? Or are you correlating happiness with wealth?

“You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I'm not speaking about monetary wealth here, I'm saying you have no good qualities at all.”

Before I speak of me personally, the men seeking foreign women do so out of choice. They have no lack of options they have preferences. Are you against this choice? Do you believe American women or so high and mighty that any man that chooses not to connect with one is inadequate? You know nothing of my history yet you conclude this. I have a very positive impression of American women and I have been romantically successful with them all my life. I love the American woman's complexity, independence, strength, diversity, unpredictability and companionship. I love the fight in the American woman. It would not occur to me to see an American woman married to a foreign man from a third world county and think that she did so because she struck out with American men. I would think that she fell in love and he fell in love. But you don't appear to think in these terms. To you one was lacking good qualities and had no choice. Is this not a fair interpretation? I should let you know men from all walks of live marry foreign brides, their doctors, entrepreneurs, professionals, government employees, firemen, college students and soldiers. Isn't this something, the men just as the women come from all walks of live and you want to tell them where and how far they should walk.

But let us accept your premise, lets say a man did strike out all his life with American women. Does this mean he shouldn't look elsewhere? Does this mean he should be alone? Is it possible women of different cultures might have a different perspective in how they evaluate this man, and what you would consider as shortcoming others may find desirable. Is this possible Amy or should we just prohibit his efforts?

“Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money.”

Amy I make no claims otherwise. I just reject the demeaning limitations you assign to these women.

“You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want "Mr. Big".

Amy I sell matchmaking services, which means like all businesses I have to sell. My "Mr. Big" comment is nothing more then selling off of one of hundreds of criteria men and women apply in dating. Are you telling me some American women do not judge men by their financial stature? Is this what you are telling me Amy, because I said nothing more then this?

“The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need).”

Boy did my wife Karina get a bum deal; were going to be living in Colombia, so she doesn't even get that. Again Amy you categorize with out knowing. I can only assume from the way you like to throw accusations void of facts that your "research" will be just as slanted. Did it ever occur to you to know of what you speak before you speak? Let me stick you foot further in your mouth. While my situation is certainly atypical, your attack on me is personal so I will provide my personal story. My wife comes from a well off family. She was not a member of a Colombian marriage agency nor did she know such things existed. She led a privileged life. She was chauffeured to the University, she traveled to Europe, she owned property and was pampered her whole life. Her family has greater economic wealth then I do and did not want Karina to marry me. I told them Karina would not have a personal maid in the United States and that she would have to contribute with the family workload as most American women do. They told me I was crazy, Karina didn't even know how to cook white rice. But even against her families wishes Karina wanted to marry me. Her family pressured her by cutting off all her privileges anticipating that she would buckle under. When that did not work, they threw her out of the family. Here is a girl with a very large family, where family is everything, being evicted from her comfortable home and catered life with nothing. She was shunned from her family for hiding her romance and wanting to marry me. Yet you blindly conclude that she does not love me and I lured her to America because she lived an impoverished life of desperation. Amy I am curious, is it occurring to you to say maybe I should have my facts straight before I spit venom, because if it does then there is still salvation for you.

“So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty.”

Amy if you were to tell these women that they lead lives of poverty they would slap you in the face. The poverty of a woman's pocket is meaningless to an American man. The impoverishment of a woman soul, heart and values is not. Foreign women would consider you the poor person for having the latter. One of the many reasons they are drawn to American men is because we can recognize such difference, as do they.

Amy aren't these women adults free to make responsible adult decisions? I have women on my website over 50 years old, at what age is a woman able to make a decision on her own without you denouncing her ability to do so? My last engagement was with a couple both in their 40's is she another vulnerable, young woman Amy? Who should validate if these women are too young or vulnerable in deciding who and when to marry, you Amy? Or do you suggest we form a committee to make such a decision for them?

Earlier you said women look for positive qualities in a partner, but at the same time, you don't believe these women look for such qualities. What makes you think these women are materialistic oriented. Is it possible that you are the materialist and can't comprehend other women outlooks being different then yours?

“Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that?”

Amy I am very proud and happy in what I do. What is even more important is the happiness and joy I bring to the couples we bring together. It appears the only people who are not happy are people like you who enjoy intervening in other people's happiness. As I said to you before, you won't directly talk to these women because it would only corroborate what I have been telling you. They select men for marriage out of love for that man. You won't talk to the ones that have been married for 5 years, you won't talk to the ones that have been married for 10 years, and you won't talk to my Mom a foreign bride happily married to my dad for over 45 years. She raised five children and had a career working for one company for over 30 years. They now lead a life of world travel, family visits and volunteer work. No I do not think you will talk with such women. The thought of your false, shallow book-learned ideals being shattered by the realties of their happiness and real life perspective would be just too incongruent for your entrenched twisted views.

“You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S.”

Amy I am a typical American man. My possessions are average and everything I possess came from hard work and endeavor. No woman's eyes are going to pop-out by looking at my possessions. I would have to say you are the lucky one Amy. Very few places in the world can a woman say such reckless and unsubstantiated believes as you have without consequences. But you live in the United States, so you can promote unproductive agendas and extol feminist myths with no consequences for the damage that entails from your deceptive messages. How lucky you are. But you know what; your misguided view does not penetrate my well-being. You are correct in calling me lucky. I often tell my beautiful wife Karina how lucky I am to have met her, and you know what Amy… she tells me the same thing.

“You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship.”

Amy everything you have said is nothing more than an emotional diatribe you provide no content to your message. You are nothing more than a name caller. I can only imagine that if you had any physical strength you would also be a bully.

“News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real.”

I would agree. Why do you bring this up? The men do not pay for the woman and the women do not pay for the man.

“Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you.”

Amy I am a happily married man living a fun life. Any objective person would be able to see your considerations are clouded with hate and bigotry. You hate the idea of American men having alternatives to American women, and you have a superiority complex and a prejudice towards foreign women. A confidant woman would not be threatened by competition, but it appears to scare you. You hide your fear under the guise that you care about these women to the point that you fabricate their condition and what is in their hearts. If anyone should be ashamed Amy, it is you.

“Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these women face when they are stuck with losers like you.”

I feel very sorry for you Amy. Your self-inflicted pain comes from a vision of terror that does not exist. I hope it is not too late for you to feel better about yourself. I invite you to answer all the questions I have asked, and by that I do not mean respond. I mean actually answer my questions, surprise me with an exchange void of glaring lies and insulting attacks. Can you raise yourself to those standards? If what you believe is true, you should have no difficulty in presenting a logical, rightful position. Now if you don't mind, I have to eat dinner, burned rice.

Jamie
Engage the Exotic - Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

Author, Jamie Morrow, is the owner of International Introductions http://latin-wife.com a marriage agency specializing in Latin women. His expertise is in the mail order brides industry which has come under attack with pending legislation.

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