Cyberarted

Incorporating Yourself Ode

2009-02-25T00:35:00.000-08:00

You could save hundreds of dollars.
Many worldwide wifes who yearned for hers -
Sometimes you amazed with her frightening colors
Turning, expecing to hear murmers and burres

By incorporating yourself without a lawyer.
And I am the great one of the ones.
He was found one morning, dead, in the foyer -
Time, like everything else is never out done.

How? Is it advisable to do so?
Well I don't know, but I'll be stumping for bounties
It is possible to form a corporation law
And chase it across the mounties.

This is NOT legal advice!
Still the warbles sing in the springtime...
And spitting out hair lice
But doing that without dime.

The only ones who should be giving legal advice,
The walls have ears, and there are hands on the clock.
One furry kitten forever eating the rotting mice -
I went to the bathroom, and pulled down my jock.

Are those licensed to practise law?
I must struggle to wipe off all this gel!
Through the window I recently saw
It do make my mind for to bogel.

In other words, only lawyers
Are like green sturgeon rising to the mountain top.
Life is like a big trash full of flowers,
Like dark sheeps that just a crop...

This article is not legal advice.
And spits the seeds in others' faces,
And yellow penguins began to carve the ice,
And her misdemeanors leaves no trace...

If you need legal advice, consult a lawyer.
Then suddenly he robbed car and left
Him was found one morning, drunk, and the voyeur
Of fantastical rows - he was lucky theft.

It is possible to form a corporation or
Whether or not a grumpy feather swells not.
I ate too much pizza and wanted more -
For my mind never is changed, but body's always hot.

Limited liability company without a lawyer?
Or maybe they feel as if the were large kegs?
He was found one morning, happy, and the destroyer
Did so. I tripped. I broke all my legs.

Why Use a Lawyer? First of all,
Is where I went, alone in my escape?
Sweating and wondering, "Will someone call?"
Finding, suddenly, a roll of sticky tape.

If you make a mistake incorporating yourself -
Hey, it always all counts.
I play special games with myself,
I'll crack open my skull, give a manly grunt.

who do you sue? You only have yourself to blame.
Blasting out your skin, I would surpise
Bladed screwdriver stucked in your brain...
You can soar as the sun will rise

On the other hand, a lawyer has insurance -
Cover him with honey, and let the ants feast.
Insurance is dorm of self-reassurance!
Smoke him better, I'll be back for breakfast!

To cover errors and omissions
Go back and bury face in smoothy loins!
In that sunflavored condition
Folks think so nasty throwing coins.

Secondly, you could benefit
The lonely cobra, she has no fur...
My mind is twisting after such discomfit
I would not skin her, for she has very little blur.

From the expertise of your lawyer.
I open my mouth, mocking your sipping
He was found one morning, dead, in the foyer
And will split the binding!

Perhaps a corporation isn`t the right vehicle
Like all good smallish slugs,
Funny Clown, bunch of balloons miracle
I mixed it all up in an Australian rug

For you under your circumstances. Be aware -
He dances round the square with gleed - not greed.
Do you have any change you can spare?
The cry! I fear, no one gave heed.

That there can be disadvantages as well as advantages
Cover her mouth and bite her neck!
Can my heart, my body, my soul contain my rage?
My ciruits are overloaded, but I'll try write up check.

To incorporating... Your lawyer can consider commercial law,
The cheaper one would be more preferable!
Revealing a most salient flaw
Never understanding completely, mind isn't pliable...

Securities legislation, limited liability...
As mass defenestration comes back into style.
Towards the syntax of your romance and divinity -
My ciruits are overloaded, but I'll try to do it next time.

Tax factors, estate planning, share structure...
Can we change the big tide???
My path is yet crossed by the lowly Moose of Failure.
Therefore this Lady we did hide...

And a myriad of other business considerations.
However it will cause a nice contusion
Whose pistils are worn from the corporation,
Post cereal dibbling fusion...

Sometimes the advice of a good lawyer
Will weld the majestic snow...
And I said you were no vouyer,
I wish I was in Delaware, right about now.

Can save you thousands of dollars
Critical outfits subcultured in shame?
Brown eye leaks brown tears,
But no one ever is to blame.

Is it advisable to incorporate yourself?
I fled to my own bedroom palace!
Blame it on oil shelf
Where winter sheds snow to hide disgrace fallos.

Is it advisable to perform surgery on yourself?
With a ringing in my ears, like the humming of the bees?
These days, I just can't help myself
Coughing and choking longing to be free.

It is illegal to perform surgery on someone
But survey, with scratching, is easy to slough...
Who would've thought the feeling gun
But thou art mortal, mighty fellatio.

Else unless you are licensed to practise medicine,
Enjoy the sun and summer breeze!
I poured upon it caramel, but decided then
That it came out like a nice warm cheese.

But perhaps in a wilderness survival scenario
That feeds on turbulent emotions in stillness of air
Tippy-toe, tippy-toe, I know where was empire
When is this ranting to end!? Yes I declair.

Self-surgery might be your only option,
And the gorilla sat drinking tea.
Whoever taught you thermometer adoption
The ceremony of innocence is drowned throught the sea.

However, is performing surgery on yourself
Really good like something under orange peel?
It sleeps like a chair upon lost elf
The cookies of poverty, how does it feel?

Really a good idea in most instances?
You've got big but bad sound!
With nine lives a kitten dies but once -
Just wanted to return to the burial mound.

Likewise, just because it is possible to
Thunder through thier sewing hands.
Stupid thing, what do you do ?
The fat ugly moose lay in the sand.

Incorporate yourself without a lawyer,
Linking wonderous worlds of free expression...
His estate was, you see, due to his vouyer
Like ignorance, rage and agression.

Doesn't mean it is always a good idea!
Like climbing a purple tree.
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere
Looking at the sky is better, I agree...

In some jurisdictions, only lawyers can
To do exercise in mass poetry.
They must now eat meals out of a can
When those words are known by xmas tree.

Incorporate others! For a paralegal or other person
I'd like to substitute dirt for food
In the wonderful lands of Bitch-son.
Oh God this poem's getting good...

To incorporate a company for you could be considered
But it could be your spirit guide...
Pleasing the winds of angry red
And if, by rules, you choose not to abide

Unauthorized practise of law. Thus, it may be legal
Good. A hand from above reached down.
And things are not always as they appear,
And in its wake there lacks a worthy crown

To incorporate yourself but not others.
Put the melon in the fire, were making more...
Well, sort of like their uncles, fathers
Venturing out to find what was in store!

Some factors you might consider are:
Neither double comparitive prawn
Nor bastard alone has looked on beauty bare,
Its foot dared cross the line, once drawn...

Am I really that short of cash that I can't spend
If my toes should slide between your cheeks.
For I and my can need make amends
As the sun gently caresses the milky skin of geek.

The extra money for good legal advice that may -
Good thing you don't live down under.
But why is it? And is it anyways?
Throw them in the fire to smolder...

Save me thousands of dollars? Am I confident?
The mind screwdriver, stuck it in my brain!
And other lunchroom lucky condiments
Like piano stuffed with carcasses you came.

That my situation is one that really doesn't need,
And stop this majestic cow!
For in her belly he wants to put some seeds -
No, Jesus he was not, nor was he Love.

The services of a lawyer to incorporate? Can the money
Only with great restraint to not flog her?
The air was frosty fresh and tasted of honey...
Would it catch that glimpse for?

Saved on legal fees be better utilized in financing
And the espadrilles, once defenestrated
Are damn. Those fruit flies are balancing...
The butter is funny melted...

Other aspects of my business? Each person will have
To be realistic, but no masochistic
Sitting on a corncob the maiden weaves -
Good corns do not go ballistic...

To make their own decision on whether or not,
Although some rain would be so good.
It will be as useless as a chocolate tea pot...
The storm of rotting rised its mood.

To seek the services of a lawyer in forming a corporation
Grin and don't get involved in life!
That coke bottle is way past expiration -
They prefer own shoelace over god wife.

He who has himself as a lawyer has a fool,
Or should I just call you Dirty Garry?
Before it stained the tailored wool
The soldiers on both sides fought in frenzied flurry

For a client. I have often thought that perhaps a law firm
Waltzing in selzter cries out without spite.
The tiny mouse can make the elephant squirm
And quoth the raven, "Buy more Sprite".

Originated this common expression. How To Incorporate Yourself?
As we awakened to the smell of freshly cooked bacon
It sleeps like a chair upon a blonde shelf -
It has three cross dressed foolss and a con!

Many books have been written by lawyers
And they said again "Who's next?"
Washing wet army boots of dead soldiers
On the wonders of overlapping text

On how to incorporate yourself. Forms, corporate supplies,
A feeling that somewhere there's something I've missed.
Put burger to the bun as the chocolate milk shake cries,
Their gift certificate, lottery tickets she kissed...

Name searches, and kits are available from legal stationers.
Dig it, digits, digital, digitalis...
Life is like a big jail, full of prisoners.
They bumped noses against a big chrysalis.

In the United States, there are likewise many manuals...
I guess I gave 'em one hell of a ride.
I'd like to stand with red animals
When I heard about State Widowed Bride.

Available for incorporating yourself in various states.
They'll contemplate a barbecque lime.
And barrows of sprung fabric, scintillate!
Ciruits are overloaded, but try to do better next time...

"Incorporating Your Business For Dummies" by company
That sprinkled it with coriander as it was rather bland.
Funny clowns, bunch of balloons and pony -
The still beating heart of civilization in our hand.

Corporation and "How To Form Your Own Corporation"...
That's the question to estimate brain!
So why does their smiles melt with concentration?
Time flies like an arrow. Life flies like a plane.

Without a Lawyer for Under Seventy Five Dollars?
The day breaks with hands - I pour bowl of surreal...
Sometimes they amaze me with frightening collars,
And the morning sun rose as I shot it with gun of oatmeal.

Sometimes helpful information on this subject
Someones can ever tell what's under the sheets...
Be careful there is a list of side effects
Otherwise you'll bite own feet.

Is available from federal, provincial and state
For our own hands seldom rot
Heap loads of coleslaw onto your plate.
And I'm glad to see what I got.

Governments for free or nominal cost! You can
Shot all ghosts that have begun humming.
And it's always interrupted by the man
And pretty ladies you have been coming.

Sometimes locate incorporation manuals at your local
Unyielding path that's yet crossed by the Right Failure.
War - Peace, Black - White, Unspoken - Vocal...
All go away, mask answers, hides its cure.

Library for free. Be careful - legal manuals become
Kind of like a weird malfunctioning droid.
Even Gods decided to fork out and buy some
Viagra pills to strengthen muscle solenoid.

Outdated very rapidly - you might consider
That all the fools were shouted here!
Your master ate from dish, becoming wilder,
And reality is just rolling gear.

Very seriously purchasing the most up-to-date manual?
Feel their loving, moving, sticky just to use!
Staircase is reality that writting annual
Reports with ebb and flow of silky love and juice.

Available! It might also include helpful reference
To seconds that well up at the gates of furry.
Drink whole bottle and make little difference -
At least you weren't on the God Jury...

Material on maintaining corporate minutes
Was seemed to seeds to grow own rainbows...
It's going to hell, and that's its route!
It met bee queen, she said "Hello!"

And other helpful suggestions on operating your corporation
Is like pollen flew free and have been sneezed.
Please don't crap on my weight loss pills nation -
It came out like a nice warm breeze...

Buy the appropriate manual and supplies and then
Be like him waited, teeth bared, tin,
Where are the hells in my glasses, when?
Eat your carrets or you'll get nothing.

Follow the instructions. With a little effort
And too big half of pint of slurry
One who hasn't built around them a stone fort
Made more for skin care and furry.

You could save hundreds of dollars
For the Earth turned the hours faded.
Nothing to launder the backs of your collars
For that which you have graded...

Incorporating yourself without a lawyer -
Am I the great one of the big ones?
They were found one morning, laughting, in foyer -
Smile, like everything else is never out done...

How To Incorporate Yourself Without A Lawyer

You could save hundreds of dollars by incorporating yourself without a lawyer. How? Is it advisable to do so?

1. This is Not Legal Advice!

The only ones who should be giving legal advice are those licensed to practise law (in other words, only lawyers). This article is not legal advice. If you need legal advice, consult a lawyer.

This article is being written simply to inform you that it is possible to form a corporation or limited liability company without a lawyer.

2. Why Use a Lawyer?

First of all, if you make a mistake incorporating yourself, who do you sue? You only have yourself to blame. On the other hand, a lawyer has insurance to cover errors and omissions.

Secondly, you could benefit from the expertise of your lawyer. Perhaps a corporation isn`t the right vehicle for you under your circumstances. Be aware that there can be disadvantages as well as advantages to incorporating. Your lawyer can consider commercial law, securities legislation, limited liability, tax factors, estate planning, share structure, and a myriad of other business considerations. Sometimes the advice of a good lawyer can save you thousands of dollars.

3. Is it Advisable to Incorporate Yourself?

Is it advisable to perform surgery on yourself? It is illegal to perform surgery on someone else unless you are licensed to practise medicine, but perhaps in a wilderness survival scenario, self-surgery might be your only option. However, is performing surgery on yourself really a good idea in most instances?

Likewise, just because it is possible to incorporate yourself without a lawyer doesn`t mean it is always a good idea.

In some jurisdictions, only lawyers can incorporate others. For a paralegal or other person to incorporate a company for you could be considered unauthorized practise of law. Thus, it may be legal to incorporate yourself but not others.

Some factors you might consider are: Am I really that short of cash that I can`t spend the extra money for good legal advice that may save me thousands of dollars? Am I confident that my situation is one that really doesn`t need the services of a lawyer to incorporate? Can the money saved on legal fees be better utilized in financing other aspects of my business?

Each person will have to make their own decision on whether or not to seek the services of a lawyer in forming a corporation.

"He who has himself as a lawyer has a fool for a client." I have often thought that perhaps a law firm originated this common expression.

4. How To Incorporate Yourself

Many books have been written by lawyers on how to incorporate yourself.

For example, in Canada, M. Stephen Georgas, LL.B., has written books on the subject of forming your own corporation. Published by International Self-Counsel Press Ltd., he has authored "Incorporation and Business Guide for Ontario" ("How to form your own corporation Includes tax advantages to incorporating") and "Federal Incorporation And Business Guide" ("How to form your own Federal corporation under The Canada Business Corporations Act").

The same publisher sells forms and minute books as well as titles for incorporating in other provinces of Canada.

Forms, corporate supplies, name searches, and kits are available from legal stationers and other sources.

In the United States, there are likewise many manuals available for incorporating yourself in various states. "Incorporating Your Business For Dummies" by The Company Corporation and "How To Form Your Own Corporation Without a Lawyer for Under $75.00" by Ted Nicholas are two such books.

Sometimes helpful information on this subject is available from federal, provincial and state governments for free or nominal cost.

You can sometimes locate incorporation manuals at your local library for free. Be careful. Legal manuals become outdated very rapidly. You might consider very seriously purchasing the most up-to-date manual available; it might also include helpful reference material on maintaining corporate minutes and other helpful suggestions on operating your corporation.

Buy the appropriate manual and supplies and then follow the instructions. With a little effort, you could save hundreds of dollars incorporating yourself without a lawyer.

J. Stephen Pope, President of Pope Consulting Inc., has been helping clients to earn maximum business profits for over twenty-five years. To learn more about incorporating yourself and other profitable Work at Home Small Business Ideas, visit http://www.yenommarketinginc.com/incorporation.html.

Is Painkiller A Headache Poem?

2008-12-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

What is the first thing you do when you sense...
Life is short, drink wine and don't be sorry!
And the scent of the sense of presence
Is just soldier of both sides of worry.

Are Your Painkillers Giving You A Headache?

What is the first thing you do when you sense an impending headache? If you are like the majority of Americans, you reach for the closest bottle of over the counter or prescription pain killers and bolt some down automatically. Sometimes you may even be taking a pain killer in advance frequently or even daily, in order to stave off chronic headaches or because you are anticipating a stressful situation ahead.

Did you see yourself in of those descriptions? Then take a minute and think about your headaches. Is there a pattern? Do seem to have become more frequent and more intense with time, requiring medication more often than before? If yes, then most likely you are suffering from what are called rebound headaches, which are simply medication overuse headaches.

Coffee drinkers experience something similar. That first shot of coffee heads off the niggling beginnings of a headache. Each day you need that shot of coffee a bit earlier and perhaps then you need another one later in the day, until eventually, passing up that cup of coffee results in a headache. With time, the frequency of the headaches increases and so does your requirement for coffee. And you perpetuate the vicious rebound headache cycle. Although the caffeine is the culprit here, pain killers work the same way.

What happens is this. When you start taking pain killers more often than what the doctor prescribed or the label recommends, your body kind of adapts to the medication. The result is that each successive time you need a higher dose to combat headaches. And as you up the dose, the frequency and intensity of your headaches increases, so much so that headaches become a daily phenomenon. Some headache sufferers even find wake up with a dull headache that never really goes away.

Most people do not realize that over-the-counter pain killers are meant to give quick relief from occasional headaches. They were never intended for daily routine use recurring headaches because of the potential for causing rebound headaches. Once the rebound headache cycle has been triggered, the only way to stop it, is to stop taking the drug that triggered it. Period. But, although the task is simple, it is not always easy. Especially in the case of opium drugs, withdrawal must be closely medically supervised, because it is potentially dangerous.

For further rebound headache information, see Total Headache Relief or consult your doctor. Seek medical help if you:

have a headache more than 3 times a week
are regularly on pain killers
your headaches seem to be getting worse despite medication and rest

If rebound headaches are diagnosed, your physician will recommend the best way to stop taking the drug that is causing the problem and supervise if necessary. Your headaches may become worse before get better because of medication withdrawal symptoms, but if you persist, you can successfully break the rebound cycle.

Rebound headaches are usually accompanied by restlessness and irritability. Rebound headaches can be triggered by overused pain killer, however, some pain killers are more likely to do so. Common over-the-counter medications that contribute to rebound headaches are aspirin, ibuprofen, acetaminophen, more so if come in combination with caffeine. Rx drug culprits include most migraine medicines, opium-based medications, and those containing butalbital (Esgic, Fioricet, & Fiorinal). Get the details on your pain killer here.

Most importantly, preventing kind of headache from occurring often is the best solution, so it is worth while to try out most natural headache therapies as prevention is their focus. This requires a conscious effort on your part and can be achieved by identifying and avoiding things that trigger headaches for you. Alternative therapies like meditation and yoga teach you to relax and develop a positive attitude towards life. Also, making small lifestyle changes like getting sufficient sleep, eating meals in time, exercising regularly and quitting smoking can go a long way in preventing nagging headaches.

AUTHOR: Renee Morales.

Weight Loss Secrets Serenade

2008-12-10T07:41:00.000-08:00

Are you miserable with how
To can see and feel my pain?
Please don't hurt my holly cow
Where I left that frozen rain...

You look and feel? Have you tried
To nibble lump in melon rind?
That bug that's been in air died
Throw out the oranges and ate the blind.

Diet after diet and failed? Have you given up
On marching along for seeking of smog?
But where will it run when the time is up,
And diet pepsi throws my mind in fog.

On losing weight? You are not alone!
But critical fat burners subcultured in shame...
The man who says it can't be done
(For whole question & nothing's gone.)
To be crash-kille only by this name.

Every year millions of people take a trip
Pouring cream into common air.
Without a song the colors drip.
And shakes only snow out of the hair.

On the diet and weight loss roller coaster
Sagacious towers blindly grab
and spirit died between two lobsters
Born in Doctor Evil lab.

And they spend billions of dollars,
And this one seems to grow real fast.
Now who's bowling to be solar?
Swirling and moving like an arm in a cast...

On every fad diet available in
Fanatic ray that ready to destroy the world -
Around our head just life falls in ruins
You are the best person and, sure, the best word.

An attempt to lose weight... What are the secrets?
Does nothing to launder the backs of you fears
Which was aching with fully regret?
Even mankind had no ears from which to hear...

To losing weight? First of all, diets don't work!
I kissed the bunch of beavers
To only know this, don't wanna look like dork
I feel this wrong to simply pull a lever.

Period! There is no magic pill, machine or “secret”
A War! How can we live, give birth to plastic kids?
And is that memory I was a piglet?
One only stuff that useful I did...

That will magically make your body lose weight.
And I won't never eat these eggs and stay,
It was a dark and stormy - very great!
But nothing is original to say...

You have to think of it as a new way of life,
And sparkling yellow potion filled.
Relax, don't get involved knife
To cry inside you and be killed.

A permanent commitment, not just something
But I think this enough exceed.
Few naked ladies know simply what I'm seeing
Knife edge to easy write and read.

You do for a few days or a week and it's over.
Just make sure that your cars break.
And, now you know - it's only cover,
And you will get whatever you take.

If you follow a diet or weight loss plan
It should be a malfunctioning droid.
You seem to have misplaced your recipe for flan?
Then they stole it, were they paranoid?

That requires you to totally eliminate foods -
Without any samples in your mouth.
Long heard - hence - long misunderstood...
I wished those toys my early youth.

Or severely limit certain foods,
To be or not to be is just a bunch of blather.
But soon you sure will chew wood -
It's time not to the rocks, but gather.

You are setting yourself up for disappointment
When you'll find yourself in the troubles.
As I spoke before that all became supermen,
Naked playing cards become pocket bibles.

Frustration, and disaster from the start:
Damn mouse that just drunk off all my beer!
Rejection burns deep, and you found hole in your heart,
But it was there - you felt yourself like peer!

You do not have to starve your body to lose fat -
You and the similars all the same can't be butterflies.
Once upon a time there was just a little cat:
Just cup filled with clouds of my memories.

In fact, you must never skip a meal to lose weight
Carving out a pernicious void.
My jacket was put on, way to gate,
Kind of like a malfunctioning droid.

Think about it. The main goal of your body is to survive
And turning the fat fatten logs.
Lost in webspace and split all arrives
Cosmo farmer just shot their dogs.

If you try to lose weight by reducing your calories
Spreading hands that will choose what I set.
How this natural strength in my truly salaries
Said to all 'bout screaming I get.

Too much, your body will respond by storing fat
The ceremony of innocence is drowned.
And I ate this sweet fried big cat
Throu the net that withered and waned.

Instead of losing it and using muscle tissue to provide it,
We all have meat balls that grow.
If their life's so grand that we live it -
Then white stuff on the temple we're calling snow...

With the calories it needs. You body reacts this way.
Shout about doubt, don't pout you lout.
And how do you make them go this day?
C'mon dude, now twist and shout!

Because muscle is the most readily available energy source.
So overly protein abound,
Its calling as an unique horse -
The better name that could be found.

Using muscle tissue to feed the body lowers muscle mass
He would rule with an iron's rod.
Molten flowers explode yellow as I pass
That vanishly displayed weird bod.

Causing the body's metabolism to slow down...
Opened eyes are full of glimmers
At their grandiose sense of silly town
And sparkling memories of funky rhymers.

This, in turn, makes it that much more difficult,
Even better than a deep fried served band.
Reality is way leading to useless result,
Dancing in clear white robes, with knife in hand

To lose weight. Starving yourself is NOT the answer!
My Lord! Just got a strawberry milk shake and fries -
Life is like a big sausage, full of cancer
And droids' dance through fields of cries...

The result is a vicious cycle of trying to lose weight -
Walking constantly, awakeing and chewing...
Bright like a metaphorical tiger height -
They make themselves known by their ground crewing.

But gaining weight instead!
Life is short, drink wine and don't be sorry!
That keeps life around in your head -
Berserkers on both sides fought in a flurry.

What will burn that stubborn body fat and rev up
And Can we stop the tide?
But where will you, you rave handicap -
Stuffed animals never think of suicide.

Your metabolism without burning muscle mass?
Put on some rassberry chapstick,
Wiggle and squirm and get ready for class,
Throust your eye out with a joystick.

To effectively lose weight, you must drink.
The woman in the jam has always been a brawler,
And even little men can sing -
And dream of sing is dirty trawlers.

Lots of water, exercise daily, and eat five or six
So soon you smear it over fatty legs
Then consumation with my friend that kicks
And you take hits and more beg...

Small nutritious meals throughout the day,
My socks are wet, and my shoes now slosh.
Yet it's a scratch and save day at the bay -
Lets make all to go out and to wash.

No more than four hours apart. This’s weight loss!
You woke up in a state of bread
Vomiting robot poems are so gross -
I saw the Judge, his name was Dread.

Plan keeps your metabolism working at
The dinner, at last, emerged with juice-stained togs
You may want to get me contact lense "fihting cat".
While I gnaw my friend leggie, fatty hog.

Maximum efficiency to burn fat...
Like a pile of enthusiastic newfoundlands
There, yet I saw the rat, only the rat.
It sprinkled it with coriander to be bland.

Your body will not store up fat calories because
And when you try to hold them I leak like a sieve.
The windows are the eyes of house, thorny rose -
You crumble, wither as trees grieve.

It senses there will be a steady supply of food
At night and even in the day!
Cows are evil, pigs are good -
And your award is on its way.

And you will not feel hungry or deprived
When you died upon the foolisg red dock.
Reality through the brain is the world short-sived,
Saying silently ,"gimme ball, gimme dick gimme rock"

Between meals. With this change in your eating habits.
And there they easy will be found -
At the edge of revolution of blue rabbits,
Upon the gonfaloon do mighty gnats abound.

You will not be as tempted to cheat
The goddess - looks too fear...
But sun still spreading down heat
And shining eyes leak shining tears...

And your weight loss will be much easier!
You give its a chance of your black stain
Washing the wet movie boots of dead teasers
It can control all your brain.

In addition, you MUST do some sort of
Birds. Birds with arms it seemed too mystic.
Is it very hard as pure Smirnoff?
Or realistic, but trully sophistic?

Daily exercise - walking, power walking, jogging...
Though I never knew what was in the flue.
Catch this branch that is fogging
And crawling with the blues.

Elliptical training, bicycling and swimming...
And you think that gone your train,
You wish you could stop when everything done skimming
But everyone taste exorcist wine of your brain.

Are excellent and easy exercises that will put
Our thoughts to linger over fiery sun.
And unchecked breeding creates only the mutes
Only to realize not seeing is more fun...

Your body in fat-burning mode - these exercises
Stand up straight, then down on all floors.
Can you lap at toes of mighty and wise?
I finally able to get without door.

Force your body to burn a higher percentage of
Those diet pepsi, cookies - your mind is under fog
To deep in crazy game, to pick the magic golf
Would you handle doom if you looks like a hog?

Calories from fat and they increase your muscle mass:
The hula hoops chewed on all them
Wiggle and squirm and get ready for the class.
And quickly do because it is not like a femme

Allowing you to eat more. Plus, your body will burn
Poetry. Is it art, not the midless trash you peddle?
For little spots, that itch and turn
Like a snake pines for tall wood sandal.

Calories for up to an hour after the activity stops -
Yet, as you stop to observe your sense of duty flow
The Power of the Darkness is clambering to top
To lighten the display of creamy glow.

The secrets to the most effective diet and weight loss plan
Just to smell the flowers that smell so sweet.
And yes you do revel in the charade of this elan,
You must beware for things that eat your feet!

Are to listen to your body and eat when your body tells
So you done this and wear old tog.
That you kinda good and you kinda smell
Till it, at last, emerged with juice-stained frogs.

You - it's hungry, do daily exercises and make
Marking the time, but no looking back...
Your heart grew faint, their hearts began to shake
Just crank it up, let it down and give yourself whack.

The commitment to follow these guidelines:
Vice is nice, but a little virtue - won't hurt you?
This was the mission for which we were fine
Since you ran away with alien green shoe!

For a lifetime... Once you train your body to follow
Better or worse, more or less...
Somehow you didn't care about that cat's meow
And how it's cute its furry dress.

A proper diet and nutrition plan, you will eat more
Dancing and singing, lying and flying...
And please promise me - don't count and don't score
what a smacky promises - make you so crying.

Frequently but you will eat fewer calories,
You will've got that big god sound
Well you don't know, but I'll show you galleries -
Come and see half-life, you've been under ground.

Feel more satisfied, and lose weight!
Ask Mr.Yourself and spouse of course
Stopped or died - you found gate
Hey! be happy and be own nurse!

In a healthy manner - in that way and only that way
I'm not Shakespeare, I just using his quote
Words are very nice and, sure, can play
Filled with elegance, charm, just take note...

Will you lose weight and keep it off?
All you can do - make last kiss to the fries.
They caught your nose and pulled to cough -
Then just kick own ass and fly into the sky!!!

Diet + Weight Loss Secrets

Are you miserable with how you look and feel? Have you tried diet after diet and failed? Have you given up on losing weight? You are not alone. Every year millions of people take a trip on the diet and weight loss roller coaster and they spend billions of dollars on every fad diet available in an attempt to lose weight.

What are the secrets to losing weight? First of all, diets don't work, period. There is NO magic pill, machine or “secret” that will magically make your body lose weight. You have to think of it as a new way of life, a permanent commitment, not just something you do for a few days or a week and it's over.

If you follow a diet or weight loss plan that requires you to totally eliminate foods or severely limit certain foods, you are setting yourself up for disappointment, frustration, and disaster from the start. You do not have to starve your body to lose fat. In fact, you must never skip a meal to lose weight. Think about it. The main goal of your body is to survive.

If you try to lose weight by reducing your calories too much, your body will respond by storing fat instead of losing it and using muscle tissue to provide it with the calories it needs. You body reacts this way because muscle is the most readily available energy source.

Using muscle tissue to feed the body lowers muscle mass causing the body's metabolism to slow down. This, in turn, makes it that much more difficult to lose weight. Starving yourself is NOT the answer! The result is a vicious cycle of trying to lose weight but gaining weight instead.

What will burn that stubborn body fat and rev up your metabolism without burning muscle mass? To effectively lose weight, you must drink lots of water, exercise daily, and eat five or six small nutritious meals throughout the day, no more than four hours apart. This weight loss plan keeps your metabolism working at maximum efficiency to burn fat.

Your body will not store up fat calories because it senses there will be a steady supply of food and you will not feel hungry or deprived between meals. With this change in your eating habits, you will not be as tempted to cheat and your weight loss will be much easier.

In addition, you MUST do some sort of daily exercise. Walking, power walking, jogging, elliptical training, bicycling and swimming are excellent and easy exercises that will put your body in fat-burning mode. These exercises force your body to burn a higher percentage of calories from fat and they increase your muscle mass, allowing you to eat more. Plus, your body will burn calories for up to an hour after the activity stops.

The secrets to the most effective diet and weight loss plan are to listen to your body and eat when your body tells you it's hungry, do daily exercises and make the commitment to follow these guidelines for a lifetime. Once you train your body to follow a proper diet and nutrition plan, you will eat more frequently but you will eat fewer calories, feel more satisfied, and lose weight in a healthy manner. In that way and only that way, will you lose weight and keep it off.

Chris Chenoweth, author of the DO-IT-YOURSELF HOME, HEALTH & MONEY GUIDE http://mysiteinc.com/djtrevayne/guide.html, writes articles pertaining to nutrition, health issues, and household budgeting. One of the most effective and healthy weight loss programs available, BURN THE FAT http://www.ezniche.com/data/article.php?l=18, shows you how to convert your body into a fat burning machine.

Buying Renters Insurance Verse

2008-12-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

Renters insurance is often overlooked by people
So have a taco, what do you say.
We dream of dark things, nightshade and purple.
Doing this reminds me off Norway...

Who are renting their house or apartment?
The fly in our jam gets smaller and smaller.
Fall on your head and forget about dent -
Dream of ink and Navy trawlers.

Many people don’t realize that their
Phoenixes rise astronomically bound .
Mashed potatoes, where's the gravy baby?
Left town in a Greyhound.

Landlord’s insurance only covers the building,
Just don't sit up and 'net all friggin' night -
The planet Mongo was ruled by Ming.
And sistuhs, dat boy outta sight!!!

That's you live, there in no coverage for your personal belongs,
Forgotten by the hordes of the disillusioned.
Just to make sure that it won't go wrong -
And she got totally burned.

Renters insurance usually offers full coverage
Finding relief in fondoo-a cheese melter.
Can my heart, my body, my soul contain my rage,
Searching for solace from this helter-skelter?

To protect your belongs from fire, flooding, theft...
I'll! I've missed a spot, there's still hair on et!
My stomach empty, my soul bereft,..
But, PLEASE, always love it.

And many other types of perils...
Be afraid for a little while.
Her stinky, wet fur aflame in my nostrils,
And watch the green little critters rot in a pile.

Most renters' policies are actually very inexpensive,
Abnormal stains on the carpet...
And Lost in a space of split infinitives
I fling myself from a parapet.

Especially when compared with the regular
That mustn't have seen us,
Now who's bowling for dollars?
Does anyone know what time it is...

Homeowners insurance; and it’s easy to get
And I drew a kell -
It's easy enough to forget,
I travel, forseeing the need to spell.

A renters insurance quote. People who rent their homes,
Good A hand from above reached down.
Yet as we watch the snows of winter come,
Ay - but the tumor - 'twasn't known!

Apartments may not realize that they may need,
We would rule with an iron's rod.
Received his gift, the blood and seed:
Even if he has such a nice bod!

Liability insurance. You could be held responsible,
And I stood to go, for he was hollerin'.
Or rather lumpy tables -
Safe it is, when you keep it within...

For injury to another person if they were injured,
The softener glistening like fresh milked cream.
Or am I a castle who has been dismembered
When tedious sycophants scream?

In your rented residence. Fortunately, most renters insurance
As I watch my life being poured.
I want to dance, a dime a dance romance
Are stones part of time, I wondered...

Will guarantee personal liability coverage?
Like birds with arms it seemed surrealistic!
To the shadows of the net we shall pay homage
And neither are we sadistic?

Renters insurance will be able to help
Indigestion setsin so they now seem deadly.
The poodle broke wind and let out a yelp...
Eat broken glass, and pound on you soundly!

Protect you in case of a liability lawsuit!
Two sad eyes acrossing the room!
Or am I a really big mango fruit?
Curl up and die at the back to the groom...

Against you. In addition, if the place you are renting
As I wander through the crowd in the suit.
He thought that she was joking
As fly grasping warmth while perched on a circuit.

Becomes unlivable for any reason, most renters’ insurance
I shall go and weep in my maternal shed.
Highlighting and underlying my deep insignificance,
As hanging by the neck, it coughed.

Policies will allow additional living expenses.
Go ahead and try it, if that's what You say:
If all else the blazing sun, it teases,
I feel that I shall melt away.

This means that your insurance will pay for...
No longer wanting Wonder Bread!
Things are not always as they appear:
I want to bite off your head.

Your hotel room or any other expense you may have,
When I felt that the magic of childhood had gone.
How would one know I lived as a knave,
Ever blows the wind thru my bones?

If your home become unlivable,
So I'll just shut up and strike a pose.
Is poetry quantifiable?
Spray from afar but not to close!!!

Now some suggestions keeping
A loofah brush sits upon my worktable.
But what is it you're skipping?
Winding the trembling self-adulating fable.

Your renters insurance premium low...
Or realistic, but mystic, holistic!
Your breast is ice for me, your milk is snow
The amazing skateboardin' tarantula gone ballistic.

The cost of your renters insurance coverage...
Are we sure that this is the life we want to live?
Searching we are... for a bit of thrill-age?
I find that numbers are a painless alternative.

Will depend on many factors, including the place
Then take out my big black gun...
I saw him standing there with a smile on his face -
There's nothing worse than a squishy bun.

You live, your insurance company, your deductible,
Or maybe your feel as if the were large kegs...
Never understanding completely, their mind not pliable -
So they smeared it all over her legs.

And many other factors...
Molten flowers explode yellow as I pass!
Delete my face and close the doors,
Because you are no lass.

One tip is to increase the deductible, which will.
Is it the breath of pollen that tears my eye?
From my pockets, he's added to his till.
Even the dog with the guy.

In the long run lower the amount of money,
They still beating heart of civilization in the hand.
The air was frosty fresh and tasted of honey,
She sprinkled it with coriander as it was rather bland.

You will have to pay.
More Or less. More Or less.
Solemn sound with my self night and day
Of life's unrest, beyond the cries of loneliness.

If you put in safety measures like fire alarms,
What doesnt Kill you only makes you stronger!
He'd be diamond fist for the strongest arm -
So I crowed ... like a fish monger!

Burglar alarms, and fire extinguishers...
Your award is on their way.
Baby or bathwater, who cares the weather,..
And dance the night becomes away.

Your insurance company may offer a discount.
Stones tapping underfoot like rice crispies going pop.
Hey, however it all counts
Like green sturgeon rising to the mountain top.

If you rent a home, a renters insurance quote
Each quiet and brooding to escape your burden of sin.
Though filled with elegance and charm, take note -
As you waited, teeth bared, tin.

Will provide you with peace of mind and security
But better that than the tip of an elephant's tusk.
And yet the sun shineth down for all eternity -
The hat of my uncle is under the gland of my musk.

For as long as you rent a home.
I really need to stop wearing green slacks.
So worldy! So welcome!
This poem really sucks!

With a little planning and searching...
No laddy, free with a glance or glass!
His mother, he was choking
Molten flowers explode yellow as I pass.

You’ll be able to find great rates
It's time to find me a new chick!
Who decided she'd like to levitate?
How I dispair of your silly pointed stick.

On Renters insurance quotes
We drank away the best part of the day.
Though filled with elegance and charm, take note -
Your award is on its way.

And cheap renters insurance,
And spitting out hair lice...
The moon graced multiple presences'
You are unprepared to make face twice.

If you rent a home, protect it by buying Renters Insurance

Renters insurance is often overlooked by people who are renting their house or apartment. Many people don’t realize that their landlord’s insurance only covers the building that you live, there in no coverage for your personal belongs. Renters insurance usually offers full coverage to protect your belongs from fire, flooding, theft, and many other types of perils. Most renters’ policies are actually very inexpensive, especially when compared with regular homeowners insurance; and it’s easy to get a renters insurance quote. People who rent their homes or apartments may not realize that they may need liability insurance. You could be held responsible for injury to another person if they were injured in your rented residence. Fortunately, most renters insurance will guarantee personal liability coverage. Renters insurance will be able to help protect you in case of a liability lawsuit you. In addition, if the place you are renting becomes unlivable for any reason, most renters’ insurance policies will allow additional living expenses. This means that your insurance will pay for your hotel room or any other expense you may have if your home become unlivable.

Some suggestions keeping your Renters Insurance premium low.

The cost of your renters insurance coverage will depend on many factors, including the place you live, your insurance company, your deductible, and many other factors. One tip is to increase the deductible, which will in the long run lower the amount of money you will have to pay. If you put in safety measures like fire alarms, burglar alarms, and fire extinguishers your insurance company may offer a discount. If you rent a home, a renters insurance quote will provide you with peace of mind and security for as long as you rent a home. With a little planning and searching you’ll be able to find great rates on Renters insurance quotes and cheap renters insurance.

Mike Yeager, Publisher, http://www.a1-insurance-quotes-4u.com.

Discount Dental Plans Opus

2008-12-01T03:34:00.001-08:00

The pain is all but unbearable at this point
But genital wars save the day.
Not sponges, or head cheese or toe lint -
I want just to relax and play!

And you are going to have to see the dentist,
And the fat ugly moose lay in the sand.
Thus was the armed knight enticed from the list
I will always... dental plans with the shake of hands,

But, they did it again, didn’t they? Your employer
Got aspirations like fish on the bank.
It was found one morning, dead, in the foyer
But low, the fish out of water stank.

Has once more resorted to changing carriers
And I can't seem to find...
And shoot I care, bare, I got broad soldiers
Gently licking the salt from a pork rind.

In your dental insurance and now you are stuck
And though I don't remember when I could not mask the pain,
I pluck snake's eyeballs and have a suck.
Excuse me while I shoot myself in the brain.

With less coverage, higher deductibles, and reduced benefits
Who's that chick with the snake? Wotthehell?
Broke into a mega million bits -
You treat your garden very well!

Unfortunately, you have already exceeded
And the moon looks down, it's looking at a dime.
Its mind was all beheaded
And reduced to a puddle of slime.

The maximum allotment for your dental hygiene,
So let's just converse and have our cornflakes!
Behavior we'll have to leave this scene,
My teeth are so sore, yet I feel like a snake.

This year and you don’t even want to know
I sped off in my dental amid toxic spray.
They crunch between my toes like arrows
But the day-white smell always rips my dreams away.

How much it is going to cost you out-of-pocket
For little spots, that itch and burn.
Tell us where we can buy our cheap sockets,
Reality is just a cinema pop-corn.

To get that tooth taken care of properly,
He may not have hair, but he's still got air
Things don't appear hopefully
His face was all sticky with candy at the county fair

Do you? Maybe you don’t have dental insurance?
It's time to find me a new chick,
And all got up and left at once -
He sadly said "Yes, because i'm a hick".

Which is all the more reason for to read
Thrown into the sky like all so many figs.
Kick me in the head
Cause after the beating they all have to wear wigs.

On because one way or another,
Pulling my trousers down gently in the mist.
But i gotta talk to my Father
So just live who you are search for your Christ.

Those teeth need taken care of now!!
Swept by wave of emotion, tortured and taken...
Daybreak brings a molten white hot snow
That which made my blood shaking.

Maybe you are thinking that a dental plan
Is smoke-shrouded chain saw kicked out of the tree.
Yes, but only backwards with the olives in my flan,
Oh dental doctor, you'd better see

Is the last thing you need with all the other things
Push down on me hard darling
Irascable vampires climb upon the wings
Well nows the time we all gotta garlic

Flying at you every day in this fast-paced world.
But thou art mortal, and strongest billow
You are the best person was her told
She grips lovingly onto the brick that is her pillow.

But nothing could be farther from the truth!
Hung inbetween earth and heaven
I wish for the toys of my youth,
Read book by demon named Seven

People clip coupons just to save a few pennies
And, now nekked, they shiver, oh how they shiver
Well I don't know, but I'll be stumping for bounties
I feel 'tis wrong to simply pull a lever

On a jar of peanut butter but a dental plan could save them
I would kiss him but he's too much of a toad
We must discern them, good I am.
Life is so damn open road

Hundreds of dollars over the course of a year!
Make your niche, you squalid witch
And the wastrel radish has no ear
She had contracted ringtone, it made her itch

But how does a dental plan work? Isn’t it
But few women deserve a slappin
If I ever caught a bird, oh holly shit!
Allen is such a stud wrappin

The same thing as dental insurance
To what my friend the calendar says.
It still looked like it gave assurance
To Words through which love can make play

A dental plan is membership based but unlike
Everything seems just cool as can be
But, what a heck, take a hike...
Climbing a purple hairy bee

Dental insurance which usually requires a monthly deduction
I fled to my own bedroom palace
This is easy; it's not nuclear construction
They laughed him in the face

From your paycheck, there is only a one-time fee
As written rains and spoken snows
I'm so clapped up, I cannot see
I better go get pizza now

For year round savings. Any dental plan has a list
With silent rudy sounds
The mist cleared uncovering the sleeping psychiatrist
With my hidden founds

Of participating dentists that you can go to for services
The mice run quickly out of her house (((
And they're horrible and taste like faeces
In the grand design only man can confuse (((

But unlike dental insurance where you are often limited
Make your choice, you spanked witch
The best poem is not that which can skillfully imitate
So walk to her and scratch the itch

To dentists in your zip code, you can see any participating
But hear what we'll sooner find
So far, we have had slim lubricating
I have fallen into the yesterdays of mind.

Dentist and receive the discounts—anywhere!
Hair loss disasters don't wanna look
And wondered aloud, "what might live in there?"
President psyches all of us out returning all his books,

And while most dental insurance covers
Laying your eyes upon your clit
Brown girl has a couple of brown lovers
Understand the world, or garp it.

Nearly all preventative procedures, they limit disbursements
For swearing souls, curse them and eat them purely
Agravation is neccesary for fulfillment
I'll spit up the chard, surely

On many of the treatments that most of us in the “real world”
While the light of a dim bug beckons
And always butlers travel hurled
Do you long for fields of geckos?

Really need like fillings, extractions, root canals, dentures,
It never ends, in fact.
The pleasant path to happiness, that's for ventures
I've grown too old to act

And even crowns! Why should cutbacks in your employer’s plan
Or a purple spiderfish
And yes I do revel in the charade of this gun
Beautiful music emerged - no blemish

Mean cutbacks in the amount of care your teeth really need?
Floating in the quiet ecstasy of cobalt waves
Man is forced to eat greed.
Because that's all we really have

After paying the annual fee and depending on the plan
"FISH!" cried the bear, "Fish Rhymes with orange!"
While thinking whistfully I had other clans
Give me something that rhymes with orange :-)

You choose, a dental plan can save you anywhere
But oh, how this strength in me truly lies
Creatures from heaven are there
So I guess I'll have some pie.

From few procentes on the procedures you need now!
Oh the wonders of overlapping text
Alas, soon the gardener will decide to mow
And said "Who's next?"

Whether you have dental insurance that has been
You are my arm, said me, chanting surely
But that is better than green.
I'll spit up the chard prematurely

Cutback to the point of almost being useless or even
Finding relief in fondoo-a cheese melter
Ever bought beer from hell and from heaven
Some booties and a poncho would help him feel better

If you are paying for everything out-of-pocket,
I like to spank my little gnome named WILL
Tell us where we can buy our cheap rockets,
And of green pointy thingies i've had my fill

A dental plan is the only way to go to receive top-notch care
Or realistic, but mystic & holistic
Virute pals stone you to death in the town square
Kill all people who cant drink mystic

But at reduced costs! It is NOT a question of whether
She acts as she doesn't know him at all!
I asked mime to smash and shoot together
Your boobs are totally too small

A dental plan is right for you but only question
I then pull out the bottle's cork
Or as the trembling foot on the skull session
I don't make a mess, don't wanna look like a dork

Of which plan is best for you and your needs?
Next heavenly alone port!
As I wonder how to fulfill my grids -
One who hasn't built around them a stone fort.

Getting Serious About Discount Dental Plans

The pain is all but unbearable at this point and you are going to have to see the dentist. But, they did it again, didn’t they? Your employer has once more resorted to changing carriers in your dental insurance and now you are stuck with less coverage, higher deductibles, and reduced benefits. Unfortunately, you have already exceeded the maximum allotment for your dental hygiene this year and you don’t even want to know how much it is going to cost you out-of-pocket to get that tooth taken care of properly, do you? Maybe you don’t have dental insurance which is all the more reason for to read on because one way or another, those teeth need taken care of now!!

Maybe you are thinking that a dental plan is the last thing you need with all the other things flying at you every day in this fast-paced world. But nothing could be farther from the truth! People clip coupons just to save a few pennies on a jar of peanut butter but a dental plan could save them hundreds of dollars over the course of a year! But how does a dental plan work? Isn’t it the same thing as dental insurance?

A dental plan is membership based but unlike dental insurance which usually requires a monthly deduction from your paycheck, there is only a one-time fee for year round savings. Any dental plan has a list of participating dentists that you can go to for services but unlike dental insurance where you are often limited to dentists in your zip code, you can see any participating dentist and receive the discounts—anywhere! And while most dental insurance covers nearly all preventative procedures, they limit disbursements on many of the treatments that most of us in the “real world” really need like fillings, extractions, root canals, dentures, and even crowns! Why should cutbacks in your employer’s plan mean cutbacks in the amount of care your teeth really need? After paying the annual fee and depending on the plan you choose, a dental plan can save you anywhere from 10-60% on the procedures you need now! Whether you have dental insurance that has been cutback to the point of almost being useless or even if you are paying for everything out-of-pocket, a dental plan is the only way to go to receive top-notch care but at reduced costs! It is NOT a question of whether a dental plan is right for you but only a question of which plan is best for you and your needs!

Contact Lenses Online Ode

2008-12-01T03:27:00.000-08:00

Purchasing contact lenses online They want...
And many a day's been spent trying to sell...
Ordered ravioli from an Italian restaurant
Now, if they only had thoughts here. They're swell.

You to be a wise consumer if you buy,
Coz from this Rolling stone I can't get a decent view.
We stuck together, our love was... But why?
And we'll end up drinking more than a few.

contact lenses, a regulated product, on the Net,
Although some rain would be as good.
My that sheep has a titanic set.
I'd like to substitute dirt for food.

Over the phone or by mail. While such purchases
I thought that rash had cleared up for good!
If all else the blazing sun, it teases
Cold. Unworn lust is released like a flood.

Are often a convenient and economical way to get
Which dealt to her a blow like soft story foam.
It's easy enough to forget,
But they will get big if you eat apple gnome.

Contact lenses, Internet, phone, or mail orders require,
And found a smallish slug in my sock.
I know you like to look at what makes you perspire,
The door is ajar, and there's a squirrel in my dock.

Consumers to exercise some caution. The following questions
As a grain of sand is, I am surrounded by your fleshy thoughts.
With just a set for thourough gradation
Twas poetic justice that the kitty was caught.

And answers should help you take simple precautions,
I lost all colours but found the Net.
Or as the trembling foot on the precipice of fractions,
The camel I love is not here yet.

To make your Internet, phone or mail purchase safe
Gently licking the salt from a pork rind.
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.
Are you gone out of your mind?

And effective for you. What do I need!
Cause after the beating they all have to wear wigs.
Man is forced to eat greed,
Cow and horse is more and big.

When buying contact lenses on the Internet,
You'd make glass butterflies.
Begin with the afternoon sonnets
But they will get big if you eat apple pies.

By phone or by mail? Is my contact lens prescription current?
My contact lens in petulant prose.
Bury it all in twelve tonnes of cement!
Oops! I think you got some on your nose...

You should always have a current, correct prescription
And then they danced in the room of ball.
Whoever taught you thermometer description
But we don't know who says it all at all.

When you order contact lenses. If you have not...
Summer burns on, and my insanity grows.
This is the season, jelly I got,
Through all this pain my roots and rows.

Had a check-up in the last one to two years,
Cury stopped the fight...
I'm going now to my closet to pick something to wear.
It was a dark & stormy night.

You may have problems with your eyes that you are
Pondering wonder, what will my thoughts anneal?
Don't ask me because I really don't care!
And the morning sun rose as I shot it with a gun of oatmeal!

Not aware of, or your contact lenses may not correct
And looked for two more lungs to clog.
Be careful there is a list of side effects,
The fisherman farmer shot his dog.

Your vision well! The expiration date for your prescription
Till their furies come, those wizened old crones...
Prisons: obey your reflection
What would thought the feeling gone.

Is currently set by your state. Some require a one-year renewal,
The fabled garb of Occidental renown.
Mashed potatoes, where's the gravy baby?
They are swirling, swirling down :-(((

Some a two-year renewal, while other states leave it.
And then, born unto the world was John Holmes, and he was good...
If my life is so grand then you live it,
Though, for all that was known it was never understood!

To your doctor to decide... Never order lenses!!!
Eat my fresh father cole slaw
I watch as steam of cowshit rises -
Someone strikes a match and I think it's just law.

With a prescription that has expired. What does a valid
Pulling my trousers down gently in the mist.
Funny Clown, bunch a balloons,
so just live who you are search for your Christ.

Contact lens prescription include? This depends on the state
While dolphins tweeted the dephts of the cloud -
Who decided she'd like to levitate.
We shouted "Turn down the music. It's too damn loud!"

Where your doctor practices. State laws often define...
Although I don't know them, They stole my dog,
I poured upon it caramel, but decided on praline.
Or would said swine be best left in a fog?

A prescription’s requirements. In states without a legal definition,
For it was his damn toe, that did commit that sin
And profound cathartic realization!
The turkeys fear the day they'll be our din-din.

The prescribing doctor includes some minimum elements.
And finally...with you...I'll be...
And other lunchroom condiments -
Now let me see if I can flee.

The minimum elements usually include your name.
Wit? 'tis absurd! Smith's Stout - not light.
The sun sparkles, and sprinkles not the rain,
It is a bird, without the flight!

And as the doctor’s name along with the contact lens
I was raped by a butterfly in fields of liquid wheet.
The air grows cold, my oatmeal thickens,
And you think I have dirty feet!

Brand name and material. Also,
Impale myself on an elephant's tusk,
That white stuff in his yard we call snow,
The hat of my uncle is under the gland of my musk...

Lens measurements such as power, diameter...
Hello, My name's Earth. Have we met?
You might find it dosen't much matter,
My drawers were all soaking wet!

And base curve are included. More detailed prescriptions include
Spam, Spam you come in that can!
Swimming in the freshness of my solitude
By the powerful yet rich MEXIcans...

Directions for safe use such as wearing schedule,
And drank the foam of the deep blue sea.
If you like, I'll give you my mule,
He stops to listen to the wings of honey bees.

Whether lenses are for daily or extended wear,
When I heard about his widowed bride...
That there was some mosquito in his ear
But why the hell should you take it in stride?

The number of refills, whether lens material substitutions
smother the fish in blankets...
Linking wonderous worlds of free expression
He somehow had missed his bucket.

Are allowed and an expiration date. Some Internet,
Some booties and a poncho would help him feel better...
Life without excitement is like fishing without a net,
looking for any sign of shelter.

Sites ask for information about your doctor so that
Then they danced in the room of ball,
Puffy, turgid, he soon found Internet...
Left, and right, while peering down the dim, bleakly hall.

They may check the prescription with your doctor.
But hear what we'll find -
Gleam the wisdom of our ancestors...
You always used to be so kind.

State laws vary greatly concerning the kind of
Surely some revelation is at hand.
With all the life and death yet more Smirnoff,
With just a wave of my inscrutable wand,

Verification that is required. Internet sites should comply with
The smell of that cheese makes me gasp...
Have you lost your faith?
Rub the cheddar with a rasp!!!

Applicable State requirements concerning verification -
Let's go play some ping-pong...
Please don't crap on america lottery nation,
I take a hit on my hooka-bong!

Of prescriptions for contact lenses. Will I get
Kill all people who cant drink mystic...
I lost all colours but found the Net,
Good cockroaches do not go ballistic.

In legal trouble if I buy my contact lenses on the Internet,
As I sit upon the willow tree.
I'm working without a net,
The molecule? No! For all that is will not be.

By phone or by mail if I don’t have a copy of my prescription?
And drank the foam of the deep blue sea.
Shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?
Is to watch the chickens flee.

You won’t break any laws, but the company selling...
And I think this is all very gamble
So far, we have had slim dwelling,
Feelin' all a jumble.

You are prescription device as if it were...
It's the motion that counts, forget about length.
Damn the dust, get it outta here,
Fill me with engorged emotions and ungoddly strength.

An over-the-counter device. In legal terms,
Or perhaps the sound of a ringing bell.
I can't decide, straight as a board, or a good fluffy perm?
Now it's drowning in the mud at the bottom of the well.

This misbrands the device. Often, the company will
Born to be an athlete I now lay here lame,
I accordance with eye's fateful fills -
This lethal conflict was once just a game.

Say that they will check back with your doctor,
I would, perhaps, think a line to be too long, if I could...
When all else fails consult you mentor,
I'd rather be a rabbit than a snail, If I should...

To confirm the prescription and expiration date,
Said the burger to the bun as the chocolate milk shake cries.
And barrows of sprung fabric, scintillate!
You'd make butterflies...

However, that may not always happen. Some Internet
Walls have ears, and there are hands on the lock.
Wildebeasts are especially rampant on the pet,
Watches and the bearded clocks.

Sites will allow you to fill out a chart with
Hi, My name's Earth. Have we met?
But somewhat perverse to be in loan biz,
But when we walk under the sun, the rain isn't falling - yet.

The ordering information about your contact lenses,
A cur occurs when one barks a slur.
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical senses,
And a long utility spurted upwards with a blur.

And ask you to fill in your doctor’s name and phone number.
Who decided she'd like to levitate...
I didn't inhale the firey cucumber!
And barrows of sprung fabric, scintillate!

The site may or may not ask for an actual copy.
A phillips mp3 player stucks in my brain!
Things are not always as they appear
Too stupid to get out of the rain.

Of your prescription, but they should comply with
Such a marvelous egg, but it's no sink with out a spout,
Definatly a first verse to be dealt with
Shout about doubt, don't pout you lout.

Applicable State law concerning contact lens
Whose pistils are worn from the friction,
A scent beyond all feathered pens
However it will cause a nice fiction.

Prescription verification. Since individual states have
Kill it before it spreads.
And cuddled with a dog named Grave,
An evil, old man, perhaps even dead.

Different licensing requirements for optical dispensers,
Who decided she'd like to levitate.
Brown girl has a couple of brown beers
Till saucy sawdust dries your deserts desolate.

Enforcement of prescription device sales -
Not all well I will listen to all you wish to tell.
I don't like aesop's fables,
Barbershop is the salvation out of that well.

Has usually been left to State authorities.
God had checked them all,
A brain smells like apple pies,
Write your wild wisdom on the toilet wall.

What harm can be done if I don’t have regular
Who then tried to feel my swollen balloons?
Now who's bowling for dollars?
Please hurry up we've got to leave soon!

Check-ups with my doctor or I order lenses
Much the road feels about a tyre.
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical sense -
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.

Without a valid prescription? At your check-up,
Enemys been hunting grandmas again!
Reality is road leading anywhere and no up -
Too stupid to get out of the rain.

Your eye doctor will re-evaluate the fit of your contact lenses,
Words through which rage, love can play.
I watch as steam of cowshit rises,
As Lewis Carroll once did say...

And observe any changes in your cornea caused by your contact lenses.
Out of the window jump the plants...
I watch as steam of cowshit rises -
All I feel like doing is eating frozen curants.

You will benefit by having a correct, current prescription,
Marketing the time, but no looking back!
Shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?
He had to inject with a rusty tack.

And you may avoid serious problems, especially
I wandered into the land of the unknown.
I like to sail on open seas, I do it very carefully
And tossed every dwarf in the town.

If you wear your lenses on an extended or overnight schedule.
Yet his expression was oblivious and blank,
If you like, i'll give you my mule,
A wild monkey spank.

Though infections of the cornea are rare,
The pseudo-taco was very bland.
But since I live on heaven I really don't care;
I said farewell and waved my sullied hand.

Severe cases can cause loss of vision and even blindness.
Aren't you sick of reading???
How cute he is in that dress
Dancing and singing...

During regularly scheduled visits, your eye doctor looks.
Poetry is an art not the midless trash you peddle,
President psyches all of us out returning all his books,
Handle the bike oiled handle.

For irregularities that, if left untreated, may lead.
We lie in bed with a girl named Zen
So much in my head,
Seas of Purple, Darkness of Men.

Too severe problems. These irregularities often have no
God, Oh God, what do you do ?
Cold lives in me knows!
He wanted to listen me but demon has grew.

Symptoms and you may be totally unaware of them.
And many a day's been spent trying to sell,
And you don't appreciate them,
Considering all this side of hell.

Contact lens wear causes many changes to cells
At the outspace bionic war commander.
Or perhaps the sound of a ringing bell
While the cow cleaned her udders.

And tissues of the eye, and sometimes wearing contact lenses
The Ancient Mariner stood nearby, grumbling...
And the scent of the sense of nonsensical sense
As if elephant could sing gambling!

Can damage the cornea (the clear window of the eye)
Searching still seeking those of my kind.
Even the room with big-sized flyes,
Perchance behind the window blind.

Even if you are currently experiencing no problems,
The loathsome axe will cut down his tree.
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere,
To be or not to be...

The lenses may be causing damage to your eyes.
And though I don't remember when I could not mask the pain,
Speculum reflection from serpent mice -
It can control his brain...

Regular check-ups will reduce the likelihood,
I'm sick of you already -
Oh God this poem's getting good...
she is real real shady.

Of damage going undetected. Contact lenses that are not
A man of most omni-sophic stature.
For our own hands seldom rot,
Any problem, sane or obscure...

Properly fitted by an eye doctor might not work well,
Imagining the hero toffing in the lane,
Not all well I will listen to all you wish to tell
But no one ever is to blame.

Or even worse, may harm your eyes.
Poked my eye out with a dipstick
So bird is a why so clouds like guys.
Oh, what a trick!

Ask your eye doctor how often to have a check-up.
And turned the fatted logs -
Funny Clown, bunch of pickups
Went swimming in the bog.

Will regular check-ups help prevent me from
I wish for the toys of my youth,
Things are not always as in Sodom
With a dozen roses in it's mouth.

Having problems with my contact lenses?
Staggering I reached hastily for the...
My heart lusts for it in my soul fences,
Our baubles, our unnecessary clothes.

Anyone wearing contact lenses runs an increased
The souls of men go tumbling down, fumbling down.
A feeling that somewhere there's something I've missed
Goat entrails are brown.

Risk of corneal infection. Regular check-ups will help
Through the Fjords of Norway.
The poodle broke wind and let out a yelp,
The horses whickered from where they lay...

Reduce your chances of having a problem. At your check-up,
Cover 'em with honey, and let the ants feast.
Reality leading anywhere but no up
Sending the suckling pig to town with blast.

Your doctor may find something that requires refitting,
Wander'd the desert and baked bread without leven?
So it can keep beating
Seems better than getting enemy number seven.

With a new lens or requires modifying your wearing schedule.
But the spirit shed has left old phantasms.
Pay the full price if you play by your rule
Wiggling around in a wild spasm.

What can I do to avoid serious problems?
Ripe juicy peaches and dripping wet plums!
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere :-(((
Until thy noticed hanging from thine gums.

With my contact lenses? Ask your eye doctor
Just as my confidence and my hair have eroded.
Gleam the wisdom of our ancestors
For as the Earth turned the hours faded.

How often you should have a check-up and see
The canine's upper lip did curl asunder.
Never mind the peaches momma, never mind the tree!
Throw them in the fire to smolder.

The doctor according to the recommended schedule
Monkeys jackals compels me to hack.
Pay the full price if you play by your rule
With a week's worth of smack.

You run a greater risk of developing serious eye problems.
I bequeath a chunk of my heart muscle to you.
Things are not always as they appear -
Fluorescent ties give me the blues.

Such as infection if you wear lenses overnight.
And wish thee never lose thy yearning for fruit loops
So save my soul, you creature of the night.
Although hapless children chewed hula-hoops.

Order your contact lenses from a supplier you are familiar -
Feelin' all a jumble.
Things are not always as they appear
Showing how much they all are unstable.

With and know is reliable. Contact lenses are often more complex.
There's nothing worse than a squishy bun.
Things are not always as in Forex -
Only to realize not watching is more fun.

Than they appear... Request the manufacturer’s written patient
And to deny that is to defame.
Illegally from the United States government,
I talk and talk about the government just the same.

Information for your contact lenses. It will give you important risk
For my lips are truly broken.
The floorboards in here are somewhat fragilisk,
Bloody candle if I'm not mistaken.

Benefit information, as well as instructions for use.
Just don't sit up and 'net all friggin' night!
And when I did, he called me a louse!
And damn, in whose fist, my left lung was caught.

Beware of attempts to substitute a different brand
When by shapes my words are known, I try...
As I stood with you hand in hand
Eggs are hard to fry...

Than you presently have. While this may be acceptable
As written rains and spoken snows.
A loofah brush sits upon my worktable
Gliding along in the canoe of life, row by row.

In some situations, there are differences in the water content
As a grain of sand is to a gizzard, I am surrounded by thoughts.
And away we went...
Wet birds dont fly at night.

And shape between different brands. The correct choice
Is the cryng Earth, its weeping shores.
I can not decide; I cannot suffer voice
Venturing out to find what was in store!

Of which lens is right for you should only be made based
We must root out the bastard commie finks
Getting the most of life, that is leased.
I will pull my finger when my eye blinks.

On examination by your doctor, not over the phone
At times like these I find a turtle very handy.
Bakes upon! Bakes upon stones
And I suck it like candy.

Carefully check to make sure the company gives you
While yodeling antelope my grandparents flaunt.
Since you ran away with up your rear end his shoe!
Hey, it all counts.

The exact brand, lens name, power, sphere, cylinder,
And kick stealthy strokes like the flemmish,
And awoke with heads like thunder
What sorrow do I feal for the naked fish.

If any, axis, if any, diameter, base curve, and
Be careful, I hate cuts.
And bury them up to their necks in sand
Where no one will laugh at my big gut.

Peripheral curves, if any. If you think you have gotten
And yet the sun shineth down for all eternity.
It's better to be welcome then to be forgotten
In its fraility.

An incorrect lens, check with your eye doctor -
All the ghosts have begun humming.
When all else fails consult Earth daughter
Far better than my drumming.

Don’t accept a substitution unless your doctor approves it.
We shouted "Turn down the music. It's too damn loud!"
You may want to get me my contact lense if you see it
While dolphins tweeted the dephts of the cloud.

Where can I report problems that I have
But oh, how this strength in me truly lies.
I read the lines in autumn leaves.
Why did Old Yeller have to die?

With my contact lenses? You can report
I fondled my hamster with glee.
Next heavenly port
The loathsome axe will cut down his tree.

A serious eye problem associated with your contact lenses,
Let your tongue wander the subtle darkened folds.
By lavashing you with gifts not involving Spam or mooses
At skies whose dreams they cannot hold

With MedWatch reporting form. Also, contact your
Cheeses about in the firmament flound.
I finally was able to get out some semblance around four
So overly abound

Health professional for medical advice. You can report
And thus triumphed in the life you chose.
Next heavenly port,
The salt and juice are loose.

Problems involving contact lens sales
Tick tock meowed the clock.
Or rather lumpy tables
She knows he comes from only the finest stock.

If you do not get the exact lenses that you ordered,
Lifting Ye head from betwixed her thighs.
My toast it was buttered
Or the otters will sigh.

You should report the problem directly
He thought, "This would make a great story to tell!"
My produce watches defiantly
I travel, forseeing the need to spell.

To the company that supplied them.
Lordy, dear, where have you gone?
I turned green and spewed half chicken files at chem.
The idiots patrol the borders of the bone.

Considerations To Make When Purchasing Contact Lenses Online

The FDA wants you to be a wise consumer if you buy contact lenses, an FDA-regulated product, on the Internet, over the phone or by mail. While such purchases are often a convenient and economical way to get lenses, Internet, phone, or mail orders require consumers to exercise some caution. The following questions and answers should help you take simple precautions to make your Internet, phone or mail purchase safe and effective for you.

What do I need to consider when buying contact lenses on the Internet, by phone or by mail?

Is my contact lens prescription current? You should always have a current, correct prescription when you order contact lenses.

If you have not had a check-up in the last one to two years, you may have problems with your eyes that you are not aware of, or your contact lenses may not correct your vision well.

The expiration date for your prescription is currently set by your state. Some require a one-year renewal, some a two-year renewal, while other states leave it to your doctor to decide.

Never order lenses with a prescription that has expired.

What does a valid contact lens prescription include?

This depends on the state where your doctor practices. State laws often define a prescription’s requirements. In states without a legal definition, the prescribing doctor includes some minimum elements.

The minimum elements usually include your name and the doctor’s name along with the contact lens brand name and material. Also, lens measurements such as power, diameter and base curve are included.

More detailed prescriptions will include directions for safe use such as wearing schedule, whether lenses are for daily or extended wear, the number of refills, whether lens material substitutions are allowed and an expiration date.

Some Internet sites ask for information about your doctor so that they may check the prescription with your doctor. State laws vary greatly concerning the kind of verification that is required. Internet sites should comply with applicable State requirements concerning verification of prescriptions for contact lenses.

Will I get in legal trouble if I buy my contact lenses on the Internet, by phone or by mail if I don’t have a copy of my prescription?

You won’t break any laws, but the company is selling you a prescription device as if it were an over-the-counter device. In legal terms, this misbrands the device. Often, the company will say that they will check back with your doctor to confirm the prescription and expiration date; however, that may not always happen.

Some Internet sites will allow you to fill out a chart with the ordering information about your contact lenses and ask you to fill in your doctor’s name and phone number. The site may or may not ask for an actual copy of your prescription, but they should comply with applicable State law concerning contact lens prescription verification.

Since individual states have different licensing requirements for optical dispensers, enforcement of prescription device sales has usually been left to State authorities.

What harm can be done if I don’t have regular check-ups with my doctor or I order lenses without a valid prescription?

At your check-up, your eye doctor will re-evaluate the fit of your contact lenses and observe any changes in your cornea caused by your lenses. You will benefit by having a correct, current prescription and you may avoid serious problems, especially if you wear your lenses on an extended or overnight schedule.

Though infections of the cornea are rare, severe cases can cause loss of vision and even blindness. During regularly scheduled visits, your eye doctor looks for irregularities that, if left untreated, may lead to severe problems. These irregularities often have no symptoms and you may be totally unaware of them.

Contact lens wear causes many changes to cells and tissues of the eye, and sometimes wearing contact lenses can damage the cornea (the clear window of the eye). Even if you are currently experiencing no problems, the lenses may be causing damage to your eyes. Regular check-ups will reduce the likelihood of damage going undetected.

Contact lenses that are not properly fitted by an eye doctor might not work well, or even worse, may harm your eyes.

Ask your eye doctor how often to have a check-up.

Will regular check-ups help prevent me from having problems with my contact lenses?

Anyone wearing contact lenses runs an increased risk of corneal infection. Regular check-ups will help reduce your chances of having a problem. At your check-up, your doctor may find something that requires refitting with a new lens or requires modifying your wearing schedule.

What can I do to avoid serious problems with my contact lenses?

Ask your eye doctor how often you should have a check-up and see the doctor according to the recommended schedule.

You run a greater risk of developing serious eye problems such as infection if you wear lenses overnight.

Order your contact lenses from a supplier you are familiar with and know is reliable. Contact lenses are often more complex than they appear.

Request the manufacturer’s written patient information for your contact lenses. It will give you important risk/benefit information, as well as instructions for use.

Beware of attempts to substitute a different brand than you presently have. While this may be acceptable in some situations, there are differences in the water content and shape between different brands. The correct choice of which lens is right for you should only be made based on examination by your doctor, not over the phone.

Carefully check to make sure the company gives you: the exact brand, lens name, power (sphere, cylinder, if any, axis, if any), diameter, base curve, and peripheral curves, if any.

If you think you have gotten an incorrect lens, check with your eye doctor. Don’t accept a substitution unless your doctor approves it.

Where can I report problems that I have with my contact lenses?

You can report a serious eye problem associated with your contact lenses with FDA’s MedWatch reporting form at: http://www.fda.gov/medwatch. Also, contact your health professional for medical advice.

You can report problems involving contact lens sales by Web sites by sending e-mail to webcomplaints@ora.fda.gov.

If you do not get the exact lenses that you ordered, you should report the problem directly to the company that supplied them.

Wesley Atkins is the owner of 'Contact Lenses Advisor' a website dedicated to advising consumers about buying contact lenses safely online. You can visit his website at http://www.contact-lenses-advisor.com.

Obtaining A Home Loan Poem

2008-11-28T10:10:00.000-08:00

Home buyers are often confused about...
Since in this life there is no safe bet!
And she lost all her whey both inside and out.
And all that you long for is all you will get.

Where to begin in their search for a home loan.
Birds evaporate into a sky greenly tainted...
My poor weary body groans,
My lips, so hungry, sealed her journey, before it was started.

The process is usually narrowed down to finding.
And I think this is all very tiring!
I like golf putting -
Please please don't think I'm a nutter.

Which institutions provide the lowest settlement costs -
shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?
So now I just wander, my feelings are taost:
It's time for deep inner-reflection!

But the different types of lending institutions -
Boogy-Woogy in the deep dark wilds of the Bahamas.
However it will cause a nice contusion:
colors like the smell of trout in my pajamas.

...And the variety of lending programs,
So I cut throat with a wire
Not aware it took the tram -
I know you like to look at what makes you perspire.

Available can make the search a slow, difficult experience.
Ground up human toes blended with potted ham.
Softer than her own screaming silence
But again I declare the need for self-discovery, for I am no yam!

Real estate settlement costs are fees buyers normally pay
At skies whose dreams they cannot hold.
Now just shut up and listen, to what I've got to say:
Our pretzels are stale, our longings are old...

When purchasing a home such as legal services property insurance
But only God can make a simile!
And all got up and left at once.
And the frogs sniff glitter glue, and dance on the stile.

Mortgage loan financing and title services.
That's anatomically-correct!
And spits the seeds in others' faces -
I hit the sand and crawled toward the vascilating object.

In the past, consumers would have to call each lender.
Death answers in its own peculiar way...
Watch the chicken sit and moulder,
Codfish smell bad on market day.

Request an estimate of their settlement costs,
A chicken would be more preferable,
So I dove headlong, through the posts.
Is poetry quantifiable?

And compare all of the results to find,
Swimming in black tendrils, feeling annoyed.
Still the tears fell, and the fury of the wind...
Each leaf is destroyed.

Which lender offered the lowest total settlement costs.
sweet eloquence is adversarial rot.
I've cleaned up all the guests,
He vaporized the cat! A mistake? Not!

The Department of Housing and Urban Development, however,..
Although I don't know her, she stole my dog -
I feel 'tis wrong to simply pull a lever.
Who, clothed, then mock the naked hogs.

Recently revised the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act
shout about doubt, don't pout you lout!
I've grown too old to act -
Is there an easy way out?

Which now makes it easier for consumers,
As the tide of timef low relentlessly onward,
Moored among the coasters and lighters,
Cuz beauty is something so rarely heard...

To estimate various settlement costs
I wandered into the land of the unknown.
I've cleaned up all the guests,
But the stiching got me down.

Through computer loan origination programs,
Rumblety-bump, all the way to the village...
Spurs snick, thighs smack hot equine hams,
My baby's Daddy is three times my age.

In this manner, consumers can access a computer listing
And I think this is all very tiring...
But I remember nothing
but the spirit shed has left old phantasms.

Of various programs offered by lending institutions.
Well, sort of like your uncle, rather,
Post cereal dibbling fusion -
Many a wistful wife who yearned for hers.

The computer search speeds the reviewing process
But remember to check yourself for fleas...
Surely you guess, that I am no less,
Where did I leave those frozen peas?

Various programs and allows participants to arrange.
Poetry is an art not the midless trash you peddle.
Give me something that rhymes with orange -
Handle the bike oiled handle.

Financing with the listed lender,
Strewn 'cross the floor in such a mess.
And awoke with heads like thunder,
And the cockroach scutters silently into darkness.

Buyers using a computer loan origination program
Go forth and plunder thee.
Filling my broth with marjoram
The smoke-shrouded chain saw kicked out of the tree.

May be required to pay a fee for this service,
Just sniff the air and then smile!
The guilded zamboni glides over the ice,
Glistening as the date, shrivelled as an empty reptile.

But many buyers feel the convenience outweighs the cost.
A scent beyond all feathered ken,
So I dove headlong, through the posts,
Errant time, it passes with a stumble, drunken.

Still, the new changes require a real estate broker.
A name in any non-prose is still a name.
Who happens to be a cake baker!
The sun sparkles, and sprinkles not the rain.

With a computer loan origination program
In a world of haves and have-nots,
Not aware it took the tram -
A great big room of apricots.

To inform the buyer that the service is only an option,
Too stupid to get out of the rain,
Please don't crap on my lottery nation...
I think this poem's gettin lame.

And that non-listed lenders may offer lower rates or fees.
And each puddle sublime
Spewing venom throughout the trees,
Vicariously asleep and tired with time...

The new Federal Regulations also permit...
Gently licking the salt from a pork rind!
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.
You feed your psyche ideas so unkind.

Real estate brokers to offer more comprehensive services,..
Thus Every picture tells a lie
And spitting out hair lice
If you eat it you will die so i suggest an apple pie.

To home buyers by allowing brokers to enter into
And the moon looks down, it's looking at a dime,
And drinking the sweat upon my brow.
Time is money; Money is time!

Controlled business arrangements with other companies
Curried weird with deadened breath.
But they will get big if you eat apple pies
The bird has died a thousand deaths...

Associated with the home buying process -
It's time for deep inner-reflection.
And the cockroach scutters silently into darkness.
Shall I not be had by the Lord in derision?

Real estate brokers were always allowed to refer,
A western wind has just been born...
Things are not always as they appear.
A mother, unrecognizable as head was shorn.

Buyers to lending institutions, title companies,
A mosquito resting upon an eroding dock.
Like a dream that flows in rivers of despair it flies
I tripped on a vicker's pet rock.

And escrow companies, but they were not permitted to accept
If covered just slightly with relish.
Things are not always as they appear,
Cure your rhyme fetish!

Compensation from those institutions for giving a referral,
Watching the chunky bits float gently to the ground.
Things are not always as they appear...
As cheeses about in the firmament flound.

The changes now allow real estate brokers to enter
And left a goat for hire.
Yet in the cellar my pet still swelters
Of a burning four-ply tire.

Into partnerships or actually open their own mortgage service,
Beating yourself in the head all the while,
And yellow penguins began to carve the ice
Glistening as the date, shrivelled as an empty reptile.

This allows brokers to provide virtual “one-stop shopping”
And I think this is all very tiring.
Nostrils aflair, square jaw jutting,
We gave of the flower and said it was ours. :-(((

By handling the entire settlement process,
Yet his expression was oblivious and blank...
How cute He is in that dress!
Just a shame she likes robbing banks.

Changes were made to help home buyers learn about
Singing out like a crazed iron smelter,
And the kool-aid stains never did come out
Of barks and fingers like water.

And obtaining mortgage services more conveniently
I woke up ate jelly and combed my hair in anticipation of the storm
While the circumcised wren burbles efulgently...
Isn't not fitting in supposed to be the norm?

Since Real Estate Act helps consumers to understand the process
I really need to stop wearing green slacks.
Make love, it hurts less
Man, this poem sucks!!!

Of home ownership, the regulations may encourage more!
My senses disengaged resting comfortably numb
The crying Earth, its weeping shores -
Happy, care free little cherubs with milk moustaches and oreo crumbs.

Potential buyers further stimulate the real estate market.
Why is it Bill Gates looks like a frog?
Who on a dark drunken night went into a bucket,
Or would said swine be best left in a fog???

Comparing The True Cost Of Obtaining A Home Loan

Home buyers are often confused about where to begin in their search for a home loan. The process is usually narrowed down to finding which institutions provide the lowest settlement costs, but the different types of lending institutions and the variety of lending programs available can make the search a slow, difficult experience.

Real estate settlement costs are fees buyers normally pay when purchasing a home such as legal services property insurance, mortgage loan financing and title services. In the past, consumers would have to call each lender, request an estimate of their settlement costs and compare all of the results to find which lender offered the lowest total settlement costs.

The Department of Housing and Urban Development, however, recently revised the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act (RESPA) which now makes it easier for consumers to estimate various settlement costs through computer loan origination programs. In this manner, consumers can access a computer listing of various programs offered by lending institutions.

The computer search speeds the process of reviewing various programs and allows participants to arrange financing with the listed lender. Buyers using a computer loan origination program may be required to pay a fee for this service, but many buyers feel the convenience outweighs the cost. Still, the new RESPA changes require a real estate broker with a computer loan origination program to inform the buyer that the service is only an option and that non-listed lenders may offer lower rates or fees.

The new Federal Regulations also permit real estate brokers to offer more comprehensive services to home buyers by allowing brokers to enter into controlled business arrangements with other companies associated with the home buying process. Real estate brokers were always allowed to refer buyers to lending institutions, title companies and escrow companies, but they were not permitted to accept compensation from those institutions for giving a referral. The RESPA changes now allow real estate brokers to enter into partnerships or actually open their own mortgage service institutions. This allows brokers to provide virtual “one-stop shopping” by handling the entire settlement process.

RESPA changes were made to help home buyers learn about and obtain mortgage services more conveniently. Since RESPA helps consumers to understand the process of home ownership, the regulations may encourage more potential buyers and further stimulate the real estate market.

W. Troy Swezey is the author of 'COMPARING THE TRUE COST OF OBTAINING A HOME LOAN'. As a Realtor at Century 21 Paul & Associates, he has helped many individuals with their real estate needs. Visit his web site to download his free e-book, 'REAL ESTATE SECRETS EXPOSED' at http://www.TroyIsMyRealtor.com.

Press Release On Time Serenade

2008-05-30T06:36:00.000-07:00

Bearing in mind the wide range of news
I need a job with better pay...
In mind for change of little blues
The horses whickered from where they lay.

You might announce and the wide range...
But a listenable rhyme contributes a smile
I love to eat an orange
That upon a fortnight could bring a pile

Time Your News Release For Maximum Publicity

"Cindy, where's that story? I need it yesterday!"

"Coming right up, boss. I'll have it to you soon," Cindy shouted back.

"Yesterday isn't soon enough!"

Cindy clicked on her screen. "You have mail." She looked at the messages. "Three news releases," she murmured. "I don't have time for this now." [delete] [delete] [delete]

Stop! Was that your news release Cindy just deleted? Too bad you sent it to her at the wrong time. You may have heard that "timing is everything" and that is even more true in a newsroom. But how do you know when is the best time to send a news release?

Media relations is an art more than a science, so there is no single rule. If there was, everyone would be a media star. Here are a few guidelines to help you zoom ahead of your competition for the media's attention:

Each type of media and each type of journalist is different. Here are just a few of the variables:

National or local media

TV, newspaper, radio or magazine

News reporter, features reporter or columnist

Consumer magazine or trade journal

Daily, weekly or monthly publication

Print or electronic

Each company or organization is different, as is its news. Here are just a few of the variables:

Local, national or international operations

Pre-scheduled news release, or last-minute reaction to today's news.

Product announcement, policy announcement, financial announcement

Bearing in mind the wide range of news you might announce and the wide range of media targets, 9:30 to 11:00 a.m. tends to be the best time of day to release news. You want to give the assignment editor time to send them out to cover your news. If you hope to get into the noon news, you don't want to go too late, because you run into TV deadlines. Early afternoon is a second-best time, but if you get much past 2:30, you will catch Cindy's [delete] button at most daily newspapers and television stations.

I have been asked about the best day of the week to send out a news release. There isn't one. I have seen plenty of debates on this. From personal experience, the only difference I ever noticed is when I could pick a slow news day. For instance, if in your city the daily newspaper can be reached on Sunday and not too much tends to happen that day in your subject area, you may find it easier to get into Monday's newspaper than if you try later in the week. But on average, there is not much difference.

Best time of month, year, etc? Again, there is no single best time. There is one golden rule. Do not send out a release when the world is wrapped up in some all-consuming event like the death of Princess Diana or the attack on the World Trade Center. Remember how much TV airtime and newspaper print space were devoted to those events? The media and its audiences had other things on their minds than your news. You can't control events, but you can control the timing of your release (most of the time).

How far in advance should you send out your release? Some book reviewers usually need several months. Others don't want to see your release until the book is on the store shelves. Many consumer magazines have a six-month editorial preview. Features editors often run several weeks ahead of time, but sometimes squeeze things in on short notice. News departments want only breaking news. Yesterday's news is ... well, yesterday's news. Your release is already forgotten.

Does all this sound confusing. It is. The bottom line in any marketing is to know your target market and give it what it wants. Same with the media. The guidelines above give a very abbreviated list of what you need to consider. If you are still unsure, a media coach might be a good investment. But be forewarned – find someone with enough experience and success to coach you in the right direction.

After a decade and a half as one of Canada's top consumer advocates, often conducting over 600 media interviews each year, David Leonhardt is sharing his knowledge with others. Pick up a copy of his special report "Get In The News!" at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/PR.html.. Home page is http://www.TheHappyGuy.com

amabaie@phastnet.com.

More and Better Marketing Verse

2008-05-30T06:33:00.000-07:00

Many sales problems can be solved
By sickly sweet smell of lost touch as they have...
Reality through the brain is the world involved
floating in the quiet ecstasy of cobalt wave.

Does Your Company Need More Marketing? Or Just Better Marketing?

Many sales problems can be solved by improved marketing. Selling harder is often not the solution. More . . . or just better . . . marketing may be what's needed. Marketing presents a special problem for any company that has not yet developed a professionally staffed marketing department. This article looks at the various marketing functions. It describes some successful approaches to determining when to add "more" marketing to your company.
In The Beginning
Most successful companies grow from a small enterprise based on the founder's idea or vision. In the early stages, the founder usually plays many roles. It's common to see a founder handling engineering and/or sales roles. As the company succeeds and grows, many of these tasks are delegated to others.
The one area most often key to the long term success of the company is the function of marketing. This article covers:

The marketing functions
The problems they can prevent or solve
The contributions you can expect from marketing

Marketing: The Difference Between Buying And Selling

The definition of marketing has been attempted by many authors. It is commonly referred to as the process of relating the potential customers' needs and wants to the company, and then addressing the company's solutions to meet those needs and wants back to the marketplace.

We have described marketing as the process of focusing on Who the customer really is, and What the customer is actually buying from you . . . rather than what you're selling. What customers can buy from your firm . . . that they cannot buy from another . . . is the real reason they do business with you.

The marketing functions within your company that support this work can be divided into product marketing and marketing services to support demand creation and sales. Both functions are necessary to have an effective marketing effort. However, they are distinct. How much of each you need . . . and who should perform these duties . . . are important issues.

What Is Product Marketing?

The classic definition of product marketing includes the issues of product, price, promotion, and sales channel (place). The concept of product marketing holds true whether your company is a "product" or a "service" company. In the case of a service company, your "product" is the service provided.

To succeed, these product marketing issues (product, price, promotion, and place) must be handled so they are effective from the customer's point of view. In the beginning, these issues are usually a key part of the founder's vision. When the company succeeds, they often become too complex . . . and too important . . . to be handled part-time, by the chief executive.

Product marketing works over two different frameworks, each important, and fundamentally very different. These two areas are strategic and tactical.

Strategic Marketing

Strategic product marketing is the future component of the marketing problem. Strategic issues include:

What business is your company in?
What business should you be in?
What products or services should be designed and offered?
What technical capabilities need to be developed within the company or acquired from outside the company?

Other related strategic issues include:

Marketing channel strategies (How do you reach your customers, then sell and deliver the goods?)
Competitive positioning (What sets your company apart in the minds of your customers?)
A complete understanding of, and ability to communicate to customers, What they can buy from your company that they cannot buy from any other company.

The strategic role requires a person who is a generalist, with a broad view of the market, the industry, and the company. This is the role most usually maintained by the founder/CEO. Portions of this strategic function may be provided by a senior marketing manager or by outside consultants.

Tactical Marketing

Tactical product marketing deals with issues that relate to the success of current products or services. These include:

New products or services introductions
Promotion of existing products
Development of marketing programs and literature that are effective in reaching the customer
Communicating the unique position that separates your company from your competitors
Ensuring that the sales channels are being used effectively to reach customers

The development of tactical plans is a product marketing function. The execution of some of these tactical items may be accomplished by marketing services, as described next.

The tactical role requires a person with the desire and skills to "get it done." Both tactical and strategic roles require great communications skills, and the ability to deal successfully with a wide range of peo-ple, both inside and outside your company.

What Are Marketing Services?

Marketing Services executes tactical marketing programs. This may include sales contests, public relations, advertising, trade shows, dealer programs, direct mail campaigns, etc. This function manages or provides the creative, and produces items such as brochures, advertisements, press releases, trade shows, etc.

There is obviously an overlap between tactical marketing and marketing services in the area of defining and planning these programs. A senior, experienced, marketing services professional may be able to perform some of the functions of tactical marketing. Unfortunately, many times we place an excellent marketing services person in a position which really is tactical marketing . . . and the results are not satisfactory.

Marketing Services' function is to create and manage the tools, support materials, and collateral that tactical marketing has determined necessary to effectively implement the programs designed to achieve the strategy.

Skilled marketing services professionals have excellent input regarding these tools and materials to assure effective results. Asking them to perform the tactical product marketing function is quite another thing!

What Do Marketing Problems Look Like?

Sometimes it's easy to see a marketing problem. One example of this is a stalled product.

You've spent many months developing a new product and feel sure of its merits in the marketplace. You've introduced the product, but it seems to be going nowhere. What do you need to do to take advantage of your investment and ensure the success of the new product (and perhaps your company)?

Should you lower the price?
Should you raise the price?
Do you need to spend money on advertising?
Do you need to kick off a public relations campaign?
Do you need new sales channels, or do you need a program to "kick start" your existing channels?

Obviously some of these issues are tactical product marketing. Some may involve marketing services, or the problem may be fundamentally strategic.

Possibly, you have an unneeded or unwanted product or service. Maybe you have not fully determined what the differences are your product or service provides which are valuable to potential customers.

Another example of a potential marketing challenge is an important new product introduction.

How do you ensure that you get the best press coverage?
Should you introduce the product at a trade show? Or with a press conference? Or with a press tour?
What literature and sales tools will you need?
Does this new product (or service) fit your existing sales channel?
What is the competitive environment in which this product will be introduced?
How should the product be priced and positioned to take maximum advantage of the competitive situation
What do your prospective customers think of the new product?

Again, some of these problems are tactical and some are Marketing Services. Executing an effective new product launch by relegating the planning and execution to Marketing Services, or worse, to your advertising agency, is a mistake. Given that 90% of new product introductions fail to achieve their sales goals, perhaps it's time to consider that the execution may not be the problem. Perhaps there was never a viable plan.

Sometimes it's more difficult to recognize the problem as belonging to marketing. It can still clearly be rooted there however. An example of this is the conflict between sales and the factory. Often the conflict looks like this:

The salespeople are frustrated. They see opportunity they can't turn into business, and they blame the factory for not listening to them, and for being unresponsive.

The sales person says, "Why don't they hear what I am telling them?" The factory staff in this case is often frustrated with field sales. "Why can't they just sell what we have?", is a common question from the factory.

Are the salespeople just complaining, so you should disregard them? Are the factory people being too "hardheaded?" Or is it possible that a marketing job, clearly defining the position of the product and communication of this to sales, has not been done?

If sales does not know the positioning, you will be getting inconsistent results and information from them. Has this happened to you?

Some marketing problems are easier to identify. You have an idea for a wonderful new product. But,

What features should it have?
What is the importance to your customers of each feature?
Is there something else even more important about which you are unaware?
How do you tell the story of the product so that you can get your sales people excited, and your customers to buy?

To answer these questions, what do you do? Do you conduct a focus group? Or a user survey? By phone, or letter, or face-to-face interviews? Or just design it, release it, and hope you were right?

The bottomline is that all of the above scenarios describe marketing problems which can be solved with the right marketing talent. Whether that expertise is full-time or a part-time, on-staff or from outside services are trade-offs you make to get the best solution your budget can afford.

Final Thoughts

The key to marketing is to see your company as you are seen by your customers. If you're satisfied with your company's results and feel that the future of your company is secure, then you may have all the marketing you need.

If you feel better results are needed, that you should be selling more, or your profits should be higher, or you should be doing a better job of satisfying your customers . . . then you should seriously consider adding marketing talent to your team.

Author, Mitchell Gooze, is the president and founder of Customer Manufacturing Group. For a free subscription to Customer Manufacturing Updates, e-mail us at info@customermfg.com, call (800) 947-0140 or visit the company website at www.customermanufacturing.com.

Forgotten Marketing Opus

2008-05-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

Tactical marketing processes are once again -
It's probably pining for the fiords.
They are been hunting grandmas pain:
A terrible tastless seemless word.

Forget Conventional Marketing - Embrace the Web!

Tactical marketing processes are once again undergoing fundamental shifts from traditional to web-based processes. Many traditional marketing firms/agencies are still touting the tried and true to their clients; i.e. Tradeshow attendance, Print, Traditional PR, TV and Radio. However, these conventional marketing processes work best for broad market awareness and/or branding, especially for a Fortune 1K company with significant resources to spend on demographic analysis, test marketing and more test marketing. It's much more difficult for a smaller company (startup to $50M per annum) to leverage the economies of scale that are typically available for a larger company for the media buy and operational efficiencies.

It's obvious that lifestyle and business processes are shifting towards a much greater dependence on digital media - people are traveling less due to cost issues and the ever-increasing speed of business is underscoring the usage of the Internet for information and research. If you're a small to medium sized business the chances are that you've probably cut your marketing budget significantly - by eliminating or scaling back tradeshow attendance, trade magazine advertising and/or direct mail in favor of response driven marketing on the web that can be deployed faster and more cost-effectively than traditional marketing methods.

Capturing leads from a web site generated by opt-in e-mail, newsletter inserts, text link advertising and/or other forms of pay per click marketing is still the absolute best way to generate leads that are quantifiable as soon as they are generated. You have the ability to easily track where the lead came from and via what interactive advertising process; assuming this has been setup for you by your interactive ad agency or with the online publisher. And, there are typically no lead times like more traditional marketing processes - we've created and deployed campaigns (creative, media buy, testing, ROI analysis, etc.) for our clients in 3-5 working days in some cases.

There are some pitfalls to web-based lead generation and follow through that you need to be aware of as you deploy an interactive campaign. Here are five of the most important "gotchas" that you need to think about as you build an interactive lead generation program around your web site:

1) Don't make it difficult for people to contact your company - make sure your web site really communicates with your prospects - by "communicating" I mean by providing telephone contacts, e-mail address and/or a lead capture form that is short. Note: this form has to be supported by a published Privacy Policy ("we won't divulge your info to a third party under any circumstances") and it absolutely must be short; i.e. don't request any more than baseline information, name, phone, e-mail and address, augmented with a comment box.

2) Your marketing objectives have to be supported by your sales team - the sales team has to be incentivized to respond to inbound e-mails and requests for information via a contact form in a timely manner, within 24 hours or sooner. If you have a geographically dispersed sales team then make this clear on the web site by providing specific contact points for states, regions and countries.

3) Make sure you IT person/department attends your marketing planning meetings with your sales team - your web site will need some type of a lead capture setup that redistributes leads based on function and/or geographical responsibility. Your IT staff has to create a database solution that captures, stores and distributes leads - this does not need to be done in-house, products like Act (the market leader in contact management software) are now web-enabled, you can capture leads via a web server and share leads with others via a browser and very inexpensively.

4) We don't advocate popup advertising for most of our client's advertising campaigns. But, we have "crossed over to the other side" and we do (highly) recommend using popups on our clients' web sites to present opportunities that in turn capture leads. Studies have shown effective popup lead captures increase lead generation by 40-85% depending on the market segment. Popups can be set so they only launch on a frequency basis per session (visit to a web site) or a number of times for a specific visitor - they don't have to setup so they are intrusive and annoying.

5) Last but not least (drum roll) - make the customer's usability experience the most important aspect of your web site. Create a user interface ("experience") that is pleasant for your visitors; i.e. use standard universal (top of page and local page left) menus, utilize 2-3 sentence paragraphs with lots of white space, don't overload your pages with graphics that slow down load times and make sure your contact points (phone, e-mail) are readily available from every page.

So, to summarize; advertising is shifting from traditional to web-based or interactive if you will - so, to get on board this tsunami build a web site that communicates with your prospects/customers, provide contact points via telephone and e-mail via the site, involve your IT and Sales staff with the lead capture process so they are all stakeholders and utilize popups to accelerate your lead capturing.

Author, Philippa Gamse, CyberSpeaker, is an internationally recognized e-business strategist. Check out her free tipsheet "Beyond the Search Engines" for 17 ideas to promote your Website: http://www.CyberSpeaker.com/tipsheet.html. Philippa can be reached at (831) 465-0317 or mailto:pgamse@CyberSpeaker.com.

E-Mail Marketing Real Ode

2008-05-30T06:29:00.000-07:00

Spam e-mail is no longer the mild
Of all aspirations like fish on the bank.
But how could I I'm just a child!
But hey, the fish out of water stank!

New Realities for E-Mail Marketing

Spam e-mail is no longer the mild irritant it once was - it's clogging corporate networks and ISP mail servers and has become a real productivity drain, forcing corporate and consumer e-mail users to spend 20-30 minutes a day dealing with this deluge of junk! According to recent figures, unsolicited bulk e-mail now makes up to 36% of all e-mail, up from under 8% just over a year ago. And, what's worse, more and more legitimate e-mail is not getting through to recipients due to Spam filtering taking place via ISPs and/or corporate networks.

Opt-in E-Mail Marketing 30K foot Picture

Opt-in e-mail marketing is clearly losing some of its effectiveness as a viable marketing tool much to the consternation of those of us who have been advocating its effectiveness for years! This is not to say opt-in e-mail isn't a viable way to market goods and services - but ROI (read response rates) is heading south quickly and needs to be considered when assessing the viability of this marketing process, as response rates have dropped on average from 10-20% to 3-10%.

However, opt-in e-mail is not disappearing off the marketing horizons - Forrester forecasts spending on e-mail marketing will grow from $1.3B (USD) in 2001 to $6.8B in 2006 and Jupiter Media Metrix is even more optimistic, forecasting growth rates from $1B in 2001 to $9.4B in 2006. But, there is a dark undercurrent to these numbers that is fueling the market growth and driving down response rates - some opt-in agencies, brokers and media representatives are "flogging" lists by overselling them - so caveat emptor.

Five Offsetting Marketing Strategies

1) Deploy opt-in e-mail campaigns very selectively (!) - buy opt-in e-mail lists from legitimate top-tier broker/list managers who are well established, are not "over-sending" messages to list subscribers and who are constantly refreshing their list quality by adding new subscribers. Critical questions to ask brokers include: how many messages ("frequency" in ad speak) are sent to each list recipient per month, how are new subscribers added and what is the percentage of new members added per month, are they using "third party" (someone else's list) lists to augment their own, are their lists "double opt in" (meaning, you sign up and then must reply to a signup confirmation to be added to a list) and last but not least, what is their privacy policy and how strictly do they adhere to published industry standards.

2) Utilize plain vanilla text link advertising - find web sites or portals that have traffic that is comprised of customers who are in your market segment. Then, add a text link (banner ad or graphic button if you will) to a page or pages and negotiate a media buy that is based upon a "cost per click" basis; i.e. paying only for traffic that clicks through to your web site.

3) Creating and deploying a "link strategy" campaign (i.e. getting a site listed via other web sites) is one of the best self-sustaining interactive marketing processes available to any company seeking to drive qualified traffic to a web site. This process is not based upon the more traditional "reciprocal links" procedure but incorporates some web-based competitive analysis. You start by analyzing the links that are pointing back to your top 3-5 competitors' web sites and then establish relationships with these sites and also submit your site to top and second tier directories to augment the number of links.

4) Newsletter insert advertising used to be considered rather mundane and not very effective. But, if you contrast the effectiveness of this process versus the new opt-in e-mail response rates the heretofore-lowly newsletter advertising has new and vastly improved luster! Also, in the past it was difficult to track when and if people clicked on a text link ad in a newsletter - but new technology enables virtually any publisher to provide you with this information, enabling you to track your ROI for the media buy. Finally, the real beauty of newsletter text advertising is that it is very targeted and people want to receive the information so you can be confident your ad will at least be viewed by some finite number of prospects.

5) Search Engine Ranking has come of age in the last 12-24 months - you can now easily create and deploy a traditional (title, description, keywords inserts in content, submissions and optimization) search engine ranking process that is augmented with a pay per click ("PPC") process. Deploying both ensures you derive long term (traditional rankings) and short term (pay per click) results, with the latter being driven by the amount of funds you have in your marketing budget.

Author, Lee Traupel, has 20 plus years of marketing experience - he is the founder of Intelective Communications, Inc. http://www.intelective.com a marketing services company which provides strategic and tactical marketing services exclusively to small to medium sized companies. Lee@intelective.com Reprinted with permission from Intelective Communications - this article may be reprinted freely, provided this attribution box remains intact. (c) by Intelective Communications, Inc.
Lee@intelective.com.

Wrong Marketing Poem

2008-05-30T06:28:00.000-07:00

Fundamental Strategic Marketing Mistakes to Avoid

This is a pretty tough global economy and it is critical for a company to leverage every bit of their marketing resources. So, if this is the case, why are so many companies shooting themselves in the proverbial foot by breaking some of the most fundamental rules of marketing? It's a very simple question with complex answers - here are some of the pitfalls to avoid:

1) Believing a second rate web site communicates integrity: So many web sites are just plain funky looking (graphics, text, menus, etc.) - nice professional term, but it's descriptive of some of the dreck that passes for web site design. A company should not forget that perception is reality on the web and people aren't going to do business with a company that can't field a decent web site - end of story!

2) Deploying a marketing strategy that's all over the map: Is Yahoo a Search Engine, a Portal or a Hollywood Media company? They are the classic 3D hologram advertisement for a company that can't figure out what it wants to be when it grows up. A company must pick a marketing strategy and then stay the course - changing direction every time the wind shifts is not a good business strategy and creates more motion than action.

3) Forgetting real brand development: Branding became the ".com" rallying cry for every newby wet behind the ears with an Internet dream to become a billionaire by selling dog food on the web (I'll leave the sock puppet out of this) - we all know this didn't work. But that does not mean a company should ignore brand development - it's important to remember that a good brand is built one marketing process at a time; everything that a company publishes, develops or communicate is part of the brand building process, which in turn defines the company's market position.

4) Ignoring distribution channels by selling direct via an ecommerce web site: A company should not build and launch an ecommerce site and start selling direct to customers and forget about a distribution channel. It's imperative to give the customer the choice to buy direct from your company or locate a distribution channel partner via a look up capability on the site. And, if you really want to win the hearts and mind of a channel never sell below retail (SRP) - and afford the channel the opportunity to discount your product so they can compete effectively with you.

5) Making competitive analysis a low priority: Too many companies forget about their competitors after the business plan has been written. They don't take the time to review them on a periodic basis and try and figure out how to deliver goods and services differently, which in turn drives competitive advantage and a long-term sustainable business model.

6) Poorly thought out Investor Relations press release: Do companies actually think investors are just plain stupid and don't really read an IR (Investor Relations) directed Press Release carefully? Investors are typically very bottom line oriented - they want to know about revenue growth and real strategic partnership developments that help the company grow and not much else. Just throwing fluff out in the market and hoping this will drive investors to invest is just plain shortsighted stupidity.

7) Thinking any/all consultants know your business better than you: Reporters and consultants (including this one) have driven just as many companies into the ground with bad advice as much as they have helped them - companies must realize a consultant is typically not down in the trenches and they can make some bad calls - it's important to filter their advice.

8) Letting the inmates run the asylum - customers should help a company refine its product marketing strategy by working as partners. If engineering tells marketing "the customer doesn't really know what they want but we do" the red lights should start flashing danger - the company may be in serious peril and at the very least need new focus and direction for product marketing.

Competitive Traffic Serenade

2008-05-30T06:26:00.000-07:00

Need more traffic? There's a lot you can
Searching they are... for a bit of thrill-age?
As when they ponder iced tea and a fan
With mouths that chew tasty sausage...

What Your Competition Knows About Traffic

Need more traffic? There's a lot you can learn from spying on your competition. Your competition has traffic sources that you can easily swipe by following these steps.

Step One: Who should you spy on? You probably can name six to thirty online competitors. If not, you need to go through Google and Yahoo with the key terms you target. Who comes up? Write down everyone who has a business similar to yours, even if they aren't identical.

Now you need to figure out who you should spy on first. Begin with the most successful websites. How do you find them? It's easy with a couple tools.

The Google toolbar (toolbar.google.com) is essential for spying. The Google toolbar features a little bar labeled "PageRank." Depending on each site, this bar may be gray, white, or (usually) a combination of green and white. The more green, the higher Google ranks that page. To get an exact PageRank, put your cursor over the PageRank graph and hold it there. Your competitors with the highest PageRank are the ones you want to look at very closely.

You also want to spy on the competitors with the most traffic. To figure out the relative traffic position of your competition (compared to all web sites), go to alexa.com and download their toolbar. The Alexa toolbar will display a number for each website it?s traffic rank. The lower the number, the higher the traffic. (For example, Yahoo?s Alexa rank is 1, while Blockbuster?s is 2,220.)

Step two: Snoop through your competitor's log files to see which sites and search terms send them the most traffic. Is there a public stats tracker on your competitor's site? If so, check it out. If not, try typing in your competitor's URL with /stats.html and /stats/ on the end of it. Often times, web hosts put statistics here - without password protection. Still can't find your competitor's stats? Try Googling their URL and "statistics." It's a long shot, but sometimes statistics pages will turn up this way.

Step three: Look at who is linking to your competitor. The easiest way to do this is to run a backward link search in Google and Altavista. Simply type in link:http://www.yourcompetition.com (using your competitor's URL). You'll find most of the pages that link to your competitor this way. How do you know which links are the best? By using the Google toolbar. The pages linking to your competitor with the highest PageRank are the ones you should look to for links of your own.

To steal those links, email all the webmasters that are linking to your competitor without getting a link back in return. Figure out why they link to your competitor (good free content, subject fits site, etc), and give them a better reason to link to you. Chances are, most of these webmasters will give you a link as well.

Once you have these new sites linking to yours, positive changes in your Google ranking are likely. You may even overtake your competitor for your targeted search terms especially if you get links from spying on multiple sites. All from a little reconnaissance work and some emailing!

Author, Kari Freckleton, aka Greedy Girl, shares her unconventional ideas for free at http://www.greedygirl.com.. Ready to smoke the competition? Email Kari at girl@greedygirl.com to join her Too Good To Publish marketing club.

Marketing Verse Out

2008-05-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

Outsourcing your Web Marketing

The online world is still very new, and constantly evolving. You may be thinking about outsourcing your Web promotion to an expert who is immersed in this world as their fulltime occupation, rather than trying to acquire this knowledge, and cope with the pace of change in-house.

So, what should you look for in a consultant, and what guarantees can you expect?

Choosing the consultant

The consultant should ask a lot of questions about your business and your objectives. They need to be very clear about the strategic and specific goals of your site. Do you want as many visitors as possible (as in: “We get millions of hits on our Web site”), or are you more interested in attracting qualified leads for your association? Are you selling products? Are you looking for new members, sign-ups for your newsletter or events, media coverage, etc.

It’s possible that there could be different markets for each of your objectives. The consultant needs to demonstrate that they clearly understand the demographics of the audience you want to attract. This includes whether your markets are currently online, whether they are comfortable using e-mail, etc. It’s also important to clarify any restrictions on your marketing – for example, if you are only targeting specific locations.

The key to effective Web marketing is to have a comprehensive, integrated plan that focuses on where your markets “hang out” online. It’s absolutely not enough to concentrate your efforts on search engines – that’s a passive rather than an active approach. You want to reach out to your potential visitors, not wait for them to come to you. And, you want to ensure that your offline marketing includes your Web site – up to a third of your traffic can now come from real-world sources.

So, the consultant should propose to you a wide-ranging plan (assuming that’s appropriate for your goals) that includes:

Search engine strategies
Paid (bid for placement) listings
Review sites and directories
Linking with other appropriate sites
Advertising / e-zine sponsorships (depending on your budget)
Online public relations opportunities
Integration with your real-world marketing

Effective Web marketing must also include an e-mail strategy. The consultant should include in their proposal some ideas for targeted, personalized (and fully opt-in) e-mail. This requires a contact database that you can use to select out the different audiences that you might have for these messages. The consultant should also be able to help you create this, if required.

And finally, the consultant should explain how they propose to evaluate the success of any marketing campaign your goals and objectives. Marketing is an ongoing process, during which you’ll learn a lot about your site and about your visitors. This knowledge should be analyzed and used to tweak your site and refine your business strategies. A good consultant will be able to work with you to achieve this.

What guarantees can you expect?

Let’s be very clear – there is a distinction, which often gets blurred, between sales and marketing. The job of a marketing consultant is to bring qualified traffic to your site (or in other words, into your storefront). Completing the sale is then a separate challenge.

Marketing is also a very gray area, in which it’s difficult to provide cast-iron guarantees of results. This is particularly true in the area of search engine optimization, since the search engines are so unpredictable. In my opinion, if a consultant promises you “top ten placement” you should be very wary – it’s possible that they are using tactics that could be classified as spam – soon if not now.

But obviously you do want to check that the consultant has a good track record, and that they can provide references from other clients. I believe that good Web knowledge and proven online marketing tactics are as important as an in-depth familiarity with your industry.

In setting your contract with the consultant, it’s important to have a mutual comfort level with your goals, expectations and budget. There are many opportunities for free promotion online, but if you’re prepared to spend some money, you can potentially build your traffic faster. Since building awareness of a site takes time, perhaps a minimum six-month period would be advisable, but with appropriate get-out clauses for both parties.

Conclusion

Good Web marketing is a team effort! Hire a consultant who you feel very comfortable with, who asks lots of questions to really understand your business and your goals, and who seems genuinely interested in promoting you. But then be prepared to work with them – respect and consider their suggestions, and allow them to be creative in their approach.

Free Advertisement Opus

2008-05-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

Best Approach For Free Advertisement

Best approach for free publicity...

Product/service publicity is the superhighway to business success everyone dreams. Then imagine having your product/service written on newspapers, trade publications, aired on radio and viewed on television absolutely for free!!! That’s going to skyrocket your profit target only if you know how to use the best method of getting free publicity.

The million-dollar question now is, what’s the best method for a free publicity? It is the PRESS or NEWS RELEASE. The knowledge about how it works is the key to your success. This knowledge depends entirely on how you understand the psychology of the editors and new directors that publish or air your press release. This article will show you how their psychology works and how best to manipulate them for your benefits.

Number one. These editors and news directors are very busy people. Don’t bother them with your trials and tribulations or your plans for the future. They are only interested in something new and profitable to their readers or viewers. So the rule here is to sell him first. Convince him that your business fills a need to his readers, viewers or listeners. Then your press release will be welcomed.

Number two. Editors and news directors move with the trend. They concern themselves more with current issues and events. So timing of your press release with current news events is an important factor. For example a story on job layoff and increased unemployment carried out on newspapers, on TV and radio should prompt you to get a publicity release out to all the media on help and opportunity offered by your product/service.

Another kind of timing to keep in mind is publication. For Articles you’d like to appear in the Sunday paper, you’ll generally have your release in at least nine days prior to the date of publication.

Number three. Media men appreciate polite gestures. When an editor uses your publicity release, always follow-up with a customized “thank you” note. Next time you send out your publicity release with others, his more likely to pick yours. If he doesn’t use your publicity release, never call him demanding to know why he didn’t use it or only gave you a mention. Do this once, that particular media will “round file” my further material received from you, unopened! If your first effort is not used, change the story, perhaps write it form a different angle and try again and again.

Number four. They appreciate a formal press release. Finally you need an actual publicity release that’s well written and expected to be used by the media. It must be typed, double spaced, and short (1/2 page total length). About an inch from the top of the paper, with an inch and half margin on the side of the paper; from the left hand margin, type in capital letters: PRESS RELEASE. Then, underline this word. Immediately following the colon, in small letters put the date. Note to put the date forward, at least one day after you intend to mail the release.

On the same line, but on the right hand side of the page, all in capital letters, FOR FURTHER INFORMATION: underline it, and immediately below type your name, your phone number and your address all in small letters.

Skip a couple of spaces, then in capital letters-centered between the margin type story headline, and underline it… skip a couple of spaces, and from the left margin, all in capital letters, type the words, FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: from there on, it’s the news or publicity story itself.

Use these four basic psychologies of the media men and enjoy a free publication of your product/service always.

Author, Am Emma Okafor, an online market researcher and writer.

http://bizacumen.8k.com.

Media Marketing Ode

2008-05-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

Can Media Coverage Build An Online Business? You Bet It Can!

As someone with expertise in media relations, I've been asked if media coverage and publicity can build an online business. The real question is whether what happens offline really matters online. And the answer is unquestionably, "Yes!"

Here are ten reasons why media coverage can help your online business grow:

Every one of us, even if we spend four to eight hours a day in front of a computer screen in our underwear, still lives in the real world. Our opinions, desires, priorities, and decisions are heavily influenced by television, radio, books, magazines, and newspapers. Every business, online or offline, can benefit from positive media exposure.
Almost no business can afford to be absent from the Internet these days; even a local real estate agent gains a competitive edge from having a web site. By the same token, an online business gains a strong advantage by having an offline presence. Online and offline marketing of all types support each other.
Search engines won't bring most web site owners business. I just did a Google search for "books", and found about 85.2 million entries. Ninety-five percent of searchers will likely click on the first two (Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com), most of the others will never get to the second page of the searches. This means that 85,199,990 web site book sellers cannot rely on search engines. How about searching for the word bookstore? Still almost seven million entries, and guess who the top two are?
You can't cheat the search engines. Try a search for books and carpentry. The odds are much better, with only 106,000 entries. That still means 105,990 web site book sellers will rarely be found. How about books and promotion? Almost two million entries. If a million carpentry book sellers are reading this article, five are smiling. The rest will only smile with an offline presence, such as a great article in their local newspaper or a call-in show on a radio station half way across the world.
The media can create interest in your product or service if they feature you as part of an interesting story. Online or offline, that's what media coverage does. A good story is gold.
The media is just starting now to wake up to the exciting things happening online. Timing is everything and this is the time.
The media are now working increasingly online. The online and offline worlds are converging more than ever before. Articles that appear in local papers, industry magazines and even commentary on radio broadcasts find themselves on the Internet. That can often mean powerful links to your web site. Publicity offline means promotion online.
If you are running a contest, placing a new interactive program on your site, winning an award, taking donations for a charity or doing anything noteworthy online, it is of interest in the offline world. The media can act as a funnel for people who spend less time than you and I do in front of a computer screen.
In the mainstream media, you are trustworthy. If they see it on TV or in the newspaper, people believe it. (Funny, they SAY they don't trust the media, but their actions speak louder.) Since web marketing is about relationships and trust (That is your strategy, right?), you can build that relationship with people who are only now getting online or who may not even be online for another couple years. By the time they are ready to buy from you, the relationship has already begun because they have carried your offline credibility (that's the biggest value of media coverage) with them onto the Internet.
In the mainstream media, you are real. I know many people who still don't buy anything online. They simply do not trust someone they cannot see. Sure, you might be honest, but how do they know? You could disappear into the ether tomorrow. While bricks-and-mortar stores can close just as fast, there is an impression that they are more real and more permanent. You can increase your realness and permanence through a media presence, and thereby increase your customer base.

Media relations is not always easy and not everyone can make it. You have to have something interesting to tell and have a creative way to make it newsworthy. But it is a low-cost way to drive traffic to your web site. And you may not need to get onto the front page of USA Today to succeed. You may simply want a mention in a few niche magazines where your targeted traffic can be found.

So if you don't like the idea of being a million entries down on a web search, or even 60 entries down, consider a low-cost, effective alternative – the media. With the right angle, media relations and publicity can expand your engine faster than search engines.

Profit Poem

2008-05-30T06:18:00.000-07:00

Share Ad Expenses to Boost Profits

The challenges of the small business owner are well documented. They must battle for market share larger competitors, run all aspects of their business, and even pay higher rates for advertising and other marketing related expenses. Small businesses generally do not qualify for volume discounts when it comes to buying advertising space or marketing materials, and thus they end up paying higher rates for the same ad space or marketing materials purchased by their corporate counterparts.

In recent years, there have been some changes in the marketplace that are of benefit to small business owners. For example, Internet procurement sites have emerged offering discount rates on everyday office supplies such as toner or paper. However, the high cost of advertising has not been formally addressed. That’s why many small businesses are taking matters into their own hands and joining forces in marketing “co-ops”.

Here’s an example of how it works. Andy’s Accounting Firm and Larry’s Legal Firm are both small businesses operating in the business-to-business sector. Andy services small businesses with their accounting needs, and Larry is a lawyer specializing in small business issues. Andy and Larry both wish to purchase advertising space in a popular small business magazine. The rate they are quoted individually is $5000 for the back page of the magazine. Since they are not repeat advertisers, neither Andy nor Larry receives any kind of discount. So how do they save money on this advertising venture? A co-op approach on one of two fronts will cut their advertising costs significantly:

Share the ad: Since they are not direct competitors, Andy and Larry could split the ad space 50/50, acting almost as if they were partners although their businesses are distinct. This drops the cost to $2500 for each business and they still receive broad exposure in their chosen publication. In fact, by putting their heads together they should be able promote their collective business expertise as “Total Solutions for Small Business”.

Purchase separately at a discount – There may be some occasions where a business does not wish to share its ad space. Even in these cases a co-op approach can offer a lower cost. Andy could call the publication and ask for a quote on the back page for next month. Once the price of $5000 is quoted, he then offers the publication a deal “What if I bring on another advertiser for you. Would I get a small discount?” Most publications live or die on the sales of their advertising space, and are usually willing to offer someone like Andy a 10% discount for bringing someone like Larry in to purchase an ad elsewhere in the publication. Andy and Larry split the savings and Andy ends up paying $4750 for a $5000 ad. Although the savings were smaller in this case than the shared ad example, remember that Andy now has the entire back page to himself and saves $250.

Advertising is not the only example of co-ops at work. Web Designers would jump at the chance to line up two clients in one shot, and would likely offer a discount to do so. The same applies to a printing company that prints brochures or business cards. The possibilities are endless, including the size of the co-op you choose to join.

When faced with a major advertising buying decision or the need for new marketing materials, find out how much you will have to pay as a small business. Then form alliances with similar small business, and negotiate a better deal for all parties involved.

Written by Will Dylan, Author of Small Business Big Marketing and owner of www.marketingyoursmallbusiness.com. Will also offers article and news release writing services through his website. You can contact Will at askwill@marketingyoursmallbusiness.com.

Small Business Marketing Serenade

2008-05-30T06:13:00.000-07:00

Small Business Marketing, According to Seinfeld

What could Seinfeld possibly have to do with marketing a small business? As it turns out, all small business owners could take a few lessons from the show that brought us such popular phrases as “Man Hands” and “master of your domain”.

The Coffee Shop – Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine spent countless hours in the coffee shop, talking about “nothing.” You should spend some time there as well, but instead of talking about your parents or your date last night, get together with other small business owners and talk about your respective business and marketing activities. Many of you already participate in local business clubs and organizations, but the feedback and shared ideas that are generated in an informal business chat over a coffee are often the most valuable. My “coffee shop group” consists of 3 small businesses owners from different industries. Between us, we generate great marketing ideas for each other or in my case, new topics for small business articles. You can easily gather a few small business owners together for this type of meeting. Just be sure they are not competitors!

The Short-Term Relationship – It seemed that every Thursday, Jerry was dating a different woman. In fact, outside of Elaine he rarely dated a woman for any length of time. Jerry understood that sometimes, you don’t want to be tied down to a long-term relationship. The same rule applies to your small business marketing activities. Too many small businesses get drawn in to long-term advertising relationships by committing to a certain amount of advertising in exchange for a discount. Those who sell advertising try to convince business owners that you can’t evaluate a particular form of advertising based on just a small sampling period, and thus a longer contract is required. This is simply not true. In the small business world, ads must at least pay for themselves before you agree to investigate any long-term advertising commitment. You’re not building the next mega conglomerate (not yet, anyway), so ad money that doesn’t produce a positive ROI is wasted money. Jerry understood that if the early part of the relationship wasn’t perfect, the rest was bound to go downhill. Apply that rule to your marketing and advertising purchases and you’ll maximize the effectiveness of your advertising. If it works on a sample basis, consider a long term plan. If it doesn’t work in the short term, give them the “it’s not you, it’s me” routine and move on.

The Superman Effect – Did you know that Superman appears or is mentioned in every Seinfeld episode? It’s true, largely because Jerry kept a Superman figurine in his apartment that popped up in the background numerous times during each episode. For small business marketers, Jerry’s Superman equates to your core business. With so many marketing opportunities to consider, it’s easy to lose sight of your primary business in pursuit of new revenue streams. Unfortunately, this can often leads to the collapse of your business. Take a page out of Jerry’s book, and be sure to keep your core business (your “Superman”) a part of everything you do, even if it is only in the background. Every opportunity and every possible marketing strategy that you consider must relate back to your core product/service offering to ensure the continuity of your business. Don’t allow yourself to become so sidetracked that you end up chasing marketing opportunities that detract from your current strengths. When evaluating a new business opportunity, ask yourself “How will this new marketing or business idea impact on my core business?” before you begin a new marketing venture.

The next time you are watching a Seinfeld Rerun, be sure to look for the hidden small business tips in each episode. You might find that it wasn’t a show about nothing after all.

Ezine Improving Verse

2008-05-30T06:09:00.000-07:00

10 Easy Tips to Improve Your Ezine

Writing and publishing an ezine is a very important part of your online business so you want to make it the best possible ezine you can. I have made mistakes and changed and re-changed my ezine many times to make it the best it can be. I am still always looking for ways to improve MOE. Over the years I have learned a few simple ways to improve my ezine. You can easily implement these tips into your ezine.

1. ALWAYS, ALWAYS have your email, along with your name and url right at the top of your ezine. Unbelievably, I have read ezines where I could NOT find the email or even the name of the publisher!!! Also at the end of your ezine have name, address, phone number, and email and url again for easy access. Nothing is worse than trying to find contact info that for some reason is invisible!

2. Make sure you also always provide your subscribe and unsubscribe info as well. I would suggest putting this info at the bottom of the ezine. If you post your unsubscribe url right at the top of your ezine it is like you are inviting your subscribers to unsubscribe.

3. Provide a forum for your readers to interact with you and your other readers. A section entitled, Reader's Corner or Reader's Comments, where they can send in their comments, questions, feedback or whatever. This gives them a chance to become a part of the ezine. This also helps build the reader- publisher relationship that is very important!

4. Keep your ezine clean and sharp looking. Don't add too many of the squiggles and decorations. They may look *cute* but they sometimes make it hard to read your ezine, thus prompting the ole' delete finger to become activated!

5. ALWAYS provide some original content. Writing articles is a great way of doing this. If you are not yet comfortable writing articles, (Yes, you can), write an editorial in each issue. Talk a bit about yourself, the latest happenings in the business, what is going on around the net, etc., things of that nature. This is a chance to bring out your personality, the main thing that makes your ezine unique!!

6. Having too many ads in each issue is a great way of bringing down the value of your ezine. I would suggest no more than 4 or 5 per issue. Reading an ezine that has 20 or 30 ads (oh yeah, I've seen them) is not very interesting or realistic. Most people would not even go through the whole thing. Here comes that delete finger again!! You want your advertisers to get more value for their money and having a limited number of ads is one of the best ways of doing this.

7. I think adding a small section for this 'n that is a good idea also. Some humor, a little fun, interesting tidbits, jokes, stories, etc. We are business men and women, but we don't have to be 100% business, 100% of the time!!

8. Privacy Policy - Put a privacy policy towards the top of the ezine. Let your readers know their privacy is safe with you and your ezine.

9. Proofread - Always proofread and double-check your text. You do not want your ezine to look like it was written by a 10 year old. Correct all spelling and grammatical errors.

10. Give your ezine an interesting and pulling name. I have subscribed to most ezines just by the name alone. If the name gets my attention, I subscribe.

Names like:

Power Promotion Ezine

Marketing Mania Ezine

Web Success Ezine

are short and to the point. They also make me want to read more.

Names like:

Internet Marketing News

John Doe's Ezine

Home Business News

are more generic and do not get my attention! They lack the "oomf" that make me want to subscribe.

I hope some of these tips give you an idea of how you can improve your ezine and make it the best it can be. Remember that ezine publishing is one of the most essential aspects of your online success. If you are in this business, you should be able to say, "I have My Own Ezine! " ;-) Good luck and success to you all!!

Author, Terri Seymour, owns and operates MyOwnEzine.com. Learn to publish and promote your own ezine. subscribe@myownezine.com.

Press Release Mythical Opus

2008-05-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

Smashing the Myth of the Press Release

A musician spends years honing his craft. He writes world-class songs and performs them in a manner that moves his listeners to tears. He records a demo tape and sends it to record labels. He gets a contract and becomes rich, famous and adored.

The lesson: demo tapes are the secret of becoming a famous musician.

Wait, you say, the demo tape was just a tool, just his way of conveying his talent. It's his ability as a musician that got him the contract and made him famous.

You're right, of course. He could have become just as famous if a record executive saw him in person, or heard about him from a friend, or as a result of a variety of other events.

Which brings us to the press release.

Somehow, the press release has taken on a magical reputation as the alpha and omega of publicity. Wanna become rich? Send out a press release. Wanna become famous? Press release. Wanna get on the cover of Newsweek? Press release.

Publicity "gurus" are springing up all over the Internet touting the press release as the answer to all marketing ills. Just knock out a release, mass e-mail it to journalists, sit back and wait for Oprah to call.

It's a cruel joke.

Here's the reality: the press release is no more important to your potential of scoring free publicity than the demo tape was to our musician friend. If he had no talent, if his songs sounded like garbage, the best recorded demo tape in the world wouldn't get him signed. Ditto for the publicity seeker. If you don't have a story to tell, your press release is utterly worthless.

I'm not knocking the press release -- it's an important tool. But it's just that: a tool. It's not the first thing you need to think about when it comes time to seek publicity. In fact, it's one of the last. And it's not even absolutely necessary (I've gotten plenty of publicity with just a pitch letter, a quick e- mail or a phone call).

If you worship at the shrine of the press release, it's time to rearrange your priorities. Here, then, are the things that are MORE important than a press release in generating publicity:

A newsworthy story. This is the equivalent of our musician's talent. It's the very basis for your publicity efforts. Without it, your press release means nothing. To learn about how to develop a newsworthy story, take a look at http://publicityinsider.com/questions.asp and scroll down to "Is my company/website/life really newsworthy?"
Learning to think like an editor. Oh, what an edge you'll have in scoring publicity over all those press release worshippers once you learn how to get inside the head of an editor. Give an editor what he wants in the way he wants it and you'll do great. I've got an entire article on the subject at http://publicityinsider.com/freesecret.asp Go there now and absorb it all. Trust me, it will make a world of difference.
Relevance. Tie in with a news event, make yourself part of a trend, piggyback on a larger competitor's story, but, by all means, make your story part of a picture that's bigger than just your company. Stories that exist in a vacuum quickly run out of oxygen.
Persistence. Sending out a press release and waiting for results is lazy and ineffective. If you really believe in your story, and you believe that it's right for a particular media outlet, you need to fight to make it happen. Call or e-mail the editor to pitch your story BEFORE sending the release. If one editor says no, try somebody else. If they all say no, come back at them with a different story angle.

Getting publicity involves so much more than just sending out a press release. Treat it as seriously and with as much respect as our newly minted rock star treats his craft and you'll be well on your way to success.

Author, Bill Stoller, the "Publicity Insider", has spent two decades as one of America's top publicists. Now, through his website, eZine and subscription newsletter, Free Publicity: The Newsletter for PR-Hungry Businesses http://www.PublicityInsider.com/freepub.asp he's sharing -- for the very first time -- his secrets of scoring big publicity. For free articles, killer publicity tips and much, much more, visit Bill's exclusive new site: http://www.PublicityInsider.com.

Marketing Striking Ode

2008-05-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

When the Clock Strikes Twelve!

I just finished reading another sales copy ending with the Deadline Marketing!

And it's the sixth I see today saying "If you order by midnight, blah blah blah...."

I'm sure you've seen it. And I'm sure you're getting (if not very) a little bored.

The deadline trick has proven itself to be overwhelmingly successful. It's a deadly-effective "countdown trigger" that pushes reluctant people to ACT at the scene.

BUT right now the Internet is getting OVERCROWDED with sales letters that try to lure you in with the deadlines.

And now what happens is when prospects get to witness this technique too often, they learn to catch up. They learn NOT to buy it!

So be "extra careful". It's been OVERUSED!! Imagine how your prospects will feel when they come across your website and see that your sales copy is not different from others. Imagine yourself in their shoes!

What's WORSE is not keeping the deadlines...

A lot of marketers specifically use the deadlines to explode their sales faster. And their sales letters are forever like that....with the NEVER-ending deadlines. So prospects can't help but lose faith in the deadlines.

You could easily risk losing your credibility from your prospects, if they check up on your site again and still find the same "midnight deadline" technique.

This is critical. If you use the deadline, make sure you keep it. When you say the promotion is ending as soon as the clock "strikes at twelve", prove that you really MEAN it!

Once your prospects see that the discount really ends like you said it would, they'll regret not having bought from you earlier.

Now that they know you always keep your words, they'll keep in mind not to let the next opportunity slip away. Next time they won't wait for another second to buy from you!

What I have for you here is a groundbreaking idea for your deadline marketing...

Instead of saying,

"If you don't delay and order now, you'll get 50% off. The original price is $100, but order now and you pay only $50. Order before midnight and you'll get this special price. Remember if you order after midnight, expect to pay $100!"

SAY,

"Take an unfair advantage of our online marketing test. For 7 days only, our company decides to slash 50% off the original price in order to see whether pricing affects sales. In our doing so, you are the one who gains! During our marketing test, don't pay us $100. Keep $50 to yourself now!"

See the difference? Feel the impact?

If you decide to use the deadline marketing, don't forget to make it right and make the most out of it.

Apart from writing a HARD-TO-SAY-NO deadline, here is the "one-of-a-kind" tool to accelerate your prospects' buying decision....

Go get yourself a dynamic countdown javascript and put it on your site...

http://www.dynamicdrive.com

It's FREE! And it works like miracle. Believe it or not? People tend to feel the rush to act when they see the clock ticking!

P.S. Be different. You can still offer the deadlines, but make sure you take a different approach!

The author, Jaruda Boonsuwan, is offering one-of-its-kind, deadly-effective copywriting e-course -- at NO charge. Beat your competitors now at http://www.groundbreakcopywriting.com

5 Marketing Poems

2008-05-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

The New 5 P's!

NO! When I say "5 P's", I'm not talking about the big 5 P's of marketing everyone's familiar with.

Here I'm NOT referring to Product, Price, Place, Promotion and Package!

But I'm talking about the FRESHEST 5 P's I believe will be extra useful for your websites and newsletters.

Are you ready to discover the hottest 5 P's?

1. P.S.

This writing technique alone will shoot your sales to the roof!

Count how many times this week you skip reading the whole sales copies and go right for a P.S.

We don't like reading a long letter. Most of the time, we skip. So, it's a clever idea to give your prospects a big bang with a P.S. They never skip reading a P.S.

Perhaps they're too bored or too tired to read "another" sales letter. Perhaps they like to cheat and want to see the final punch, if it's right for them or not.

So, make sure you wrap up all of your ICE-MELTING "selling points" in here! Shrink your message. Make it precise. Make your prospects feel they can't live "comfortably" without your product or service. After all, it's your last shot to make a sale!

2. PASS

People love a free pass, even if it's only temporary!

Don't worry if you don't know how to let people type in the password to access your restricted area. It's not the end of the world. Here's where you can get the script for FREE at...

http://www.dynamicdrive.com

Here's a cutting-edge trick: Give them a free password to access your newsletter/ article archives, for example, in exchange for their email addresses. Do not give them the password right at your website. Instead, send them the password by email.

Now, this is important...Set up an autoresponder to do this task. Make sure they get their passwords instantly. They can't wait another minute longer to access the free section. It's a MUST that you have an autoresponder, especially if you publish a newsletter. Get it at...

http://www.mailloop.com/t.cgi/769736/

Now this is important! Do not make this offer sound like a junk! You can say that you're giving away "free membership". Say it is a "privileged" or a "VIP" pass. Or simply say that they're "the chosen one". This way, your prospects will be eager to get the free access you're offering. It's human nature. We all want to be a Very Important Person!

3. PROMISE

You've got to promise your prospects something important...like money-back guarantee.

But don't just say "one-year, money-back guarantee"!

Do say..."And if 365 days from now, you decide you want your money back, I'll ask you absolutely no questions. And even if it's just because you're $27 short and can't buy some beers, I still won't ask you why. You'll get your money back as soon as you say so. I can guarantee you that!"

4. PICK OF THE DAY

When you go to a restaurant, the first thing you always notice is the "Menu of the Day"! Even if you don't order it, you're still curious to see what's new for today, right?

The same thing works with your website. Once your prospects leave your site -- without signing up for your free newsletter, your business depends on pure LUCK.

Too bad people don't buy the first time they see you. And if you still want to win them back, you might have to spend some more bucks on advertising.

Now, it doesn't have to be this way...The only one reason that'll keep people coming back to your site is something NEW every day!

Showcase the "Pick of the Day". And they'll come back to your site from time to time to see what's new.

See? You don't even have to pay for the traffic. It can be "Tip of the Day", "Site of the Week", "Star of the Month", ....anything you can think of!

5. PIECE OF ADVICE

How many times have you read newsletters chock full of the word "buy now"?

This is the mistake that can drive your subscribers away faster than jet speed! Your prospects want to read something useful. They simply don't want another junk mail. If you don't stop selling to them --just for a second-- you'll risk losing them forever. They'll disappear "out of your sight".

So, in your newsletter, try to give them little tips that teach them how to make their lives easier.

Suppose you're selling a beauty product, instead of hard selling, try giving them a short makeup tip of how to make their lips look fuller.

If you're an affiliate for a used car website and running your own ezine, instead of selling cars all the time, try giving them a reliable tip that teaches them how not to get ripped off buying a used car.

P.S. Give it a try. I'm sure these freshest 5 P's can easily add the punch to your websites or newsletters next time you decide to try something new.

The author, Jaruda Boonsuwan, is offering one-of-its-kind, deadly-effective copywriting e-course -- at NO charge. Beat your competitors now at http://www.groundbreakcopywriting.com

Gift Ideas Serenade

2008-05-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

Girlfriend Gift Ideas

Whether you’re buying for the holidays, birthdays or special occasions, girlfriend gift ideas can be hard to come buy. Here’s a list of top gift ideas.

Girlfriend Gift Ideas

Unless this is your first girlfriend, I’ll assume you know jewelry tops the list of best girlfriend gift ideas. That being the case, we’ll skip to non-jewelry ideas you can afford. You can find all of these gift ideas online by just searching for them on your search engine of choice.

1. 1,000 Thread Count Sheets – .This is a serious luxury item. The softness of a sheet is determined by the thread count. Thread counts are the number of horizontal and vertical threads in one square inch of sheet. Typical thread counts are from 70 to 340 or so. 1,000 thread counts are so soft she will lose her mind. She might never get out of bed! Expect to pay $200 for this pampering girlfriend gift.

2. Down Memory Foam Slippers – Slippers? Yes, but not just any slippers. It is winter and she needs something comfortable and warm. The slippers conform to her feet and are made with duck down. They are super warm and, unlike other slippers, can be worn both indoors and outdoors. Expect to pay $45 or so with online retailers.

3. Eyesseuse – The grind of daily life can get her in a bad mood by the time she comes home. This, of course, is bad news for you what with the headaches and all. The Eyesseuse comes to the rescue. The device is worn over the eyes like ski goggles. The device then applies heat, pulses and air pressure to the area around her eyes. This promotes blood circulation and relieves stress around the eye area. Essentially, it is a massage for her eyes and she’ll be feeling chipper in no time. Expect to pay in the range of $50 for this gift.

4. Nomad Writing Journals – If she loves the outdoors or traveling, Nomad Writing Journals make great gifts. These journals are tailored to activities such as travel, fly fishing, bird watching, backpacking, camping, rock climbing and so on. They come with or without a case and provide writing space as well as cues for writing down important information. A great keepsake for her to preserve travel and outdoor experiences. The journals cost as low as $9 without waterproof case and $25 with case.

These girlfriend gift ideas should give a good starting place for buying your girlfriend gifts. Just don’t forget the jewelry!

Author, Rick Chapo, is with http://www.nomadjournals.com - makers of writing journals for travel and outdoor activities. Writing journals make great Christmas gifts for her.

Orgasm Verse

2008-05-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

Ogoplex

I recently tried ogoplex, a supplement that originated in Europe. I had heard that ogoplex could make orgasms during sex better for men. Better doesn't even begin to describe what ogoplex can do.

I'm sure most of you are familiar with a woman's ability to have multiple orgasms. As men, we're fairly spent after one. When I was younger, I could recover after a short rest and jump back in the saddle. However, as my age has progressed, that ability has diminished. In fact, before ogoplex, I used to roll over and fall asleep.

Not anymore.

Ogoplex allows me to have multiple, powerful orgasms...one right after another. I have never felt climaxes like this in my entire life. I have had more orgasms in one romantic encounter with my partner than I used to have in a week of sex. The amount of stamina I now have seems to be perpetuated by the feeling that I could go all night. Instead of ten seconds of pleasure, I reach a place I've never been before with continual, wonderful orgasms that I never thought possible. The effect on my partner has been nothing but positive, and she has repeatedly said that we are experiencing the best sex of our relationship. I've always enjoyed sex, but ogoplex has made me appreciate how great it can really be.

Guys, I don't know about you, but if there is one thing in my life I could use more of, it would have to be money...followed closely by orgasms. In all seriousness, I never thought in a million years that my sex life could be this rewarding. I look forward to it more than ever and because it has made me a better lover, my partner is more than happy to oblige. What used to be a 15 minute affair now lasts all night, and I finally feel like I am pleasing her to the fullest extent possible. Not only that, I feel like a new man. When you are able to enjoy sex as I have been recently, it puts a whole new perspective on time spent with your lover.

I encourage you to give ogoplex a try. I think that once you've experienced what it can do, you'll never look at sex the same way again.

Author, Kingston Amadan. To learn more about Ogoplex or to order visit http://www.male-enhancement-pills.net/ogoplex.html.

Gift Ideas Opus

2008-05-13T23:29:00.000-07:00

Female Gift Ideas

The holidays are quickly approaching which means you need to start thinking of gift ideas for the females in your life. Here are a few female gift ideas.

Female Gift Ideas

Female sounds like a strange word to use in this article, but there really isn’t any other way to group moms, wives, girlfriends, sisters, daughters and so on. With that in mind, here are the top female gift ideas, which you can find online by just searching for each name.

1. Sonic Stain Remover – .The Sonic Stain Remover is an electric clothing stain remover. It uses ultrasonic vibrations to literally shake the stain off of clothing without doing any damage to the clothing. Will tackle tough stains, even spaghetti sauce and coffee spills. The Sonic Stain Remover will run you as low as $23.99 online.

2. Medi-Points Foot Massager – Think she looks great in those high heels? Well, there killing her feet. Unless you want to be rubbing them all night, you’ll want to invest in the Medi-Points Foot Massager. This foot massager dominates the market because it actually straps her feet down onto the magic balls. Designed by acupuncturist, this gift will bring a sigh from her after a day of hoofing it around in those stilts she calls shoes. You can find it online for $95 to $100.

3. Snore Stopper – This is one of the gifts you give her, but she gives to you, your dad or whomever. The Snore Stopper is a watch-like device that is specially designed to stop people from snoring. It works by giving the snorer a little zing every time they start snoring. It doesn’t hurt, but is just strong enough to force the body to stop snoring. Eventually, the process will train the mind to control the sleeping process in a way that prevents snoring. No snoring means she’ll finally get some sleep! You can expect to pay in the $45 range online.

Whether she’s your mom, girlfriend, wife or, yes, even a sister, she’s important to you. These female gift ideas are a good place to start when buying for her this holiday season.

Author, Rick Chapo, is with http://www.nomadjournals.com - makers of writing journals for travel and outdoor activities. Writing journals make great Christmas gifts for her.

Man-o-Pause Anti-Ode

2008-05-13T23:27:00.000-07:00

Male Menopause? Not!

It's hard to adjust to a world seemingly spinning out of control. Getting ahead in the "old" economy is getting harder and harder. There are limited resources for men who want to challenge the status quo, who want to break out from the "shoulds" that rule them, who are confused any more about what it means to "be a man."

While the physiology of male menopause is a measurable fact, I think something else is going on here. After the initial years struggling to achieve their career aspirations and role as provider, men would do well in recognizing this shift as a desire for greater fulfillment beyond work. Women have fulfilled their role as child bearer and mother. We have no qualms in stating our needs once the kids are off pursuing independent lives.

Rat Race Running You Ragged?

Most men are probably wondering, "Where the hell do I fit in anymore?" Some men confuse wanting off the rat race roller coaster as the start of a mid-life crisis. But a crisis, when confronted, is an opportunity. Someone once wrote, "confusion is the threshold of a greater awareness." Most intelligent men understand this concept but tend to judge it. I'm here to tell you that confusion is a good thing!

Think for a moment about Chinese handcuffs; the harder you pull, the stronger they bind you. The same is true with confusion; if you fight the fact that you cannot control your confused state, you will continue to muddle along. Instead, consider the possibility that by adapting to a new and changing reality, clarity and direction are yours for the asking.

When we resist change, there is no space to move, to explore, to expand. Just because the competitive landscape has changed and relationships are often fraught with frustration does not diminish your role or importance. You have the potential to be at cause in your life.

Maybe it's your turn to create, not compete. Give yourself permission to breathe.

Author, Nicolette Beard, is a former editor, publisher and advertising executive. Currently, she provides insightful commentary on issues men face at mid-life through her blog, http://www.Man-o-pause.com. Hers is the only blog for men written from a woman's perspective.

Levitra Poem

2008-05-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

Levitra Benefits Women’s Sexuality

Levitra, a boost to women’s sexuality. Well you must be wondering how?....Let me explain. Most of the female folks out there suppress their sexual desires and fantasies due to their partners’ physical incapabilities. For the sake of their relationship, be it marital or a normal one, they tend to suffer the anguish and pain of unsatisfied physical needs. These forms of silent tortures have a very deep and negative impact on their personal and professional relationship as it lowers their self-esteem and destroys their persona.

These unfulfilled desires in women leads to a series of catastrophic situations like broken marriages and extra-marital affairs. Impotency, better known as ED (Erectile Dysfunction) can be accounted as one of the root cause of these sexual traumas experienced by a whole lot of women like me and you.

The correlation between Levitra and women’s sexuality and its role in this matter can be seen from the fact that, Levitra, the magical drug provides treatment for the ED and Impotent males. Thus it helps in removing the dreaded disease responsible for damaging and destroying the sexual aspirations of millions of couples worldwide.

Levitra improves the sexual power of a man and in the process helps in satisfying the deep and underlying feelings of the women. Most of the time women fake orgasm for the sake of their partners’ in capabilities. To boost their partners’ self esteem, they tend to sacrifice their inner feelings. But now it’s a thing of the past. With the use of ED pills, sexual needs and desires can be fulfilled within a few minutes of time. To know more about Levitra visit: http://www.levitratalks.com/what_is_levitra.html

With the advent of these magical pills, women’s’ sexuality will be empowered. They can confess their desires to their partner without any hesitation. It will help in bringing color back to lots of dull and futile relationships.

The female species will no longer be deprived of this intense feeling of love and passion. Thanks to Levitra, love will be in the air for lots of couple. For more information please visit http://www.levitratalks.com

Author, Jessica Taylor, An Internet Researcher. http://www.levitratalks.com/what_is_levitra.html.

Lifestyle Developing Serenade

2008-05-13T23:23:00.000-07:00

Develop a Strong And Interesting Lifestyle

If you're a guy who people stay away from because it seems like you just came out of the crapper with toilet paper hanging out of your pant leg and the door hit you on the way out, you're going to have to work on developing a more interesting lifestyle as well as gain some more self-confidence.

Do not let women interrupt your process of pursuing and achieving the things you want to in life. If you are without a strong destiny or purpose in life, it is going to be so easy for any wind to sway you (such as a beautiful woman entering your perimeter).

You have to be so solidly focused on your path, goals and destiny that no woman can tear you away from it. Yes I know that the desire for sex is so strong, especially when it is so fragrantly and flagrantly waved in front of us, but you have to realize that sex is not everything. Yes, it's great but ultimately it is STILL just only a part of your life; it is part of the balance.

If all you think about is sex because you can't get any, you're going to come off as desperate. It's the 'vibe' you're putting off and women can smell it (like the crapper scent). If you can have the strongest, rock solid path in life and make no excuses for it, this alone is more important than studying 1,000 pick uplines. This is natural pheromones that she can pick up from across the room.

Women WANT so desperately to meet a real man who doesn't just give in to their (false) sense of (derived) power. American men will continue to be confused when it comes to women because they don't understand all of the implications involved EVEN IF they are leading a strong and interesting lifestyle.

They are unknowingly letting a lot of social programming and behavior response get in their way of true success with women that can fit into their lifestyle. Some men have 'figured out' how to be successful with women, some men 'become' a man who makes it his main focus in life to 'pick up' or 'seduce' women. Most men, however are leading semi-interesting lives but are still having trouble with getting women.

I have made it my purpose to develop a strong and interesting lifestyle, and although women are an important aspect to the balance of my life, they are not my pure motivation for wanting to become something more. I really want to add a lot of value to the world and will, through my productions. Hot women are just a part of my orbital universe. Learn to become the center of your universe and not enter her orbit, because you will lose a lot of your own character, birthright and effectiveness.

There isn't a woman on earth who could 'trade off' so I could 'be lucky' to be around her yet give up my own destiny. If you can have this strong of a purpose and be congruent with it everywhere you go and every second you live, magical things will start happening. Most men will just focus all of their energies and lose self-control when the next hot girl walks by. She is not your world and you know that you wouldn't let her 'control' you in the future so why be like that up front?

When you are on YOUR path and not open to being swayed around by the perceptional visage of a woman and her drama, she will be attracted to the rock (you). Become an interesting and fascinating man and you will realize that every woman you do end up with will either fall in love with you, want to marry you, or experience tremendous fulfillment from what you can give her. She won't be able to put in words the level of attraction and desire she feels for you.

This gives you more confidence and a stronger foundation from which to base future relationships on. You are the standard. You are the man. You may invite other women to share in your reality. Too many men are swayed by a beautiful woman's drama and their edification of that reality. Centering your universe is truly more important than any pick up line.

Focus on your path and most often, the women will happen naturally as has happened to me. Biologically and naturally they are supposed to enter YOUR reality and not the other way around. Women are complaining because on the inside they are so tired of men basically entering a woman's reality (see, even they know it isn't right). You have the right to be a man and not let society's 'forced reality' try and whip you into ineffectiveness with women forever.

This often means saying 'No' to women who don't fit your idea of the relationship you want to have, or if she has too much drama for a relationship. This will really stump the beauties and you can feel your power meter rising when you really don't care.

If you start conceding to her reality, the relationship will fall apart and she won't call you back; BECAUSE it is not natural. This is part of the reason why we have a 50% divorce rate. Despite the feminist preachin', women desperately desire men who will still be men. They are stronger now, so you really have to be congruent with your own reality and then will attract massive success.

Hey, if I end up marrying a dramatic supermodel I know that it will probably end in divorce, and I'd probably do it for publicity and status alone (it's honestly a part of me, so who knows..it'd be fun for a while), but the only thing that will last is really to marry a traditional woman who doesn't have all of the drama that beautiful, independent women bring to the table. I don't plan on getting divorced and I think most men would want to lead their lifestyle with a woman who can support them and inspire them instead of nag and drag them down. How about you? Develop a strong life path.

Author, Rion Williams, offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have 'natural success with women' and dating. You can sign up for the free newsletter just by visiting his website 'http://www.mensguidetowomen.com/E_player.htm' You will receive some free bonuses as well and you can then read about his 352 page unabridged 'Men's Guide to Women' instantly downloadable eBook. It will change the way you think about dating and women forever.

Stop Cancer Verse

2008-05-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

Male Breast Cancer - What You Should Know About!

Have you know, that the breast cancer can also catch the man? Yes - it's really true!

Have a look on the last news!

The special Risk Factors for Male Breast Cancer

- Only approximately 1-1.5% of all breast cancer cases occur in men.

- Several risk factors have been identified that make some men more likely to develop breast cancer than others.

These risk factors include:

The Age: The average age of men diagnosed with breast cancer is between 60 and 70 years old.

The history of the family:

- 20% of men with breast cancer have close female relatives who have (or have had) breast cancer.

The Radiation exposure:

- Prior exposure to radiation (usually for treatment of a cancer) is a risk factor for male breast cancer.

The Liver disease:

- If the liver is normal function, she helps with hormone metabolism by binding proteins that carry hormones in the blood. If the Man's has liver diseases such as cirrhosis, they tend to have lower levels of androgens (male hormones) and on the other hand a higher estrogens levels (female hormones).This reality puts them at an increased risk of developing gynecomastia (non-cancerous tissue growth) and breast cancer.

Symptoms Male Breast Abnormalities

- The most male breast changes are due to benign (non-cancerous) abnormalities, such as gynecomastia (non-cancerous tissue growth)

- So, the men should report any persistent breast changes to their physicians for clinical evaluation.

-The Symptoms of male breast cancer may include:

-a breast lump,

-swelling,

-skin dimpling or puckering,

-nipple retraction (the nipple turns inward),

-redness or scaling of the nipple or breast skin,

-and nipple discharge .

How to treating Male Breast Cancer

This will be depending on the type and stage of breast cancer.

The following treatment will most likely be used:

Surgery - Radiation therapy - Chemotherapy - Hormone therapy

About the Survival Rates for Male Breast Cancer

Today, the survival rates are similar the women cancer, when the treatment of the tumour begins at the same stage.

Anyway, the male breast cancer tends to be diagnosed in later stages than female breast cancer.

The following chart is an approximate survival rate for each stage of breast cancer. The percentages are only averages. The chances of survival will differ for each man depending on his own medical situation and several other factors, including new treatment options, how he responds to treatment, etc.

STAGE 1 TUMOR SIZE less than 2 cm No Lymph Node 5year Survivalrate 100 %

STAGE 2 TUMOR SIZE Between 2-5 cm No Lymph Node 5year Survivalrate 95 %

STAGE 3 TUMOR SIZE More than 5 cm No Lymph Node 5year Survivalrate 84 %

STAGE 4 TUMOR SIZE not applicable YES Survivalrate 52 %

Author, Fritz Frei: make it easy to check out the important details about the diagnoses and test's of the Male-Breast-Cancer. To receive more information's about all cancer -questions - Links and last research NEW's - visit the http://www.cancer-info.info.

Shoes Opus

2008-05-13T23:18:00.000-07:00

Man Dress Shoes - How to Choose

Which man dress shoes you pick may at first seem like a simple choice. You might shop around, see something that looks nice, and then pick your favorite color. While this might work, there are many things to consider that might not even cross your mind.

The first thing to consider is what else you are wearing. I know, seems simple, but knowing if this is going to be worn with business casual dress (slacks/dress shirt) as opposed to a full suit does make a difference. With a full suit, you want the nice, traditional polish shoes to compliment the suit, as that is the look you are putting forward with wearing a suit. If you are are dressing more casual, as most places are in recent times, you might consider a comfortable pair of oxfords or rockports. After all, if you don't have to wear full dress shoes, why not just wear a comfortable shoe.

The average person steps 4,000 - 5,000 times a day. That's roughly 3 miles. This can heavily impact which style of man dress shoes you wear, as well as how the padding and insole are manufactured. Quality speaks for itself, as the saying goes. How well the shoes will hold up is a definite thing to consider.

The above are just some items to consider when you're shopping for man dress shoes, and things normal men don't think about when they're out and decide to grab a new pair of shoes. Shopping online can make it drastically easier to find precisely what you want at the price you want.

You can find more information on choosing the right mans dress shoes at http://www.earticlesonline.com/man-dress-shoes.html.

Written by Anthony Kristovich III, author of http://www.earticlesonline.com.

Stamina Ode

2008-05-13T23:15:00.000-07:00

How to Increase Your Bedroom Stamina in Just a Few Days!

Until recently, guys with premature ejaculation problems had to wait at least a few weeks to see results from natural solutions. However, new research has finally revealed why some guys last and others simply can’t. Based on the training principles of body building, it is now possible to teach your body how to have sex correctly through a serious of specially designed exercises.

So what is premature ejaculation, and how long is really enough?

Well premature ejaculation, or PE, is commonly defined as the inability to delay ejaculation to a point where both partners are satisfied; and this can be anywhere from 10 seconds to 10 minutes. It all depends on what you and your partner define as "too fast". Research shows that the average man will ejaculate within 1-3 minutes of penetration, while the average woman will orgasm after 12-15 minutes! With such a large gap it is no surprise that more than 30% of guys suffer from the anxiety of premature ejaculation!

So how do you stop it I hear you ask?

Fortunately, the ability to last a long time is a learned behaviour. Almost every man over fifty will tell you that he can delay ejaculation much longer today than when he was younger. Sexually inexperienced men have not yet learned to recognize the feeling of being about to come inside a woman. Recognizing and dealing with that feeling comes with experience. However, don’t be fooled into thinking that just having more sex will cure this kind of inexperience – it won’t! It’s not the amount of sex you’ve had – it’s the amount of learning and training. Learning to control the penis and taking charge of your own ejaculation are the keys to success.

Using traditional methods such as the "Squeeze Method", the "Masters and Johnson Method" and the "Stop Start Method" usually takes a few weeks to see results. These methods are designed for you and your partner to simply get used to sex and that is often the biggest part of early ejaculation problems anyway. Fixing Premature Ejaculation with the help of your partner only makes it even more embarrassing and awkward for you and it’s no wonder these techniques take so long to see results!

Doctors will sometimes prescribe medications that have ejaculatory retardation as a side effect. Even if those medications work (they don’t always), this doesn’t cure anything. You can’t stay on the drugs for a lifetime, and in relying on the external aid, you’ll never learn to control your orgasm for yourself. Also, most of these sprays and drugs simply numb the penis so you don’t feel the excitement. What’s the point of sex if you can’t enjoy it?

If we change our approach to having longer sex by focusing on the actual love making muscles rather than just waiting to get used to coming slower, then results can be seen inside a week. In the sporting world, different training methods are used to build the two types of muscle fibres know as “fast twitch” and “slow twitch”. Generally weight lifters have denser slow twitch fibres for more power, and sprinters have denser fast twitch fibres for speed. If we apply their training methods to the muscles of sex, then we are able to develop total control much faster.

Gaining control during sex is as simple as taking control over your breathing, and control over the PC muscle. The PC muscle is located between the scrotum and the anus, and contracts both quickly and slowly during sex. By training it correctly, premature ejaculation can be controlled far quicker than by simply waiting for it to happen with traditional methods.

Also, anxiety is also a major contributor to fast ejaculation, and as a result your body tenses up and can’t perform correctly. By learning correct breathing techniques you can relax your body, and coupled with the confidence of controlling your PC muscle, you can be well on your way to stopping this embarrassing problem for ever!

Outlining a full program to cure PE would take more than this article allows, however a basic program involves holding your PC for 10 seconds, then relaxing for a few seconds and repeating this cycle for 10 repetitions. You can also do short fast holds, for 20 reps each time. This will let you to begin to gain control over your PC muscle, and over time your PC worries will become a thing of the past!

Believe me, everyone is capable of lasting as long as they want to, and it has nothing to do with you thinking that you are in some way different to all the other "normal" guys. You simply need to build new habits for sex and to understand how to control the correct muscles to last as long as you should be!

Author, Alex Sharp, has developed a unique 7-Day Program that GUARANTEES to stop Premature Ejaculation in 7 short days. To find out more about how this can benefit you, visit http://www.natural-stamina.com for further information, or contact Alex at alex@natural-stamina.com.

Tantric Ejaculation Poem

2008-05-13T23:11:00.000-07:00

A Tantric Perspective on Premature Ejaculation.

Part 1 of a Radio Interview with Mukee Okan

Mukee Okan, acclaimed sexual healer and champion of sexual fulfillment is interviewed about her work curing premature ejaculation.

D: Welcome. I'm Dr. Jeanette Case, and we're going to be talking tonight with Mukee Okan.

Mukee describes herself as a transformation agent and mentor to all dedicated to enhancing their intimate relationships and experiencing their sexual energy as a whole new level of positive experience.

Her focus is sex for more pleasure, creativity, energy, and abundance in your life every day. Originally from Australia, Mukee is a Sacred Sexuality teacher.

Her foundation is Tantra, a philosophy that encourages an acceptance of sex as natural and life affirming. She is also highly trained as a sexual surrogate partner therapist in the Western medical model.

Mukee has guided many individuals and couples for many years in simple ways to have more balance, happiness and fulfillment in their sex lives.

She claims that she can guide any man to transform premature ejaculation forever, so that you can last longer every single time. She says this is essential to a better sex life. So welcome, Mukee.

M: Thank you, Jeanette.

D: Let's go ahead and get started with some of these questions. You know, tell me about the basis of the claim that you make that you can help someone overcome the problem of premature ejaculation, especially since you're a woman.

M: Well, as you know, I'm absolutely dedicated to the upliftment of the sexual well-being of humanity - that is my work -and so the most frequent sexual concern that I'm asked to help with is premature ejaculation.

So all of the techniques that I teach, the controlling premature ejaculation and lasting longer, now I've been using them very successfully with male clients for at least the last ten years. So I know they work.

D: Well now, why is there such a focus on lasting longer?

M: Well, to focus on lasting longer, we really need to look at a bigger perspective. So that would involve seeing that sexual energy is our life force energy.

You know, it's not just a stress release thing, you know, when we have sex with our partner. There is a much bigger perspective.

So it's the same energy that makes everything possible that's in existence, from the sun and the planets and the oceans to human beings and the plants and the animals; the driving force is our sexual energy. So that in a way is our will to live.

And so the birthright of every human being is to fully experience their infinite capacity for pleasure, for orgasm and for intimacy. And so number one, most people don't realize that your sexual energy is for your health.

Your health physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. So when a man learns how to increase his capacity to first of all experience pleasure by lasting longer, they're able to experience longer periods of arousal and his sex life has a totally different quality.

So rather than just being a stress release mechanism, it can become a rich, fulfilling experience for a man, and his partner of course.

D: Wow, that just puts a totally new light on it. So now why do men experience premature ejaculation?

M: I would say the number one reason that men experience it is anxiety of, "Oh my god, it's gonna happen again," or simply being totally back in the past and stressed out and in a state of tension because that is what happens near pretty much all of the time or all of the time.

And so in a way the cause of premature ejaculation, or why men experience it, is psychological. It's to do with the way that they're thinking, rather than being present in their body.

And I'd actually like to define what premature ejaculation is, because a lot of men ask me, "Well, my natural sexual response, you know, I seem to come very very quickly.Is that normal? How long should it be?"

And so really the definition of premature ejaculation is an inability to delay ejaculation to the point where it's mutually desirable for both partners.

And so you see the definition is quite subjective. So you can't put, you know, a timed thing on what premature ejaculation is. The crucial thing is that if a man and his partner is satisfied with their sexual interaction or not.

And so, when we go back to the psychological causes of why a man might experience that, let's look first of all at anxiety and concern, usually about sexual performance.

So a man might have incredible anxiety about pleasing his partner, he might have so much tension in his body that he's not even really aware of the sensations in his body.

So that seems to be one of the key things that happens for a man who's experiencing sex like this.

D: Well now, is there anything that a man can do to change all of this?

M: There is a lot that a man can do to change this, and really the basis of what I've found that works over and over again for a man is to be able to experience more relaxation.

Simple relaxation and letting go of any kind of outcome or specific outcome of what it should look like and what's meant to happen and how long he's meant to last for.

And so there are two key pieces, but also when you look at the bigger perspective again, if a man can reframe sex as a natural healing act, that can change his entire outlook on letting go of the performance and what it should look like.

Then another key piece is actually educating himself about his body first of all, and then obviously about his partner's.

But the more that a man learns about his own physical body and his own sexual response as intimately as he can, then he's naturally going to have a lot more confidence in how he has his sex life.

(In Part 2 of this interview Mukee Okan describes what steps a woman can take to help her partner last longer in bed. She also describes some straightforward techniques for a man to practice in order to delay ejaculation).

Mukee Okan's mission is to educate and inspire sexual freedom, so people can open and surrender to self-love and self-awareness and experience full presence and intimate connection.

Receive the rest of this interview and other inspirational sex tips by signing up at http://www.erectilejaculation.com. Copyright (c) Mukee Okan.

The Best Men Magazine Serenade

2008-05-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

What You Didn't Know About FHM Magazine

FHM MAGAZINE, FHM, an abbreviation for: For Him Magazine is a quite successful monthly men’s magazine (also known as a lads’ mag) that was first published as FHM in 1994 in the United Kingdom, but it has actually been around since 1985 under the name for him. FHM which was founded by Chris Astridge was first distributed through high street men’s fashion outlets and expanded to newsagents as a quarterly publication by the spring of 1987. For him had most recently hardened up its editorial approach to compete with the expanding fashion market and has also introduced a sports supplement along with its normal edition. The magazine then had its name changed to FHM. As of 2005, it publishes twenty-seven different editions per month in countries such as the U.S., Russia, Denmark Australia, New Zealand, France, South Africa, Spain and many more.

FHM, which is produced by the consumer division of publishing giant EMAP, was originally launched as a response to the success of LOADED Magazine the previous year (1993). FHM relies heavily on photographs of beautiful actresses and pop singers that are presently getting media attention and has a much more respectable air than pornographic magazines. FHM is usually stocked in the lifestyle rather than the adult section of newsstands.

FHM is printed on very high quality glossy paper and the photography is of high technical quality, as well. FHM had become the best-selling magazine in Britain during the mid to late 1990’s and was selling over 700,000 copies per month. Along with photo shoots, the magazine contains articles on a very wide variety of topics which include profiles of present sports stars, movie, music, technology and book reviews, some gossip, mens’ fashion shoots, the “bar scene” in many different locations as well as extensive discussions of innovative sexual techniques. One of the most popular issues of FHM Magazine was the Top 100 Women Special which had left most readers extremely satisfied and eagerly awaiting the following year’s edition which is sure to have the same reaction. “Wow!” is the reaction from the majority of readers that had received or purchased this special edition of FHM. And one can understand why!

Author, David Chase, runs http://www.magazinepromotion.com you can get more modern information by clicking the following link: http://fhm.magazinepromotion.com.

Health-Wealth Verse

2008-05-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

"Health and Wealth" or "Wealth and Health"

On Wednesday at 1015AM October 13th, my body was intact with no parts missing. At two AM, Thursday October 14th, I awakened in someone else's bed. Lahey Hospital's. At 3AM, I sat in a large leather reclining chair (I tried wheeling it to my car, but the nurses stopped me) giving thanks for thoughtful and caring friends. Exactly 24 hours after the anesthesiologist put me under, I stood in my kitchen with a catheter and one rather important body part missing. Boy, that all happened rather fast!

The sequence of doctor's visits, surgery, and follow-up force me to ask, "what matters?" Our wealth or our health? You might think, "Health, of course!" Someone else might reply, "Wealth; my health will take care of itself if I have plenty of money."

Health never takes care of itself. All kinds of stuff goes on under the skin that needs attention. Overlooking, procrastinating, disliking doctors will not slow-down the creeping effects of cancer or other ailments. Prostate cancer kills. Men need to take careful steps to protect themselves. Actions may not ward off cancer (they did not for me); they will allow time to manage it quickly and wisely. Most men just do not get it.

I get many questions, "What did they do?" "Did they take part of your prostate or all of it?" Is it a "prostrate" or a "prostate"? What is a PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) test? Each question is loaded with nuance and fear. This newsletter permits my sharing some valuable thoughts and suggestions. If you like wealth, you better become responsible for your health.

Here are suggestions and observations about prostate cancer. Just the same, knowledge and action encourage a healthy prognosis.

Facts men and women should know

*8 men out of 10 will die with prostate cancer, but not from it.

*Get an annual physical (I started them at age 25)

*Request a Prostate Specific Antigen test. Read about it here: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Detection/PSA

*Pay attention to your PSA levels (mine accelerated to 3.9 quickly.

*Your doctor will perform a DRE; don't resist. If "DRE" does not ring any bells, ask your doctor.

*If a biopsy becomes the next step, be sure to take what they prescribe before the procedure; I forgot; it hurts.

If you must have the prostate removed; check on multiple options (I met with three specialists at three hospitals.

*Proton Beam Therapy: http://www.llu.edu/proton/

*Davinci laparoscopic surgical method; http://www.davinciprostatectomy.com/

*Laparoscopic surgical method: http://www.prostate-cancer.org/education/localdis/brosman_RP2003.html

For the sake of the body, keep head and heart with:

*Faith: the essence of hope.

*Family: the essence of encouragement

*Friends: the evidence of how many care.

Learn more:

*"Unlocking Secrets of Longevity" - Read about the "Blue Zones" http://www.bluezones.com.

*Dr. Patrick Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer

Men know more about the stock market than their bodies. An ancient text reads, "We are fearfully and wonderfully made." The outcome of our choices may be answered by our priorities: Health and Wealth?...or...Wealth and Health?

Author, Ray Randall, serves clients as a registered investment advisor with his firm, Ethos Advisory Services, Essex, Massachusetts Ethos Advisory Services. He has wide experience within the financial services industry, writes a weekly newsletter for Ethos Advisory Services http://www.ethosadvisory.com, and coordinates the developments at Echievements.com. Ray holds a Masters Degree from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, Hamilton, MA. You may call Ray (617-275-5565).

Online Music Recording Opus

2008-05-13T23:02:00.000-07:00

Online Recording Studios - A New Player in the Music Industry

The World of Drum Recording

Many people today, especially in home studios where you often have only two inputs to record at once, record their songs one track at a time. Most people starting a home studio can easily acquire the basic engineering skills needed to record vocals, guitars, keyboards and bass. Recording an acoustic drum set on the other hand is perhaps the biggest challenge a recording engineer has to face when recording a single instrument - mainly because drums aren't really a single instrument. Especially in Rock, each drum will often require its own microphone in order to capture its full depth and "punch" quality so highly desired in hard-hitting rock anthems.

A multi-channel recording system, lots of expensive microphones, acoustic room treatment and knowing where to place microphones and how to get the best out of the equipment make recording drums a highly expensive and complex endeavor.

If one decides to record drums at a studio, they will find themselves paying through the nose for a recording engineer and a professional drummer. Bands often don't have the budget to pay for hours of studio time required for their drummer to nail a decent take. Even if the drummer is well versed in the songs when playing gigs, recording in the studio is different in many ways and requires its own experience.

Online drum recording services such as DrumsForYou.com provide a refreshing alternative. Maintaining a studio dedicated to the sole purpose of recording drums, online drum recording provides a simple and quick method of getting a solid drum track.

For those venturing into a studio for the first time, it can be very intimidating not knowing how big the hole in your pocket will be at the end of the day. In online recording studios, a high volume of customers keeping the studio busy recording drums daily allows the service to offer a fixed price rather than charge by the hour. There is no need to collaborate a schedule of meetings with musicians and producers. As soon as one track is finished there is no problem in getting on to the next one.

How Does It Work?

You may ask yourself, how can someone record drums the way I want them without me there to play along, guide and explain what I need?

The answer is – free preview.

This feature is made practical thanks to the special traits inherent to an online recording service. The entire process will usually begin with the user filling out a form specifying parameters such as how they'd like their drums played, at what sample rate they need the track to be recorded and a choice from several snare drums to play. Then the customer is asked to send an mp3 file with a sketch of their track without drums on the left side and a matching click track on the right. The service is then obliged within a certain amount of time to send a preview mix of the drum track over the song. If the customer for some reason doesn't like what they hear, they can ask for changes or scrap the track without paying. If they do like what they hear, upon payment they may choose between online or CD delivery of the full separate tracks as well as a suggested stereo mix.

With this feature, you have nothing to lose by trying. You know exactly how much you'll have to pay, you'll know exactly when you'll get it and you'll know exactly what you're paying for before you need to make your decision. In a studio, being charged by the hour, you take a lot of risks, because you pay for time spent regardless of the result.

The experience and versatility attained by drummers who record parts for songs every day also means they'll probably nail the track the first time. Most people aren't really that picky about having their drums played a certain way and will often trust the drummer's judgment to play what they believe fits best with the sketch provided by the customer.

Who May Benefit from Online Recording?

This unique service can be very useful for budding musicians and bands struggling on their own and professional musical producers alike.

Producers will appreciate the speed and professional quality delivered by this service. Because it's so quick, they effectively won't lose time by trying the service, so their options remain open to go the traditional way if needed.

Thanks to the ever advancing computer industry home studios have become very commonplace these days. They are relatively cheap, easy to build and maintain. Therefore, many budding musicians already have the tools they need to record their sketch and use this service. Until recently, they've had to compromise the live feel of their recordings by using drum loops and samples. Online drum recording services finally allow them to mend what has been until now a consistently weak link in their chain.

Finding talented musicians dedicated to one's cause is also nothing to be sneezed at. Having a demo for your songs that sounds good enough to be on a record can help your wanted-ads on the internet stand out from the crowd. You may find yourself attracting more people to work with you in two weeks than you managed to do in two years.

Not Just Drums

It doesn't stop at drums either. DrumsForYou.com, despite its name, provides services for recording bass, guitars and keyboards as well as drums. Granted that equipment becomes less of an issue when recording these instruments, the expertise of a professional player combined with the speed and no-risk policy of online recording makes these services very attractive.

Musicians trying to produce a good track on their own will probably sing their own track, or have a singer, and play one instrument that they know well. Yet many guitar players like to try playing their own bass, only to find it doesn't sit as tight with the bass drum as they'd like. They would have to choose between keeping their part or take their chances hiring a musician. With online recording, you just order a bass track preview and most chances are you'll have the problem solved.

Indeed, online recording services could very well be the shape of things to come in how music is produced. As the infrastructure of the internet expands and advances globally, online recording services will also advance. For example, it will be possible to hear a recording session online, give comments and even play together in real time from anywhere in the world with low latency. Soon after that you will also be able to see each other. Musicians will effectively be able to rehearse, record and even perform online.

The Bottom Line

Sitting in a fully equipped studio with experienced personnel, including a producer, recording engineer and professional drummer obviously has its advantages. At the end of the day, however, most people look for bang-for-buck solutions – amateurs and professionals alike. Using free preview to solve most of the problems that could arise from not being face to face with the client, online recording services provide a viable solution that fits the bill for all but those who are not willing to compromise on having their own musician play the part note for note.

I highly recommend paying a visit to DrumsForYou.com and taking a venture into online recording. After you do, you may find yourself wondering how you got along without it.

Author, Elad Fish: click here to visit http://DrumsForYou.com and experience the quality of a real drums, bass, keyboards and guitar tracks played by professional session players!

Style Music Ode

2008-05-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

Learning Styles Of Music

What genres (music types) are important?

Learning styles of music can help you get work, don’t get me wrong; but you need to consider the time and expense involved in knowing a lot of music genre’s, having the goods to do them, and if your locality really wants the specific genre.

DJs invariably enter the profession as a part time hobby because they love the music they play and love to see others enjoying it too.

Usually DJs have an already significant existing vinyl or CD/DVD collection of music that they enjoy and they use this to mix and play for DJ events for which they are hired.

Some DJs like to specialize in a particular genre of music in order to attract a certain type of clientele. This may be because they particularly liked learning styles of music; that genre; or because they know that this will secure regular work.

Dance, Indie, acid or house music is particularly popular with DJs who work the club circuit while 60s, 70s and 80s music is more popular with mobile DJs who host private parties and BBQs.

It depends on what’s popular in your area, as to whether you should offer Country, HipHop, or the latest cutting edge music genre. To learn more about specific music styles, you may want to read up .

Every good DJ experiments with how they will get the crowd moving and different DJs enjoy learning styles of music to do exactly that.

In fact, you will probably find that most DJs have a set routine for how the night will play out according to music, sound, lighting and other effects such as bubbles, background buzz, DJ banter and audience participation.

This methodology works the world around and is irrespective of what genre the DJ specializes in.

Regardless of what music genre a DJ specializes in, the key to the event is not the actual songs themselves but the mix that the DJ puts together.

A good DJ will know how to link together a good mix of songs with both the event and the crowd in mind.

Good DJs now how to put together songs that ebb and flow according to the crowd response and the timing of the event – the DJ cannot allow the crowd to peak too early or the event will then slowly fizzle out, long before it needs to.

When you specialize, it’s much easier to become known for a certain style of music, and a lot cheaper to get a good stock of vinyls or cd’s in that genre since you already have a head start in your favorite style.

DJ Equipment is expensive; so save money where you can and specialize in just a few musical genres instead of many!

Author, Guy Ames. Learn more about becoming a DJ with tips and tutorials from http://www.DJ-Tips-and-Tricks.com.

Music Producing Poem

2008-05-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

What Is Producing?

I deal with a lot of bands who simply aren't sure what producing is. Some have no idea what it can do to their songs. Some are under the impression that some guy (who also owns a strip club) who has a limo and pony tail is going to call them "baby" and turn them into New Kids on the Block with guitars.

While this sort of thing might exist, I don't think these sort of producers stick around very long. I could be wrong. The way I see it, a producer is just regular music dude who is working with you to make your songs the best they can be. I'm guessing that everyone has a different idea of what a producer is and I think that stems from the idea that a producer does different things in each situation. One band may have songs that are good but lack an extra push. Another band may just need to be excited in the recording process.

I'm convinced of 2 things.

A Producer does not necessarily have to be a great musician

A Producer does not necessarily have to be a great songwriter.

To me, all a producer has to do is help people who are good at the two things above do those two things better. This could be everything from playing blindfolded, to intentionally ruining a song just to see how the band puts it back together.

I think a producer's job is to challenge the song. Take the song, tear it apart, push it, pull it, twist, it and see what happens. What happens if we do the most obviously wrong thing to this bridge? Try it. See. Record it live and see. Did it work? Does it sound like crap? Maybe it does sound like crap, but listen to how the chorus sounds now. Hmm. Now the chorus is bigger. Let's play something less crapty on the bridge but with the same feel. Ahh.

I get excited just pretending that I'm producing a record right now. I find it so exciting to get all the creative juices going with a whole band with the band and I all working together democratically and pushing them to make their songs better. If the band doesn't like a direction, no problem. We go a different direction.

Author, Brandon Drury, has run www.echoechostudios.com for years and is developing a large recording site at http://www.recordingreview.com. Feel free to use this article as you please as long as you send a link back to recordingreview.com.

Sound Serenade

2008-05-13T22:51:00.000-07:00

It's Not All About The Sound

You know the phenomenon, everytime you hear music playing in the background you think about the clip associated to the song.

Many years ago, music was just about sounds. Skilled people with beautiful, at times selfmade, instruments entertained other people. Back then, music was a gift.

But with the introduction of MTV and various other tv-broadcasters, clips are now a must for artists. If you don't have an attractive, high-tech clip you know you'll fail on the billboards. People associate these clips to the quality of the music. If the clip they see is bad they'll stop listening to the song and turn off the screen.

Sexy girls dancing with little clothes on, rappers acting tough, ..It's all been done before. Artists now look for computerized video images, with special effects which match with the sound they produced. It sweeps the watcher along for about 3 minutes, enough time to hear the song and perhaps like it.

Music needs the images, but needless to say the images definitely need the music. You could even say that music videos are a modern version of opera. In an opera, you have music and acting together as a package. It tells us a story, just like most music videos do. As we all are curious at times, people tend to like stories. Makers of music videos know this and try to make a story with their music videos.

The story symbolizes the music: if a song sounds sad, the story will not be a happy tale.

In the future, artists will have to keep on spending much time in developing their attractive clips, perhaps even more time than they dedicate to producing music.

So I'll give you a good tip: don't always see the music, hear it..

Author, Joe Delqi, webmaster of http://www.discoverclips.com and all-around-music-lover.

Guitar Magic Verse

2008-05-13T22:48:00.000-07:00

The Magic of the Slide Guitar

It's a hot sultry night on the Mississippi delta. The full moon casts it's translucent light on the fields and swamp oak trees. The lingering smell of barbecue and wisteria mix with honeysuckle and tobacco smoke. Folks are sitting on the front porch trying to beat the heat. Someone picks up an old guitar and begins to play a familiar tune.

The sound is unmistakable, cutting right to your heart, and emotions. It’s distinctive voice, almost human-like, hangs in the night air like a soulful cry. That is the signature sound of the slide guitar.

Where did this style get its start? The prevailing wisdom attributes its birth to the old single string instrument called the jitterbug, used by black musicians around the turn of the 20th century. This instrument was simply a length of thin wire stretched between two nails on a post and played using an old bone or heavy nail. Some used a bottle or other smooth objects as well. One could play a lead line or improvise an accompaniment to folk, blues, and spiritual songs. The jitterbug was essentially one of the first blues instruments.

There are ancient African instruments much like the jitterbug but using a gourd resonator with the single string. It, also, was played with a bone sliding up and down a neck to change pitches.

As guitars became more available, a lot of the early blues and folk players adopted them. These guitars had terrible action and strings were scarce. Using a slide allowed playing on some really horrible guitars yet produced a very appealing sound. Using a glass or metal slide would also save the fingers!

Guitars were very popular in the early part of the 20th century. Frequently, rural musicians got inexpensive guitars from a mail order catalogs. Banjos were very expensive at the time, but there is little evidence that players ever used a slide on a banjo.

Some musicologists suggest that Hawaiian music was the greatest influence in popularizing slide guitar. This was about the time (early thirties) when steel bodied guitars were becoming available. This music was played in "slack-key" or an open tuning as it is called today. The guitar is tuned to an "open" or major chord, such as a Gmajor or Dmajor. There are many variations in these tunings, but most tunes are played in one of the three main open tunings.

Hawaiian music was very influential in spreading the slide guitar craze throughout the country. This gave rise to a great demand for slide style guitars from manufacturers. The Hawaiian lap steel guitars were more popular than standard guitars all through the 1930's. All of the major manufacturers had offerings: Gibson; National; Dopera Brothers; (Dobro) Regal, just to mention a few. Hawaiian slide guitar was incorporated into every style of music from Jazz to Mountain Music. This has continued on to the present. The list of today’s accomplished slide players is large and ever growing.

The adaptation of slide guitar techniques by early blues musicians is, perhaps, the ultimate marriage and is instantly recognizable. Some of the great masters of the past include: Son House; Tampa Red; Robert Johnson; and Muddy Waters, to name a few. These magical and soul filled sounds have captivated musicians and listeners alike.

The voice like quality of a glass bottleneck or brass pipe sliding up and down a guitar string has a created musical tradition worthy of it longevity. It resonates with our emotions and has found a permanent home in our hearts. God bless those who aspire to the sound of the slide guitar.

Author, Denny Tryon, is a slide guitarist and author. More information and resources can be found at www.slideplayer.com.

Moved Opus

2008-05-13T22:46:00.000-07:00

Types of Actors

All humans are actors to some extent. This sounds Shakespearean but it is very true. Many times we have done what we do not like and many times we begin to like what we are doing. We represent those very feelings on stage or before the camera in the form of characters. The person's who enact those characters are actors.

The hero-actor in a play or a film is not always the protagonist though usually he is so. The plot of a story or a play takes the hero through a number of coincides or circumstantial changes to show that he can adjust in any space and time and yet remains a leader or a savoir.

Well! A tragic hero on the other hand distorts his own good circumstance and he also worsens in his temperament in such a way that the spectators sympathizes with wraths than looking down on him. In both the above cases the actors who portray these characters must be very skilled in showing their feelings by their eyes, the face and of course the body. Sometimes they may have to overact.

The comedians have to keep improvising methods to portray the force in the society and the foolishness of the rich who haven't experienced the world around and take it for granted that all happiness can be commodities. Many times a comedian performs serious roles yet he makes us laugh-he is an actor.

The lady on the other hand whether a heroine or a vamp usually shows excess feminine energy either she is a sacrificing friend, a mother or a seductor. To portray these feelings the lady actors need very good supporting actors.

The dancers or singers are also actors who are usually speaking of the hero, the heroine or the villain who would like to confess, or it could be about love, hate, or jealousy. Many times mindsets are condemned through a singer who also dances.

Basically the actors are also informal teachers.

Author, David Chandler. For more information, visit http://www.ActingInfoCenter.com. For your FREE Stock Market Trading Mini Course: "What The Wall Street Hot Shots Won't Tell You!" go to: http://www.stockmarketgenie.com.

MP3 Ode

2008-05-13T22:41:00.000-07:00

MP3 - a Brief Overview!

Internet did not only change the daily habits but also the way people do their shop. And more than that: Internet has also increased the space to commit piracy.

Music is a good example of how Internet can contribute to piracy. With all this revolution regarding in the means of communication, more and more files or software are available and can be downloaded. Music is one of these files.

The most common music format is MP3, which is the short for MPEG-1 Audio Layer-3. These are files of music found in a compression version but which keeps the original quality. These files are highly searched through Internet.

With this option of downloading music and creating your own CD, composers and music bands started to claim for their copyrights and royalties. This arouse another question: how to protect the bands and composers?

The exit found was to create laws to protect them. These laws presuppose that both websites that offer free MP3 downloads without the permission of the owners of the copyrights and also websites that offer paid downloads should be punished. In this case, the owners of those websites that don’t respect these laws are sued.

But of course it’s not every website on the Internet that breaks the law. There are websites that offer both free and paid MP3 download without breaking the law and respecting the composers’ or music bands’ copyrights.

And something that people are usually not aware of is that downloading a MP3 without the previous consent of the owner of this music you may also be sued. It doesn’t matter that you just downloaded it. It works like this: these websites only exist because people download their MP3, so if you stop downloading it the website will disappear. Then, you are considered to be accomplice of the website’s owner.

There are, however, some legal ways for you to download MP3, both free and paid.

Author, Luna Sol: I've always loved music and stuff related to that. That's why I started reading about music, MP3 and Internet. And there are so many things we are not aware of. My intention is to help you find the same things I had figured out. http://www.mp3ps.com.

Referrer Poem

2008-05-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

How Did You Get Here?

When marketing your website, it's important to know which of your efforts are producing results and which of them are a waste of time.

You can learn a lot about this by analyzing your website's statistics (assuming your webhost offers this service).

However, even with the best statistics programs, it can be difficult to determine where exactly your visitors are coming from. Did they arrive on your product page by clicking a link in your newsletter or did they get there by clicking the banner you've paid to have displayed on Yahoo?

The best way to answer this question is to track your links. You can do this by buying link tracker software or by employing a third-party service to do it for you.

However, if your budget is tight, there's one way you can track your links without spending a dime.

This can be done by tagging a question mark followed by a piece of text at the end of your hyperlinks. This will not affect the way the link works, but will help you identify that link in your website's statistics.

For example, http://www.yoursite.com/page1.htm?linka will point simply to http://www.yoursite.com/page1.htm as if the "?linka" were not there at all.

However, when you analyze your statistics, you will have separate results for both links. That way you can determine how many people visited page1.htm and how many people visited page1.htm by clicking the link marked '?linka'.

You can use this to test the effectiveness of any or all of your links. For example, if you want to know how many people are arriving on your product page from your newsletter, your banner ad and your home page, you could set up your links as follows:

The link from your newsletter: www.yoursite.com/product.htm?newsletter
The link from your banner on Yahoo: www.yoursite.com/product.htm?yahoobanner
The link from your home page: www.yoursite.com/product.htm?home

When you analyze your visitor statistics you can clearly see how each of these links are performing and then act accordingly.

As there is no limit to the amount of distinct links you can create, you can easily track all your links at no cost.

Author, Michael Hopkins, is owner of BizzyDays eBook Publications. Download Brand New Original eBooks for FREE at: http://www.bizzydays.com. Download The eBook Publishing Success Package at: http://selfpublishing-ebooks.htm.

Online Guru Serenade

2008-05-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

Is There A Guru In The House?

The Internet has given us many marvelous advantages in international marketing, from the speed and convenience of email to the ease and economy of product downloading.

Yet these wonders pale by comparison when you realize the sheer volume of Gurus that inhabit the Web.

As a young boy growing up in Ohio I was impressed by the rarity of those mystics who with one utterance, could place in a nutshell all worldly knowledge.

On the other hand, there had always existed plenty of "experts."

In olden days folks were forced to rely on the now outdated, 'expert' for knowledge and virtuosity.

When it comes to Internet marketing there are no experts, only Gurus.

You remember what an 'expert' is, don't you!

Well, as a distinguished Chinese gentleman named Charlie Chan, once said, "An expert is a person who provides quick answers that are sometimes correct."

While, as Charlie says, an 'expert' may only from time to time, correctly assume a fact, a Guru never ever suffers from this fallacy.

A Guru just knows all!

You see, the only quality the 'expert' lacks is perfection, otherwise he would be a Guru!

There is one other distinguishing characteristic you'll notice when sorting out a Guru from an 'expert'. An 'expert' is either, self designated or quickly proclaims the title, while a Guru leaves that function to his associates.

As a lad I was just naive enough to believe that the world only offered us one or two true Gurus.

Naturally, I had heard of the mysterious Dalai Lama with his universal wisdom, and maybe about a couple of odd characters hanging out in Tibet, but that was it.

I truly believed that these few individuals summed up the entire Guru population. Then I discovered the Internet.

What a revelation!

When it comes to Internet marketing, the supply of Gurus gives the impression of being endless.

Every day I read of several new Gurus who have recently startled the Internet community by unearthing the 'real' secrets of marketing success.

Thankfully, these Gurus are graciously releasing their deep dark secrets of Internet prowess, even though it may be for a limited time only, and at a compensation said to be ridiculously low for a Guru of their obvious stature.

The Internet is amazing, even Gurus mark down their wisdom!

For awhile, I feared that once these 'secrets' were released our favorite Guru would quickly pack up and take their meditation elsewhere.

But not to worry, as new hidden secrets of Internet marketing are needed, more and more Gurus appear to permeate the Web thus eliminating any major concern of a shortage.

I often ponder, can this abundance of Gurus last, is there a University somewhere that grinds them out, a sort of Guru U!

Perhaps, we ought to just count blessings and gleam as much as we can from these modern day wonders of the cosmos.

After all, shouldn't we be content that there are helpful Gurus everywhere on the Internet, with or without a toga.

They seem to be everywhere these days. In fact, while shaving this morning, I could swear I spotted a Guru in my own bathroom mirror!

Author, Joe Myna, is webmaster at The Virtual Warehouse of in-demand products - http://www.anezbiz.com, author of FREE eBook "Internet Profits The Quick Way" - Download now at http://www.anezbiz.com/Quick.exe. Joe Myna is webmaster at www.anezbiz.com and involved in direct marketing for the past 30 years. Mr. Myna first went online in 1996. Mr. Myna is author of several well known marketing titles.

Netrepreneurs' Verse

2008-05-07T23:16:00.000-07:00

Growth From Within

Business on the Net is a fast paced proposition. Net entrepreneurs are looking for the edge that will take their business to the next level. Who doesn't want more business, right? Here's a simple yet POWERFUL idea for increasing your income.

As business people we look at many propositions that will help us take that next, much desired growth step. We hear that we must "brand" ourselves and be easy to do business with. The list of ideas goes on and on.

THE GOLD MINE IN YOUR BACKYARD

Many people overlook how hard (and expensive) it is to create a new customer. Yet, we focus most of our time and energy in just this area, thinking that if we just could get more customers we would achieve our goals. But what about getting more OUT OF your customers?

If you have been around for a while you have a customer list. That list is GOLD. Please understand that I am NOT talking about renting out your customer list of email addresses. What I AM talking about it approaching those customers, who know you and trust you already, with a totally new and different product.

Why should we limit ourselves to selling only one type of product or service when by adding an additional item to our current offerings we can TAKE ADVANTAGE of the relationship that exists now? Will your customers resent this move? Not if you do it with some style.

HOW TO DO IT

One of the keys is to choose a product or service that COMPLIMENTS what you already do. Whatever your product or service is, think through what your customer is likely to buy based upon purchasing your product.

If you sell shoes, someone is going to sell them socks and it might as well be you. Not only will you increase your revenue but you will encounter less sales resistance and show your customers that you are thinking of them.

Another method is to choose a product or service that CONTRASTS what you sell now. If you normally sell a business related product come back at them with a personal product. Why should they NOT buy it from you? You have proven yourself as honest and dependable; now cash in on that hard work.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK

One final word. Your customers decided to trust you when they bought what you sell. Capitalize on those good feelings and ask them for their feedback on what you have in mind. This is by far the most powerful, yet virtually free, market research available in the land. Use it wisely and your EXISTING CUSTOMERS will tell you both what they want to buy and when they want to buy it.

All you have to do then is step up, fill the need, and go to the bank.

Author, Dan Brown, can help you take your income to the next level! Don't overlook the GOLD MINE in your backyard. Your customers are waiting for you to take the next step. Take that step today by visiting Dan on the Web and find a program that will ensure success. (c) by cash-evolutions.com. This article may be reprinted freely, provided the author byline remains intact.

Chaotic Growing Online Opus

2008-05-07T23:13:00.000-07:00

Growing Your Company In Today's Chaotic Market!

I think we've all heard enough bad news to last us few months to last us several lifetimes! Our mantra for clients is "get over it" - cut your losses when where you can and focus on the basic building blocks to grow your business. Here are some fundamentals we recommend to any company that wants to survive and grow in this chaotic market:

1. Practice maniacal focus! Who is your customer, how do you reach them with your advertising, partners, channels and/or OEMs? If you can't readily identify these benchmarks, then you may need to take a hard look at look at your business structure, personnel, costs of good/services, etc. and rework your model.

2. Outsource and build virtuosity into your company. We tell clients to minimize fixed costs like the feudal barons of old - they kept a core group of fighters to man the garrison walls and hired (outsourced!) conscripts when the baron from the next door came calling at the castle gates with a legion of longbows behind him to exact tribute. Marketing, finance, HR, IT infrastructure, even product development or manufacturing can be easily outsourced to specialists who have levels of proficiency that you might not be able to afford if you tried to hire them full time.

3. Flex and tier your pricing creatively to minimize barriers to entry. If chaos is the order of the day (and we think it is) then make sure your pricing is tiered or structured so your clients can afford to try out your products and services - and be flexible in your negotiations and look for creative ways to bring new customers aboard.

4. Make your suppliers real business partners! Fed Ex and UPS are setting up shop in their customer's shipping docks to save valuable time and money and become active business partners. You may not have the clout of a Fortune 1K company/behemoth to leverage Fed Ex but you can ask your suppliers to extend terms, work with you on just in time delivery schedules or get creative with pricing, joint promotions, etc.

5. Ensure your marketing fundamentals are up to snuff! We see so many sloppy web sites that do not address the basic fundamentals of good site design, menus, UI, etc., brochures that are out of date, power point presentations that are barely legible, etc. - basic marketing principals should be addressed; i.e. integrate your color scheme and logo across all marcom materials (digital and traditional), reinforce your branding and positioning with clearly worded value propositions ("we save you X by doing Y") and ensure your logo and tagline look professional and are used properly.

6. Create and deploy credible PR that isn't full of fluff; i.e. "market or cost leadership, best of breed technology, leading provider of …, high-performance, etc.; don't use terms any editor sees hundreds of times a day! Create PR that is original and truthful - you will stand out from the crowd much better.

7. It's truly a Global Market! Position your company so you can work with customers all over the world - if you don't have the resources or personnel (see two above) then partner with a local reseller, dealer or distributor who has an established presence in a country or market which you can't serve via your corp/home office.

8. Don't waste time chasing venture capital - fund your company creatively! Venture capitalists are busy today trying to save their existing portfolio of ".bombs" so don't waste a lot of your time contacting them! Be creative, talk to friends and family about investing or look to your suppliers to give you extended terms in exchange for a long-term contract, discounted parts, etc.

9. Leverage technology to help you grow your business. A good web site should answer questions for your customers, not leave them frustrated and confused - make sure you address fundamentals with an FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions), or even setup instant messaging via any number of chat technology providers so people can anonymously ask your sales or c/support personnel questions while they are on your web site.

10. Ignore marketing hype and concentrate on technology that really works. Tried surfing the web via your cell phone and finding a hot bistro in a new neighborhood recently? I hate to pick on this technology du jour, but it rates high on my "hypeometer" at this moment in time. There is a reason why opt-in e-mail advertising is the one of the best ways to reach a target market - its virtually instantaneous, is 24/7 in most cases, very targeted, provides global reach, and drum roll ... it really works!

Author, Lee Traupel, has 20 plus years of business development and marketing experience - he is the founder of Intelective Communications, Inc., http://www.intelective.com, a results-driven marketing services company providing proprietary services to clients encompassing startups to public companies.

Amazon Traffic Ode

2008-05-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

Don't Let Amazon.com Use Up Your Valuable Bandwidth!

You already know that affiliate programs are a great way to make additional income for your web business.

By promoting products that are RELEVANT to your target audience and presenting those products in a meaningful way through the pages of your ebooks, websites and ezines, you can build up a nice steady income with little effort.

Don't forget though, affiliate programs will only earn you money if you promote them the right way.

Otherwise they're a complete waste of time and effort.

A perfect example of how NOT to make money through affiliate programs is by carrying banners from big web companies like Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking these companies.

However, you may as well try making money from selling used matchsticks as from carrying banner ads from companies like these on your website.

Why?

Well, firstly, most people are so familiar with these companies already, that the chances of them clicking the banner are next to nothing. You can expect at the VERY LEAST to go through 1000 visitors before you get a single click!

Secondly, even if a visitor does click the banner, the chances that he/she will buy anything are even less again. And, because Amazon.com and co. only pay out commissions if the visitor buys immediately, then the likelihood or you actually earning anything are just north of none.

Let's face it, these banner ads enable Amazon.com and their like to use webmasters to strengthen their brand name at zero cost.

They'll slow down your pages and will not benefit your business or your visitors in any way.

If you are an affiliate with Amazon, then the only way to effectively make money out of them is by hand-picking a few products that are of direct interest to your visitors.

If your website deals with fast cars, then promote fast car books. If your e-book is all about The Ramones, then promote albums from and books about The Ramones (Gabba Gabba Hey).

Then, promote those products as if they were your own. Nothing short of a rave review or a full-blown sales pitch will do. And place a "Click Here To Order On Amazon.com" link at the end.

Your visitors know you and your readers trust you. If you tell them that this product is right for them, then they'll buy it.

One final point.

Amazon's affiliate program, despite its widespread fame, is neither the best nor the most lucrative one around.

It may be worth your while to look around for websites that promote the same products but that have more effective affiliate programs. Programs that pay out more and that use cookies to record your visitors' click-thrus. That way, if your visitors buy the product at a later date, you still get the commission.

Homepage Working Opus

2008-05-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

Does Your Homepage Work?

All websites have a homepage. It is the most important page of your site. It acts as the main gateway to the entire site. Most of your prospective customers will enter through it. Its vital to get it right. You dont want them to just turn around and go away again.

Take a moment to clear your mind. Now go and look at your homepage and take a minute to evaluate it. Does it work for your prospective customers?

Most will arrive at your homepage and quickly scan through the content. If they are interested in what they read and see they'll typically decide to click on a link that takes them to another page where they'll find more information. As they make that decision they'll be asking things like:

What do they do?

Do they look professional?

Whats in it for me?

Do i have the problem they describe?

Are they talking directly to me?

How can i get it?

Alternatively, if the homepage hasnt interested them immediately then they'll leave just as quickly as they arrived, unlikely to return.

Your homepage is the gateway to your website and plays a critical part in the prospects visit. First impressions count. The success of your site depends on your homepage. Now, before we look at what a homepage should be, lets look at what it shouldnt be.

It should not be a false homepage requiring you to click a link to get to the real homepage. It shouldnt be a page that fails to direct the prospect to further action. It shouldnt contain any content that doesnt serve an immediate and clear purpose. It should never read like a dull brochure, that does nothing to motivate prospects to seek more information or buy immediately.

What a homepage should be. It should have a clear message. It should be a dynamic page that instantly conveys a sense of what you do, how you do it, who you are, how you do business, etc. It should start to describe the direct benefits that prospective customers get by buying your product or service. It should create prospect interest and make them eager to find out more. It should provide direction and clearly marked links to get them there. It should focus entirely on serving the needs of your prospective customers and removing their anxieties.

The purpose of your website is to sell your products and services to your prospects. To be effective your homepage must meet the needs of your prospects exactly and provide answers to their questions. To do this you must know what your prospects want and how they want it. If you dont already know, find out. Ask them!

Also, spend some time looking at other homepages learning what works and what doesnt. Are there features and styles that you could adopt on your site?

Once you have these answers design your entire homepage around them. Spend some time getting it right and both you and your prospects will benefit. Dont settle for second best unless you want your website to fail as a result of being ineffective.

When you've done it. Take a moment to clear your mind. Now go and look at your homepage once again and take a minute to re-evaluate it. Does it work for your prospective customers now?

Good luck!

Author, Peter Simmons, is editor of the DYNAMIQ EZINE. GET MAXIMUM RESULTS FROM YOUR WEBSITE! Increase your traffic, prospect conversions, sales, profits, referrals and more... START GETTING RESULTS RIGHT NOW with your $129 WEBSITE EVALUATION ABSOLUTELY FREE at http://www.dynamiq.co.uk/ezine or email me anytime at mailto:peter@dynamiq.co.uk.

Merchant Account Serenade

2008-05-07T23:05:00.000-07:00

Choosing An Internet Merchant Account

Surf to Google and perform a search on "Internet Merchant Account". The results are staggering (472,000 results!) If you have created a web based business and need to accept credit card payments, your choices are limitless. Before you partner with a provider, take time to understand the different components of internet credit card processing, and know what to look for in a merchant provider.

How It Works

Accepting credit card payments through your web site actually requires multiple components. Between a paying customer and your bank account, three layers exist:

Payment Gateway - This is the code that will transmit a customer's order to and from an internet merchant account provider. The payment gateway provides you the ability to accept customer billing information (credit card number, credit card type, expiration date, and payment amount) and the necessary validation steps that must be followed before the credit card is actually billed.

Internet Merchant Account - A Merchant Account is an account with a financial institution or bank, which enables you to accept credit card payments from your clients. The payment gateway actually transmits the billing information to the internet merchant account provider. Unfortunately, most local banks do not provide internet merchant account capability.

The main reason why most local financial institutions or banks do not want to provide online merchant accounts is because transactions conducted over the Internet are totally different from face to face transactions where a signature is required to authorize the purchase. This makes online transactions prone to credit card fraud. Fraud protection should be one of your primary considerations when choosing an internet merchant account provider.

Web Site - Regardless of which merchant provider and gateway service you choose, your web site will need to integrate with your service providers. Most providers include detailed web integration instructions.

How Much Does It Cost

Understanding the total costs of your merchant provider can be tricky. Remember my Google example - there are more merchant account providers than there are people looking for internet merchant accounts so ask questions and be picky! Typically, an internet merchant account will have three types of costs:

Up Front Application Fees
On Going Fixed Fee
Discount Rate
Fixed Transaction Fee
Termination Fees
Miscellaneous Fees

Let us discuss each type of cost:

Up Front Application Fees

Many internet merchant accounts will require an up front application fee. This fee, supposedly, is to cover their costs for processing your application. In case you choose not to open an internet merchant account, they still cover their initial costs. Although common, many providers waive these fees and I recommend that you choose a provider that does not require an up front fee.

On Going Fixed Fee

Most all internet merchant providers require a monthly fixed fee or "statement fee" as it is commonly named, which is simply another way to cover their costs and make money. You will be hard pressed to find a provider that does not require this type of fee on a monthly basis. However, do not choose an internet merchant account that requires more than $10 per month. Additionally, most internet merchant providers require a monthly minimum (usually $25). The bottom line is that you will be paying at least $25 per month (on top of the monthly statement fee) for your account.

Discount Rate

Usually, the discount rate will be between 2 and 4 percent. The discount rate is the sales commission the provider earns on each sale. For example, if the discount rate offered is 3%, and you receive a sale over your web site for $20, you will owe 60 cents to your internet merchant provider.

Fixed Transaction Fee

Usually between $0.20 and $0.30, the fixed transaction fee is the fixed fee portion of each sale. Unlike the discount rate, the fixed transaction fee is the same for every transaction. Whether you get a $1 sale or a $100 sale, the transaction fee will be the same.

Termination Fee

A bit more hidden in the small print, a termination fee can apply if you cancel your merchant account within a specified period of time (usually within one year). But beware, some merchant providers require a three year commitment!

Miscellaneous Fees

If a customer requests a refund and they want their credit card credited, an internet merchant provider will charge you a separate fee (usually between $10 - $20). Read the contract carefully, as other special fees may apply.

Putting It All Together

Now that the different fees have been explained, let us look at an example set of transactions to help understand what an internet merchant account may cost your business on a monthly basis.

I have created a simple formula to help you calculate your monthly charges:

Total Charges = Statement Fee + Number of Transactions x (Average Sale x Discount Rate + Fixed Transaction Fee) + (Number of Chargebacks x Chargeback Fee)

For example, let us see you sell widgets over the internet. The sales price for each widget is $10. You typically have 100 sales per month and about 5 people request refunds (chargebacks). For this example, let us assume you have signed up with Jones&Jones internet merchant account services and have the following terms:

Discount Rate - %2.5

Statement Fee - $10

Fixed Transaction Fee - $0.30

Chargeback Fee - $15

Using my formula above, your monthly Jones&Jones charges will be:

Total Charges = 10 + 100 x (10 x .025 + 0.3) + (5 x 15) = $140

You can calculate your monthly sales revenue by multiplying your sales volume by your price:

Monthly Sales Revenue = 100 x $10 = $1000

Your internet merchant provider is costing you %14 or your total sales.

Making Your Decision

Before you choose and internet merchant provider, understand all of the cost components. Use your current or projected sales data to forecast what your internet merchant account costs will be. Planning ahead can save you time and money.

Author, Andy Quick, is co-founder of Findmyhosting.com (http://www.findmyhosting.com), a free web hosting directory offering businesses and consumers a hassle free way to find the right hosting plan for their needs. Feel free to contact Andy at andy@findmyhosting.com in case you have any questions or comments regarding this article.

Online Branding Verse

2008-05-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

Branding On The Web Is Like Mining For Fools Gold

I am sick and tired of marketing geeks touting the beauty of branding, brand building and just spouting branding in any context, especially when the term is used with "internet" or "web" or "digital!" You can't have a conversation today for more than five minutes without some marketing type throwing in a line about brand building!

Branding doesn't work with the net's warp speed - look at some of the leading online brand builders, including a certain big three TV network here in the states and a book seller in Seattle trying to do classic brand extension, from books to barbecues.

We tell our B2B clients to build a revenue-producing online brand by developing a campaign that sells the value of their goods or services! Forget the esoteric, very expensive brand building campaigns that have no measurable impact! Here are my ten "cliff notes" to building an effective B2B Brand Online, B2C coming next article.

1. Do a careful Competitive Web Analysis of your competitors - you can't build a unique brand without knowing the lay of the digital and real-world land! The beauty of the web is that it is a 247/365 resource for analysis and you can find out quite a lot from your competitor's web sites. We've created a comprehensive matrix of 75-200 items to assess when preparing a competitive analysis report for a client.

2. Identify your target audience early on as everything flows from this. You can't conceptualize your creative, graphical imagery, content or what type of online media you want to deploy until you know the size and characteristics of your target audience.

3. Think revenue producing branding - this translates to marketing campaigns that deliver sales (the goal of all good marketing campaigns) by customer acquisition. Meaning, develop messages that speak to your audience. B2B customers typically want referenceable data that addresses their needs. "Our xyz services help you leverage your IT resources by…." Think providing tactical information to enhance their decision-making!

4. If your early to market or just plain old early stage then you may want to develop some branding with other complementary partners who have established names (brands) in your market segment. This can include joint announcements, co-branded pages; direct marketing or opt-in e-mail pieces, etc. Here's an example of a co-branded page we did for an existing client, PolyServe, Inc. http://www.polyserve.com/partners.html

5 .Make sure you PR agency and Interactive or Traditional Agency are all in concert when it comes to building a branding campaign. Your various messages and processes should be mutually reinforcing.

6. Select an Interactive or Traditional Agency that understands your unique B2B needs. Consumer branding is much different than B2B Customer Acquisition Branding. By "understand" I mean ask them about the types of campaigns they've set up for previous clients, what types of media they've used, do they know how to develop creative that speaks to a potential B2B client - I love the "do the Dew" campaign, but this isn't the type of branding you would want to deploy for an IT Manager who is contemplating a purchase of your software.

7. How do you measure effective branding on the web? I am not sure if I have any answer or if I have unlimited answers - this is such a difficult marketing characteristic to measure. But, again, be "customer-centric" - ask people who purchase your software or services what they think. Why did you purchase (or why not if you can), did our marketing address your needs, was it meaningful and informative?

8. Think digital shelf life when branding on the web - you have to build messages and content that will only last for a finite amount of time. You have to continually refresh your branding and positioning by developing new content for a web site, opt-in e-mail or banner advertising campaign.

9. Incorporate your offline branding (creative, content, graphics, etc.) into your online branding when/where you can. So your customer has a sense of continuity when they review all of your marketing and communications processes. This also sends a signal to them that you have carefully thought through your overall campaign.

10. Last but not least - build net speed into your overall campaign. I've said it before in many articles, but always essential to underscore; better to be quick to market with something that may need slight calibration later on that to delay a facet of a campaign of the entire campaign to get everything perfect! Revenue is the engine that makes a B2B Branding campaign work and you can't drive sales unless you are putting your branding message out there in front of your potential customers!

Successful Affiliate Opus

2008-05-07T23:00:00.000-07:00

Overcoming the Five Obstacles to Affiliate Success

Nearly every mass marketable product or service available online sports an Affiliate Program or MLM matrix to encourage small business people to sell those products or services to others.

For beginners in the online marketplace and even some pro's, these programs offer the best opportunity for earning substantial incomes to their participants.

Yet, despite the promise of Affiliate Programs and MLM's for making money online, fewer than 5% of all participants will ever be successful with them! Only one out of a hundred will ever earn more than $1000 per month from the programs!

There are several factors contributing to these dismal numbers:

Failure to try
Failure to learn
Building sales without any concern about building a network
Building a network without any concern for sales
Failure to duplicate

FAILURE TO TRY

Many people will argue this point. They argue that they tried and the program failed them. Yet, if you were to persist in your queries, most people's idea of trying is throwing a banner on their website or running one or two untested ads. Folks, that just does not cut it!

Being successful in an Affiliate Program, MLM program or anything else be it online or offline requires much more than a half-hearted, short-lived attempt at promoting a program.

FAILURE TO LEARN

Whatever endeavor is undertaken, success comes with knowledge. College is good at teaching folks the basics of hundreds of professions. Folks understand that in order to be a CPA, an attorney, a chemist, an engineer or any of a number of professions, they must learn a great deal of knowledge before they will be successful in the field.

Yet, the same people will come online and believe they can turn on the computer and already know everything there is to know about running a successful online business.

To be successful as an online marketer, it helps to at least become acquainted with web design, graphics design, copy writing, marketing research, promotion, advertising, customer service and many other areas. It also helps to know about areas specific to the Internet such as search engine optimization, web traffic patterns, direct email marketing, and networking with others.

As an online marketer, you should either have knowledge of these various disciplines or be prepared to hire on people who already possess these skills. Unless you have very deep pockets, you should be prepared to learn a few of these skills for yourself.

BUILDING SALES WITHOUT ANY CONCERN ABOUT BUILDING A NETWORK

The largest advantage of the Affiliate Program or MLM program is the ability to grow a network of affiliates underneath of you.

While you are able to sell a certain amount of products or services to the consumer, a team of people who can sell just as many products or services as you can, will add to your full income potential. Due to the nature of the Affiliate Program and the MLM program, you will earn a small percentage from the sales of all of the people in your network of sellers.

As an affiliate without a network, your potential earnings are limited by the number of products and services you can sell by yourself.

With the average Affiliate Program or MLM, the first tier of your network will generally net you a 10% to 20% cut of all of the products and services your first tier people sell. With only five sellers underneath of you on your first tier, you are at the minimum capable of doubling your monthly income.

BUILDING A NETWORK WITHOUT ANY CONCERN FOR SALES

The most devastating cause for failure is building a network of people whose sole focus is building a network of affiliates!

Folks, no matter the size of your network, be advised. No income can be earned until someone sells a product or service!

What good is a network of thousand marketers whose only concern is building a network and not selling the products and services which are required to earn commissions?

A thousand affiliates with no sales adds up to a whopping zero dollar check for you!

FAILURE TO DUPLICATE

The most important person in your network is YOU!

You begin by making an honest effort. You follow-up by building your knowledge base, continuing to learn always. You then focus on actually selling products and services. Always in the back of your mind, you are looking ahead to the day when you will begin building your network of affiliates.

The important thing to remember is that your network is always a mirror image of YOU and YOUR EFFORTS.

Duplication is the process of actually teaching someone else to do exactly as you do. Nothing more, nothing less.

If you are doing everything right, then those who look to you for guidance and leadership will be making a sincere effort, learning, selling products and services, then building their network, and leading their people to success, just as you are.

It is up to you and you alone to avoid the common pitfalls in Affiliate Programs and MLM's. It is up to you to do what it takes to succeed in making money online. It is up to you to develop the skills necessary for success and to lead your team by example.

Keep things simple and manageable. Focus your attention to doing what it takes to be successful in whatever program you take on. Then find five good people to lead in the development of their online business and truly DUPLICATE YOURSELF with each of these five people.

You have what it takes to join the 5% who are successful with Affiliate Programs and MLM programs. It is now time to get to work and make your dreams of online marketing success a reality.

Author, Bill Platt, is co-owner of Double Eagle Business Center (DEBC). By providing an honest and well thought out MLM Opportunity, DEBC meets all the legal requirements for an online MLM plus offers products and services which can support any online business, along with an innovative and a generous commission structure for Affiliates. http://PathTrax.com/x.pl/BP121,52.

E-commerce Wrong Ode

2008-05-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

The Five Most Commonly Encountered, Off-putting E-commerce Errors

While getting less public handwringing than during holiday season, the "abandoned shopping cart problem" continues to wreak havoc on online sales. Recently I judged a raftload of sites for the Webby Awards (my second time) and for the Inc. magazine Web Awards, as well as for my own clients. Here are the five irritants and obstacles that most frequently disrupt the visitor's shopping experience at e-commerce sites.

Lack of quick orientation for first-time visitors. What does the site sell? I've had to poke around for several minutes sometimes to understand the focus of a site. Jargon is one culprit. Another is lack of context, like an airline site that sells tickets not giving a single clue on the home page in what countries or even what continent it flies.
Explanations that don't explain. What does the product do and not do? Another basic, but it happens often that a site doesn't explain whether their "Turbocharge VT27-Plus" is a one-time download, a subscription, a Web-based service or something else. An alternative payment system's site failed to offer a clear, systematic description of how it works.
Missing prices and shipping charges. How much? You shouldn't have to put something into a shopping cart or enter your credit card information to learn how much an item costs, including shipping. Unfortunately, you still find this mistake at sites that have had plenty of time to get their act together.
Unreadable text. Say what? Creativity gone haywire seems to be the hallmark of some Web designers. Orange letters on a blue background, olive green on black, light gray on white and blue on blue were combinations that sent me packing, as did lettering too small for over-40 eyes.
Inconsistencies. Huh? One site says, "To sign up, click on the Sign Up link at the top of every page." But the site does not have any "Sign Up" link, only "Sign In." Such carelessness wastes the time of earnest shoppers and gets them frustrated and fed up, never to return.

Blunders are equally rampant at well-funded corporate sites and those from home-based businesses. The good news is that many of the errors are extremely easy and inexpensive to fix.

Written by marketing guru Marcia Yudkin, author of Poor Richard's Web Site Marketing Makeover: Improve Your Message and Turn Visitors into Buyers, from Top Floor Publishing (http://www.yudkin.com/mmakeover.htm) and numerous other books on marketing. She began offering Web site reviews for $40 (http://www.yudkin.com/sitereview.htm).

Online Business Poem

2008-05-07T22:52:00.000-07:00

Guarantee For Success

If you're trying to get a new online business started, and you don't have a clearly stated guarantee policy, I can GUARANTEE you that a year from now, you'll still be trying to get your business OFF THE GROUND, unless you've gotten discouraged and given up!

Even in the traditional brick and mortar world of off-line sales, people need to touch and see a product before they have enough confidence to buy. That's why stores like Sears and JC Penny do so much more walk-in business than catalog sales. In an online business, this consumer apprehension is intensified by not having a physical store, or in many cases even a phone number to turn to if a product doesn't meet expectations.

Add to that the common fear many consumers have about credit card transactions in cyberspace, and it's not hard to see that you need to put your prospective customers at ease if they're to become buyers.

How can you make your customers feel that doing business with you is not a risky proposition? The answer is incredibly simple...offer a money back guarantee!

Let's take a look at the up-side of offering a guarantee. First, it provides a statement of personal confidence in your product. To be blunt, if you lack confidence in your product - you shouldn't be selling it anyway!

The same is true even if you're marketing someone else's product for a commission, or an affiliate program for a multi-level marketing sales program. If the parent company doesn't eliminate risk by offering to refund fees within a clearly stated time frame, find a different program to market. You'll be amazed how much easier it will be to sign up new affiliates if you eliminate the risk.

More on the up-side - A solid guarantee policy gives your enterprise a clear image of professionalism. After all, only a legitimate business would offer to give dissatisfied customers their money back, right?

There are so many entrepreneurial start-ups on the Net today, that many opportunity seekers are skeptical of any program giving the appearance of being a small home business. The assumption is: "They're no bigger than I am, and may not be in business next month, so why risk my money with them?"

Offering a money back guarantee dispels the small entrepreneurial image, and alleviates skepticism more than you can imagine.

Now let's take a look at the downside. If you offer a money- back guarantee, you'll be deluged with refund requests, right?

This is only true if you're selling something that is not as you describe it in your sales literature. If you've done an accurate job of explaining the features of your product to the customer before they make their purchase, there won't be any surprises that will trigger their refund reflex. In other words, give them what they paid you, and they'll be unlikely to complain about it.

Overall, the percentage of buyers asking for refunds from reputable online businesses is very low. A 10% return rate would be surprisingly high, and you would want to take a hard look at either your sales material, or your products themselves, to try to determine what was causing the dissatisfaction. Be sure you're not promising something you aren't delivering.

Of course, from time to time, you will probably get a refund request, people being generally a fickle breed. What to do? Process it immediately - no questions asked! Make it as painless for your customers to get a refund as you do for them to make a purchase. Stand behind your guarantee policy. Flaunt it - cheerfully take care of dissatisfied customers. Make it a pleasant experience, then request a testimonial about your guarantee policy...turn it into a positive part of your marketing literature.

Don't be concerned with losses; they'll be minimal. If you're shipping hard goods, of course, wait until the customer returns the product before you process the refund. However, if you're selling downloadable software or website access, you'd be hard-pressed to convince me that you experienced a measurable financial loss even if a customer dishonestly didn't destroy the software they downloaded. With a website membership, of course, you should deactivate their password, but whatever you do, don't let pettiness or greed cloud your judgment and delay prompt processing of refund requests.

You should try to seek out comments from dissatisfied customers as to the nature of their complaint, so that you can take any action necessary to improve your product, but don't make this a condition of the refund. Send the refund notification in an e-mail, and then close by politely requesting comments as to where your product failed them.

A word of caution...DO NOT make your guarantee policy complex or vague...the cleaner and simpler, the better. Best is: "If you are dissatisfied with your purchase for any reason, we offer a 100% money-back, no questions asked, refund of your purchase price." It is acceptable to set a time limit if you must, but make it reasonable. If it will take them a month to use and honestly evaluate your program, don't limit the guarantee to a week.

Vague, unclear guarantees will place you under a blanket of suspicion, and will do more harm than good to your sales efforts. Leave the conditions out...simply accept ANY REASON, or even NO REASON, for customer dissatisfaction.

Don't nitpick in your policy. Even if your credit card processing company doesn't refund the service fee to your account, give the customer 100% of their money back. Losing a few dollars on a refund is far less costly than losing hundreds of sales with a convoluted refund policy.

The boosted sales that a liberal guarantee policy will give you far outweigh any minimal losses you might incur from processing infrequent refund requests.

There is simply no better way to increase sales than to make doing business with you a completely risk-free proposal for your customers. A guarantee is essential to a sound business plan.

Written by Bob McGrath, author of the acclaimed new eBook: 'Don't Quit Your Day Job...YET!' He is also the Founder of Web Home Jobs, a unique home based self-employment opportunity at: http://www.webhomejobs.com.

Costume Players Serenade

2008-05-07T22:44:00.000-07:00

Have You Heard About...Cosplay?

The word "cosplay" is actually a blending of the words "costume" and "play". Cosplayers are called this because not only do they dress up like their favorite characters, but they also act out skits and pose for pictures as the characters - just like actors in a play.

Most cosplayers dress up for conventions, where they can participate in on-stage skits and costume contests. They mingle with other like-minded people who will often recognize their character on sight. Many web sites post galleries of pictures of cosplayers they spot at conventions, and some people even have stores where you can purchase a costume if you don?t feel like making your own.

Cosplayers gather from all over the world to attend conventions. Some practice speaking like the character and stay in character during the entire convention, especially while having photos taken. Others simply enjoy wearing the same outfit as their favorite character and don?t act any different than normal.

Occasionally cosplayers will pose for gag pictures in which they are doing something the actual character would never do. An example would be an extremely violent character suddenly hugging everyone and doing the peace sign at the camera with no weapons in sight.

In fact, some cosplayers? entire costumes are parodies! They will dress up as a made-up character that is obviously parodying the outfit of an existing one (example: Sailor Meatball Head.) Sometimes they dress up as an inanimate object - like a box of Glico's much-loved snack food, Pocky.

These cosplay parodies are funny to see and infinitely more amusing if you?ve seen the show or read the book that features the things they're making fun of.

Those who cosplay seriously often make their entire costume from scratch. This means sewing their costume - creating such items as swords and bejeweled shoulderpads. Depending on the character, they might even make prosthetic limbs! Any cat-girl cosplayer can tell you that having a well-made set of cat ears and a tail can really make the costume.

Others wear wings for angelic or demonic characters, apply makeup for characters who have unique complexions (like the indigo blue or obsidian black drows) and wear false fangs or long fingernails to emulate a character?s exact look. Many wear wigs, but some determined cosplayers even grow their hair out or cut it short and color it to match their cosplay character.

Cosplayers dress up solo or with friends and family, and sometimes they form cosplay groups. These groups all dress up as characters from one particular story, so that when they attend a convention it will look like the whole cast of the show or book is present! It's much more fun to act like a character if you have another character from the same story to act with.

Many cosplay groups do skits, as they have the whole story's cast at their disposal. Cosplay groups generally know each other in person, but I?ve found a few on the internet who only meet up to cosplay at conventions and don't live anywhere near each other in their everyday lives.

Cosplayers come in all shapes, sizes, races and ages. There is no age limit for cosplay and often adult cosplayers will bring their children along dressed up as characters too! Some couples cosplay as characters who are in love with each other. Some couples, if not for cosplay, would never have met each other!

Cosplaying is a hobby. As with most hobbies, it can get expensive and time-consuming. But any cosplayer who has had the pride and enjoyment of wearing the costume they created themselves and being recognized by other fans as that character can tell you that it's worth it.

If you are interested in learning more about cosplay, or would like to see pictures of cosplayers in their various costumes, try visiting these great cosplay sites!

http://www.cosplay.com/ -- Cosplay.com

http://www.acparadise.com/ -- American Cosplay Paradise

http://www.alleycatscratch.com/lotr/ -- Lord of the Rings Costume

http://www.ushicon.com/cosplay.html -- Ushicon

Author, Mallory York, has been drawing since before she knew how to date a picture, and has been creating anime art for four years. Among her favorite anime series are Fushigi Yuugi, Gundam Wing, and The Slayers. You can read some of her fanfic at Fanfiction.net and view more of her artwork at HTTP://WWW.L7S.NET and also at HTTP://WWW.ELFWOOD.COM.

Jazz Verse

2008-05-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

Jazz Yatra

Jazz is arguably the most argumentative form of music (even has diminished and argumented chords). So at the outset let me present my side of the argument. Jazz is musical improvisation, right? Indian classical music is improvisation, still right? Granted Indian music does not have the harmonies of the west. But the keyword here is improvisation and not harmony, absolutely right? Indian classical music has been around for more than two thousand years. The Americans discovered Jazz less than a hundred years ago. Right then, now that we have established India as the birth place of Jazz lets head for the Indian Jazz Yatra.

Surfacing on day one are the cats (kangaroos?) from down under. Jamie Oehlers Quintet and the Perth Jazz Orchestra. Jamie opens. Good band. Great Jazz. Jamie and the boys are jammin’ alright. On to act two which is...ahem, an extended remix of act one. Jamie and the boys brought their buddies along to form the Perth Jazz Orchestra! It’s always a thrill hearing the powerful and dynamic sounds of a big band. Reminds me about what teamwork is all about. Each and every member looked really happy to be a small part of the big picture. Standing out and upfront with the big band was vocalist Mark Underwood with a rich and velvety voice that reached out and caressed the audience. Very enjoyable evening. Good start for Jazz Yatra. Met up with lots of old and new friends all sharing a common love for music being created live. Day one was the Aussies night out. Pity we didn’t get to hear their musical instrument called didgeridoo or didgerididnt or something.

Day two features Jazz Yatra’s trump card. Trumpet player Dave Douglas from the U.S. of A. Voted as worlds best trumpet player by readers of Downbeat magazine and Archie comics. Satya led by Dave settles down on stage, I mean sits down on stage. Just then heaven walks past me in her tiniest black number. Tosses her tresses and glances in my direction. Music begins. Band hasn’t begun. Chaos. Band begins. Wrench myself back to earth. Satya’s seated in a neat semi circle. Myra cross legged on harmonium. Dave cross eyed on trumpet. Samir and Sanghamitra cross country on tabla and tanpura respectively. Dave looks like a snake charmer about to charm a snake right out of Samirs tabla. Band’s playing. Music flows. Sounds charming indeed. I notice a lot of snakes in the audience slowly rise and slither towards the canteen hip flasks in hand. Crowd’s getting restless, collective murmurs, customary grunts and some oinks of disapproval about the raags being given to us by Satya...nass. Rang Bhavan is under threat of being converted into a huge open air Just not Jazz by the bay! Mr. Compere comes up and requests the crowds to stop disturbing the performers. I’m tempted to yell back, 'the performers are disturbing us'. The trumpet player may be hot but it’s the batatawadas (hot, spicy Indian snack) that are smokin’ right now. So I get up and head for the snakes, I mean snacks, at the canteen located next to the loo! And I’m not talking about the loo as in the Louies wife. Okay I’m back. I don’t quit so easily. And guess what? Half the band is joined by three other musicians to form Myra Melfords 'Same River Twice'! I’m slowly beginning to understand the mathematics of music. Things are getting interesting at Jazz Yatra. The river flows. This band is wild. Making avant garde efforts to push back the boundaries of Jazz. Pianist Myra’s brilliant and definitely an inspiring band leader. Dave is beginning to sound like he has earned his votes. The Jap chap playing bass seems to be getting more out of his headless and fretless bass.

Day three opens with Harsha Makalande on solo 'Hamburg Steinway piano tuned by Mr. Mistry' as Mr. Compere kept announcing a little more often than the necessary sponsor plug. Anyway, Harsha sounds like he is rehearsing for his next big solo performance. He probably feels that way too since there’s just a handful of Jazz enthusiasts present in their respective seats at 7.00 PM sharp. Then came the Vijay Iyer Quartet. Now here is a brilliant group of musicians, each a virtuoso in his own right, with strings of academical achievement behind their music. I could almost smell the textbooks from where it all came. This is great Jazz. The musicians on stage are incredibly tuned into each other. They have obviously been playing together for a long time or may be they can read each others minds or perhaps they read each others textbooks. Then again, it could just be the simple fact that they wear each others T-Shirts. Great performance. Good show. Brilliant musicianship. But for some reason the quartet doesn’t really make me want to stand on my chair and yell 'yebdiyow'. At one point though, in the middle of the bass solo I did feel like getting up and waltzing into heaven seated just two rows ahead. Unfortunately the tune was in five and a half time. This would certainly complicate things in the ballroom department of dance. Whats next ? Oh yes. Its Malcolm Mc’Neil, from New Zealand and you better believe this, he is being backed by Jamie and the Jammers from day one. Now Mally looked a little bewildered on stage. He was probably wondering what the heck is he doing on stage at an international Jazz festival when he should have been safely tucked into a cosy nightclub at some swanky five star hotel in New Zealand. He did put up a spirited performance however, and considering he found out who his back up band was only the night before showtime, he did exceptionally well. In fact I even overheard a couple of women expressing their intense desire to hug him as he sang, 'have I told you lately'.

Time for the grand finale featuring petite Louisa Cottifogli backed by the Louis Banks trio and act two featuring the big surprise, world renowned clarinet player Eddie Daniels and wife Mirabai who seems to be on her way to nirvana via the Indian Yatra. You’ve guessed right, the couples going to be backed by the Louis Banks trio. I guess India has yet to produce another rhythm section as awesome as Louis Banks, Karl Peters and Ranjit Barot. Little Louisa kicks off the grand finale with 'Vande Mataram'. Great. This little Italian has really got us Indians by the balls. Then she proceeds to twist them around miming vocalists from different parts of the world. I almost forgot what an Italian singer sounds like. Now comes the sucker punch, she goes and does a Dave Douglas on us (she starts miming a trumpet). And finally virtuoso clarinet player Eddie Daniels takes the stage with the tireless trio. Scorching solos. Dazzling display of musicianship and improvisational skills. Wifey joins the party. And promptly starts cookin’. Reminds me of our own version of an American Jazz singer, the ageless Pam Crain. A few exciting tunes down the show, differences seemed to creep in onstage. Differences probably musical, financial, political or some other ill seemed to crop up in broad spotlight. Differences at Jazz by the bay is war. Differences at an international platform like the Jazz Yatra is world war. And so finally the curtains came down on the world war, sorry, Jazz Yatra. The bottom line is, the boys at Jazz India did make it happen against all odds. Even if the batatawadas and babes were far more happening than the bands.

Author, Colin D'Cruz, is a jazz bassplayer currently based in India. Review some of his bands at http://www.hullocheck.com.

Asian Dating Opus

2008-05-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

Does Age Matter?

In the Asian online dating world it is not uncommon for a older gentlemen to marry a younger lady. If you ask why this is the case, you’ll get a varied amount of comments. The negative reasons usually have to do with an Asian lady wanting an older gentlemen for financial reasons. I have had some tell me that this not a negative reason, but what stems from this argument are a variety of unpleasant comments. For example, “gold diggers” “mail order bride,” etc.

In other articles I have written I agreed with the assessment that Filipina ladies want to improve their living status by stating that most ladies want to improve their status financially, no matter the culture. So this argument smells of hyprocacy.

Let’s get back to some of the more positive reasons. Most of the following comments are from me asking other Filipina ladies this question: “Why do you like older men?” or I may of asked: “Does age matter?”

Several ladies told me a younger guy is not settled. They are looking for someone who is serious and they seem to believe an older man is more serious about marriage. They did state that a younger guy may not have the financial means to come to their country to visit them and maintain a courtship. When pressed why they thought this, most simply stated “who would have a better job, a 20 year old guy or a 40 year old guy.” I didn’t get into the possibilities of a younger man having a good job with the ladies, but for the record, this seems to be the belief system of Asian women.

This tells me that these ladies weigh the criteria. They take getting in a long distance relationship seriously and don’t want to risk being involved with someone who doesn’t have the staying power needed to be involved in a long distance courtship. In some cases, these ladies had already experienced a relationship with a younger man and after six months was abandon. Getting your heart broken is no fun and most Asian ladies believe a younger man is more likely to do just that. To these ladies it doesn’t make sense to get involved with someone that may not be able to afford to fly to their country to meet them (this is one of the INS criteria for the K-1 process). These ladies realize this requirement and put more emphasis on this criteria then lets say a lady living in the states would.

All this talk about young versus old, led me to question the ladies motives. I simply asked, “if age is a factor in a man’s ability to see a courtship through to marriage, is this your biggest reason to marry?”. That’s when the subject of love came up. Most Asian ladies still want to be attracted to a gentlemen, but what attracts them versus what attracts an American lady seem to differ. Behavior is a big attraction. Most Asian ladies say if a man acts like a gentlemen, in time they find him very attractive and fall in love. Asian ladies don’t put as much emphasis on first looks or impressions. They are more open to courtship until they get to know your character .

This discussion about behavior, courtship, etc. led us back to the discussion of a man’s age. Again, most ladies believe an older gentlemen have rid themselves of his wild oats. They believe older men have learned how to treat a lady like a lady. They believe a younger male isn’t as patient and is more likely to have a wondering eye or worse, a wondering sexual drive.

After many conversations and emails, I can put this discussion about age in perspective. Age is a factor only because of an Asian ladies belief system. However, other criteria does weigh in. In this case, I can use my marriage to Liza (my Filipina Lady) as an example. Liza was courted by several gentlemen. I was far from the richest or best looking. However, I did have a stable job and could afford to be in a long distant relationship (I saved my $). Some of the gentlemen who had more money then I, actually turn Liza off. Even though she wanted to meet a gentlemen who could afford to be in such a relationship, she was not going to be bought. Any gentlemen who tried to shower her with fancy talk about his wealth was crossed off her list. I was much more humble and polite. That generated feelings which led us down the path to matrimony. There is no doubt if I couldn’t of afford to follow through with the courtship, Liza would of had no choice but to find someone else.

My example is typical. These ladies are not looking for wealth, but stability. They are not looking for a young stud, but a man who will treat her with respect, a man who wants to get married and will stay the course through thick and thin. Asian ladies just happen to believe that most older men fit this criteria. All I got to say to the older guys is count your lucky stars. For you younger guys you need to show the lady you are the exception to their belief system. Don’t try to buy them. Show them you care, you are serious about courting them, and that you have the will and maturity to make dreams come true.

Author, Steve Eyes, is a webmaster for FilipinaEyes Association and gains his insight from his online dating experience and helping others find love on one of his online dating web sites: http://www.filipinaeyes.com, http://www.filipinalady.biz, http://www.filipina-lady.org, http://www.filipina-lady.net.

Camping Ode

2008-05-07T22:34:00.000-07:00

Camping in Lead King Basin

The first Summer that I lived in Colorado provided me with an opportunity to spend six weeks camping in the western Rocky Mountains, during June and July. In preparation for a summer in the outdoors, I acquired an eleven-year-old1985 Dodge Ramcharger, a model famous for its 4x4 capability and ruggedness. Just the thing for negotiating the wilds of the West Elk Mountains. I cruised south from Glenwood Springs, turned short of the road to Aspen, and passed the beehive coke ovens of Redstone to the town of Marble. In some ways, Marble is a modern ghost town, with dirt roads and weather-beaten cabins, but as it hosts a Post Office and fire department, it retains its "living" status. True to its name, the local quarries provided some of the highest quality stone for monuments in Washington.

Pavement rapidly disappeared as I headed up the steep, one-lane road from Marble. I passed the U.S. Forest Service road sign that advised "4WD Only Beyond This Point" and my pulse quickened. I took the right fork and jounced slowly over twin ruts, the former road to an actual ghost town located some miles from Marble. As I rounded a bend blasted through granite, just wide enough to accommodate a horse-drawn wagon, I braked suddenly and gasped. The road in front dropped off into a steep pile of rubble that clung to the side of a mountain, high above the roaring Crystal River. Even the twin ruts degenerated into a jagged surface of jumbled boulders and cobbles. At the base of the steep bank of talus, off the road, a dented, burned-out Chevy pickup rested in the weeds, a derelict from a previous adventure in decades gone by. I shifted into 4-Low and dropped the automatic transmission into "1", such a low gear that even at engine idle the Ramcharger jerked forward and crawled to the tune of rhythmically whining gears. Two feet from the edge of the road’s drop-off, and mindful of the Chevy’s fate, I began the bouncing, swaying descent. Momentarily, the speedometer needle rose slightly from where it bottomed out at 5 mph, and it gently tapped the brakes. Too fast, perhaps 3 mph was more suitable. I crept down the ancient road, imagining how teamsters had once negotiated wagons over this treacherous track.

At last I reached the bottom, where the road was pot-holed and covered with dirt, presumably settled-out flood sediment from the roaring Crystal River, whose whitecaps danced at a level only slightly lower than the road. After some time, I ascended a rise and came opposite a weather-beaten, yet picturesque mill perched high upon a jutting promontory of granite above the river. Giant wooden beams, shed from the structure after a punishing winter, whirled in the vortex at the base of the millrace, smashed to splinters as the thundering current relentlessly pounded them into the unyielding granite. Beyond, the town of Crystal crouched alongside the road. Through town, the road had completely degenerated into a rutted, rocky, jouncing misery even at 5 mph. Rugged log cabin-type structures lined the street, constructed of rough-hewn square timbers notched together, boarded up and nailed shut. Aha, but I saw that this wasn’t strictly a ghost town! The last house on the edge of town had a somewhat cared-for appearance, with a circa 1974 Ford pickup parked in front that prominently displayed a bumper sticker that advised "51% Nice Guy, 49% SOB. Don’t Push It." No problem there, I’m just passing through.

As I continued out of town, the lush, green valley of Lead King Basin was sprawled out before me. I had broken out of the woods along the river bottom, and thick green grass sprinkled with yellow, blue, and white flowers swayed in the mountain breezes. All around, majestic, snow-capped granite peaks rose toward the sky, and the steep, jagged cliffs of the distinctively colored Maroon Sandstone jutted into the air. This is the same rock formation made famous in Colorado postcards of the Maroon Bells. I climbed the narrow jeep trail, carefully driving over a series of berms that, from the look of the surrounding prospect pits, had been piled up by a bulldozer to keep out the casual gawkers when prospecting had been more lucrative. I took a sharp left, and had to gun the engine to climb the steep, one-lane trail that ended at the boundary of the Maroon Bells-Snowmass Wilderness. What a gorgeous sight, as the classic U-shaped glacial valley spread out before me. The daily afternoon rainshower had begun, and so I elected to remain in the shelter of the Ramcharger’s backseat for the night. The giant windows afforded a spectacular view of the surroundings, and I gasped in awe as lightning bolts crackled from the snow-capped, granite peaks across the valley at my very eye level.

The rain gradually diminished and ceased by mid-morning, and it was time to continue on my way. I rolled out of my parking spot, back onto the shallow, twin ruts that would lead me the short way back to the main jeep road. Suddenly, apprehension gripped me as I noted that the ruts, so easily climbed the night before, had a pronounced tilt from my present approach. I had been proceeding at a relatively sedate 15 mph, but apprehension turned to panic as I felt the Ramcharger begin to slide sideways as gravity tied to pull it down the deceptively shallow, but increasingly steep slope into a shallow gully. For a split second I considered making a controlled, soft landing, but quickly realized that by the time I slid to the bottom of the shallow gully, the truck would be on its side with no hope of recovery. As an automatic reaction to avoid danger, I stepped on the brake and was horrified to feel the truck speed up as the tires broke loose on the wet grass and greasy mud. I could hear the slithering slap of wet, leafy fronds on the tires and felt my momentum increase, bearing me toward the declivity, as I screamed Oh, Dammit NO! Counter to panicked intuition, I clutched the ball of the transfer case lever and pulled it back sharply from 2-High into 4-High as I goosed the accelerator. Trying to slow down had nearly been disastrous, and my heart was pounding as I desperately hoped that the engaged front wheels would pull me back up onto the treacherous, deceitful twin-rutted path. By now leaning crazily, the spinning front tires found purchase and arrested my lateral slide into the gully, as the Ramcharger regained the shallow, muddy ruts with a final fishtail. As I began to relax, I realized that within five seconds I would have a more serious problem. I had regained enough momentum to climb back onto the gently tilted trail, but as I crested a slight rise, I stared straight down, past the adjoining main jeep trail and out into space past the edge of the cliff. While congratulating myself on avoiding one disaster, I was now rapidly speeding toward another, since I now had enough momentum to careen down the hill, shoot across the jeep trail, and fly off the cliff. Recalling my Wisconsin winter-driving experience, I shifted the automatic transmission into neutral to disengage drive to the wheels and began gently tapping the brake pedal at a furious rate. As the cliff edge loomed, I felt the truck slow and knew I had regained control. I crept down the steepest part of the rutted trail onto the main jeep road at the dizzying speed of about six inches per second. My heart was pounding, and my entire body was so tensed that I could barely command my leg to press the brake pedal, or my arm to shift into Park. I idled on the jeep road, as the adrenaline spasms rippled through my body and I tried to catch my breath. When I finally regained control of myself, I crawled along the greasy, shale-slicked road in 4-Low, and considered myself lucky to be leaving Lead King Basin.

Author, Sandin Phillipson: I am a geologist, and have spent time in several countries and worked on different civil and mining projects. I thought it would be fun to write about some of my experiences. I have other articles and photos at my web page, located at: http://sedward.home.netcom.com/petrography.html.

Skiing Opus

2008-05-07T22:32:00.000-07:00

The Ultimate Skiing Experience

For downhill skiers, “powder snow” provides the ultimate skiing experience. For most skiers however, good powder skiing is a short-lived and infrequent event. Ski areas in some geographic areas enjoy fairly frequent “powder days” but in most areas, powder days are rare and the dryness and depth of snow is often marginal.

In most ski areas too, when powder snow does occur, it is only a matter of hours before it is completely "tracked out”, lumped up and beaten down. Only those few early birds that ride the first chairs in the morning get the ultimate run of the day, in deep, consistent, smooth, untracked snow.

For years, diehard powder snow enthusiasts have headed for the backcountry to “ski the powder” among remote alpine peaks, far from crowded ski areas. Many enjoy the peace and quiet of ski touring and move and ski at a pace governed by their own physical fitness.

Others who may be less ambitious or have less time, but who have ample disposable funds, have headed for the backcountry in helicopters. For about $1000 per day or more, heli-operators offer small groups of proficient skiers 5 to 7 days of guided skiing on huge pristine slopes, high in the mountains. Guests stay in comfortable lodges and spend their days being shuttled back and forth with their guides, with each run on a fresh untracked slope. Heli skiing has its problems. There are “down days” when storms make flying impossible and there is always the inherent risk of all backcountry skiing: avalanche.

Avalanche risk depends on many factors. All reputable backcountry operators provide highly qualified guides who choose areas for skiing and a safe route down the hill. On days of poor weather or unstable snow, guides may avoid alpine areas and restrict their groups to "skiing the trees”. Tree skiing is a fixture of all mechanized backcountry skiing and is preferred by some skiers to the more open “alpine” skiing.

In recent years, a new type of mechanized backcountry ski operator has emerged. Snowcat skiing operators use snowcats to transport skiers and snowboarders into backcountry regions. Snowcats are fitted with a large cab that seats clients in a warm, comfortable environment. A snowcat typically carries a group of 12 clients, two guides and a driver.

Of course, snowcats are much slower than helicopters. They are also much less expensive and guests can expect to pay between $500 and $600 a day, including transportation, lodging, meals, and guiding. As slow as snowcats may be, most clients will wear themselves out every day and get just as much skiing as their group can handle.

The great advantage of cat skiing is that “down” days almost never occur. Clients ski every day and bad weather can often mean extra-good snow. Cat skiing is more relaxed and “laid back” than heli skiing as there is no need to share equipment between groups or to maximize equipment usage. Cat skiing is very “client-friendly”. Each group has a dedicated machine and it moves at the group’s pleasure. Weaker skiers can feel at ease and not “pushed”.

Snowcats provide a relatively quiet, comfortable, warm and relaxed environment in which the trip back up the hill can be almost as much fun as the run down. Guests can “unbutton”, dry out, warm up, converse and browse on sandwiches, cookies, cake and drinks. If a guest gets tired, it’s easy to “sit out” a run and ride down to the next pickup with the cat driver.

Snowcat skiing is more restricted geographically than heli skiing. However, that has a drawback. Since they can operate in a larger area, heli-operators may sometimes be less familiar with changing snow conditions and risk factors than snowcat operators who work in a more restricted area.

Most snowcat operators have ample terrain to consistently provide good snow, even in periods of drought, and to ensure that clients exhaust themselves every day. Chatter Creek Mountain Lodges Ltd. operates in a 95 sq. km area and ski between the elevations of 5400ft and 9500 ft. Monashee Powder Adventures advertises an area of 66 sq. km and operate between the elevations of 7800 ft and 3,000 ft.. Baldface Lodge uses over 140 sq km. Guests need not worry about running out of terrain!

Snowcat skiing provides a wonderful holiday for intermediate and advanced skiers alike. Individuals, family groups, groups of friends, business associates can have a “trip to remember”. Operators with remote lodges offer a real “backcountry” experience, usually with good food and very comfortable accommodations.

Author, Lockie Brown, is retired and lives near Vancouver, B.C., Canada. He has cat skied for about 10 years, taking groups of 12 and 24 friends to different cat ski venues in British Columbia. He now takes his groups to Chatter Creek Mountain Lodges near Golden, B.C. For more information, please refer to the Chatter Creek Web site at http://backcountrywintervacations.com/.

JAZZ Serenade

2008-05-07T22:29:00.000-07:00

All About Jazz!

Q. What is the difference between a pizza and a jazz musician?
A. A pizza can feed a family of four!

What is it about jazz that makes a jazz musician stick to a form of music that A&R managers have scientifically and suspiciously proven to be a musician's surest route to death by starvation?

One good reason would be the fact that jazz allows me to be myself as opposed to pop that wants me to be Madonna. I would rather be me than strut onstage wearing conical jocks. I remember a male indipop album released by some genius A&R manager, titled 'mai bhi Madonna' (i'm Madonna too). Jazz as you will see, and if you've heard about 'mai bhi Madonna', helps me retain my individuality and what's left of my sanity in this big mad world of music marketing. Jazz, the most open, alive and evolving form of music, is the medium i choose to communicate and express myself musically. I know a lot of people in the audience may not understand my intense shoobee-doo-wop, shoobee-doobee-doo-wop and emotive twidlee-didlee, didlee-doo-dah along with some sensitive chaka-chaka, shaka-dish-boom-thaak. But there's always the few who can 'feel' what they can't figure. Most of the time the message i communicate may read 'hey brother, how about a loan..i'm broke again' but when i have someone in the audience enjoying my music, i become a millionaire.

Author, Colin D'Cruz, is a jazz bassplayer from India, review some of his bands at http://www.hullocheck.com.